BREASTFEEDING FORUM :)

Since I'm in this 'mode', and since Phyl, you asked how I was doing with breastfeeding (and you plan to BF also), and since I'm sure some of you that are TTC will want to BF, I figured I'd start a post on it, so that we can educate eachother, learn about it together and hopefully everyone that wants to will have a smooth ride (unlike mine ), just from having learned about it ahead of time.

I have some graphic descriptions, so please read only if you are interested !! This is not to discourage anyone from breastfeeding by any means, I just want to share my story, and hopefully we can hear some more stories and opinions from moms out there !...

I did have a wealth of info before I gave birth, but I guess what I am going through is meant to happen in most cases, it's the 'trial and error' part of it. Everyone from my sis 'the pro' to my 'old school' aunts have told me, 'it will hurt in the beginning, have patience'... so thats what i'm trying MY BEST to do...

I have learned SO MUCH about the woman's body and about breastmilk in the past week. Our bodies are amazing things ladies !!! Breastfeeding is the best 'formula' you can give your baby. As GREAT as the formulas are out there (and yes there are GREAT), they have not been able to 'duplicate' breastmilk. There is no right or wrong decision in whether to choose bottle or breast, its what works for you, your lifestyle, totally your choice. and I respect any womans choice !

This is the info I can share, based on the whole process, and what I've experienced so far : Anyone, feel free to chime in, give us more info, please correct me if i'm wrong, ask questions, and i'll get answers !

Once you give birth, your body produce colostrum,
'the first milk' (yellow in color so dont freak out!)
Here's more info on colostrum http://www.lalecheleague.org/FAQ/colostrum.html
The first few days of BFing are not painful at all in most cases. Its a new thing to you and baby, so it will take time and patience to adjust to eachother. My biggest challege was waking the baby to feed him !! Now I see how Anne Geddes gets those great shots. I was holding John Anthony in all sorts of funny positions and he slept through it all !!
After the 3rd day, I have not had that problem, he tells me EXACTLY what he wants with that cry !
Also, learning to latch him on was all new to me, the nurses at the hospital were very helpful, and I am still not even close to having perfected it...

On the third day, your body will start to produce milk, on a SUPPLY & DEMAND basis. It may take weeks for your body to adjust milk supply to your baby's schedule. Your baby will want to eat every 3hours. In between feedings, your breasts will most likely become engorged (enlarged and hardened - I miss my 34B's !! LOL) and this can become painful if you dont feed your baby or pump the milk out. I would say the 2 challenges I have faced are engorgement and sore/cracked nipples (sorry to be so graphic). This soreness happens because the baby didnt latch on correctly (little did I know ) and with time, within a day or so, I was in pain. I couldnt even let him come near me. I pumped and let DH feed him my milk in a bottle. By latching on correctly (more graphics here ladies), I have been told the baby should be lying with stomach facing your body (I have just layed him on the boppy pillow and leaned into him, wrong wrong !) and also, VERY IMPORTANT that the baby's mouth be around your areola (the dark skin around the nipple). My son latched on closer to nipple, which didnt hurt at first, but with a few feedings, I saw my mistakes. This is not to say that everyone will go through the same things. There are those that have gone through NONE of this and those that have had even tougher times...
Just wanted to open up the topic for discussion and see what you all have to say/ask/offer advice to me ??

Did you know that... As you nurse, your uterus contracts back to shape (This will only happen for a few weeks, until your uterus is back in shape), and as you are nursing, and your uterus is contracting you will get 'contractions' (more like bad monthly cramps to me!) and you will bleed very lightly. That's all we need !!! LOL.... Your uterus will go back to shape at a much slower rate if you choose not to nurse, but dont worry, it will go back ! This is also why they say your body 'snaps back' faster when you nurse... we shall see if there's truth to that ! LOL

As most of you may know, theres a Breastfeeding Group out there called La Leche League. Here's there website.
http://www.lalecheleague.org/home_intro.html
They have 'leaders' all over, several on Long Island. They are extremely supportive and helpful through it all. Phyl, its never to early to go to a meeting of theirs, I plan to go to their next one.

and thats... one to grow on.......(remember that commercial, from the 80's ??!!) DH always does that, if he's telling me something and i'm like 'oh wow, really ???' He goes 'and thats......'
Big clown !!

Re: BREASTFEEDING FORUM :)

Thanks Anna, I appreciate the detailed description (let's face it, there's no way around it with birth and all the graphic stuff that goes along with it). You mentioned quite a few things I had heard so it's good to know that most of the info that I am getting is consistent.
Question about something that I hear opposing comments on: I was told that you want to give the baby the breast vs. bottle exclusively in the beginning b/c it's easier for them to get milk from the bottle and they will be less likely to want to feed from the breast once they've had the bottle. I notice you said you have pumped and DH has given John Anthony the bottle. Has he gone back to the breast with no trouble or fussing? Or have you heard anything about that? Maybe every baby's different, since I have no experience to draw on yet, it makes it confusing.
Also, I guess you would recommend getting a breast pump as soon as possible. Did you rent, buy or borrow? I definitely want to breast feeding, I am very willing to make every effort necessary.

LOL for 3 days in a row now, I have received a big box every day from one company after another - Similac, Enfamil and someone else with huge bottles of formula and coupons. Plus my birthing class gave free full size containers....so I have tons of formula here!

Thanks!

Re: BREASTFEEDING FORUM :)

Elizabeth,

Youre right about the EXCLUSIVELY breast. I have nursed him in between the bottle since yesterday, but at one point it was so painful that I flooded with tears and lost my breathe. DH felt so bad. (Please dont get discouraged !!! We go through labor, this is just a little pinch in the 'nips' LOL. ) Its like having an open wound, a little scratch lets say in such a sensitive area, and you feel it burning kinda as it heals, and just the thought of anyone going near it... I spoke to La Leche League on the phone today (go to their website and find a leader near your town, I spoke to a GREAT gal in Huntington). She did tell me to try to do EXCLUSIVELY breast, so you were well informed on that...) I have a bad cold, and she told me its ok to nurse, even if i sneeze on him, the antibodies in breastmilk are so strong that they WILL fight off any germs from my cold. They (LLL) are kinda obsessive OBSESSIVE about breastfeeding, they are so much that they may seem like they are preaching something thats a scam, LOL (I remember when my sis found out about them after the birth of her first, 3 years ago, my boss at the time was like 'OH NO. they got her !! THATS IT , ITS ALL OVER ! ' LOL Some people dont like their opinions, but I have found them very helpful and their information is very valuable. For instance they beleive in BFing until 'whenever' I told her my sis was BFIng her 20month old, and she was like 'WOW, thats great !!!' and to me, 20 months is a bit much, especially when the kid says to her 'Mommy, lay down, LATTE !!' LOL. Its all a matter of opinion, but try to make your own judgements on some things too. I have gotten MANY contradicting opinions at the hospital also, so I TOTALLY know about being confused and fustrated, I just keep asking whoever I can ask, read whatever I can read, and then see what works for me.... Another for instance (sorry to ramble !!) ... 'the books' say to let your nipples 'air dry' and that was burning and hurting, almost making them more chapped, like making chapped lips sit in the wind ! so needless to say, I just applied Lanolin lotion to nursing pads and put them on... AHHHHH, relief.....

Phyl, you had mentioned wanting to have formula on hand 'just incase'... good thinking.. If either of you havent picked a pediatrician yet, my Dr., Mid Suffolk Pediatrics, gives a free diaper bag with lots of goodies in it, if you just make a visit. They are NO PRESSURE AT ALL about signing up... They show you around, chat and 'have a nice day'...

Heres their website. You can see the resumes of all the Dr's, all their locations and lots more info...
They were recommended to me by several good sources. So far so good !

http://www.mid-suffolkpediatrics.com/

Re: BREASTFEEDING FORUM :)

I don't belong here ( ), but Anna I just had to pipe in and say that you had me PEEING IN MY PANTS!!!! I know your poor boobs will not appreciate that, but you're killing me with your descriptions!!! They are hysterical!!!

Happy feeding!!!!!

P.S. Just wanted to say that when my nephew was born, my BIL wanted my sister to BF and there was a whole big hulabaloo in the hospital about it and my poor sister was so upset because the baby wouldn't take, she wasn't producing, etc. I turned around and told my BIL, who was getting all hot under the collar and very adament about the BF, that when he grew boobs, then he could make his stand, but until then, be quiet. Turns out the dr told her to stop because the poor kid wasn't getting anything after several days and everyone was miserable!!

Also, my cousin, who just had her 3rd girl in 3 years ( ) was really sick because she became so engorged that she had to stop and was on all sorts of anitbiotics, etc.

It's not easy and God Bless every woman who can do it! More power to ya!!!!

Ok, my boobs and I are outta here.....

Re: BREASTFEEDING FORUM :)

Debbie,

WOW I never heard of the DH being so adamant about it. Usually its more the mom that is strong about opinions on BFing. I hope he wasnt making your poor sis feel horrible that it didnt work for her.
Its discouraging when youre trying your best and it doesnt work, AND you have your DH being a coach that you dont need just joking !

It really is challenging to adjust to, and I am not working. I give 'working moms' alot of credit, for pumping at work and keeping it going. God Bless them !!

PS-My boobs are feeling better, since you mentioned them ! LOL.
I nursed him again today after my 12 hour HEALING STRIKE, YAY !!! successfully and with little pain... WOO HOOO.

Re: BREASTFEEDING FORUM :)

Anna- You brought it ALL back to me!! Just wait till you find yourself on line at the supermarket feeling your boobs because it's almost feeding time! (Yes, I did get caught!! )

I was a total believer in breastfeeding!! (I still am) And my son latched on IMMEDIATLEY! But, unfortunatley he wasn't getting enough! (Even w/ my 40D's!!) So, I started doing both BF & formula. And then after 3 months it was just formula. He is a very healthy & happy baby (Thank-God)

A helpful hint for when your little cutie is sleeping & you need to feed flick the bottom of his feet. (The Nurse at LIJ taught me that one) He might not open his eyes but he will start feeding. GOOD LUCK!!

P.S.- I forgot to say CONGRATULATIONS!!!!
Boys rule!!

Re: BREASTFEEDING FORUM :)

Tracy - yes, boys do rule!!! Another proud Momma here!

Anna, I just had to chime in...I've been wanting to respond to this post ALL day, but haven't had time for a long, thoughtful post until now (12:17 am!)

I cannot believe how your descriptions brought it all back for me too. You sound like you are living through the EXACT experience that I had - except that I was never able to get Paul latched correctly.

My boobs were so sore and damaged (cracked and bleeding - OUCH!) that I had to exclusively pump for about 3-4 days. I was so UPSET! I really wanted the experience of BFing and I was very let down that it didn't work out.

My Mom stayed with us for the first 2 weeks, and she tried her best to support me, but unfortunately, she didn't have any firsthand experience. All she could do was hug me and encourage me when I'd get frustrated and weepy. I remember her saying that she didn't realize HOW MUCH it meant to me to BF. I really thought I could do it, but it wasn't meant to be for me. I ended up exclusively pumping for 4 weeks, and supplementing with formula. It turned out to be the best for Paul b/c I had a low milk supply, and with him being such a big baby (8 lbs., 11 oz.), he was sooo hungry!

Wooo, boy - you got me remembering the contracting uterus! OUCH - I remember it getting so bad at one point that I had to take a Vicodin!
I can't believe how quickly you really do forget the pain of it all!

I definitely plan to try the BFing thing again, if we are blessed with another baby someday. I think that I can do even better now that I have firsthand knowledge. I have accepted that my failure to BF Paul was not my fault, it just wasn't right for him.
It is very difficult to not beat yourself up - no matter what anyone says to you. There's so much pressure on new Moms, and with all the emotions that we go through, we just want to be sure we're doing what's best for our babies.

Anna, I applaud your BFing efforts, and I cheer you on from my little computer chair in Nassau!! I am sending you and little John Anthony big hugs!!



I'm glad you're home with your little angel...congratulations again! Get your rest, and we'll 'chat' some more in the coming days/weeks! I am so happy for you!

thanks anna-

all that you posted is what I read. I was wowed to find out that the milk does not simply come from the nipple but from the WHOLE area!!!
and they show various positions...tell u not to lean forward but to bring the baby to you....and how to break their suction when it is time to alternate breasts. Another thing I didn't think of was that you had to burp the baby in between as well.
OH BOY! I will try - I really want to do this- esp csince I will need to go back to wrok- and I want to bond as much as I can.
Will pump when at work, freeze it and label it and then have a supply for my little one when they go to daycare. (maybe dad can feed in the middle of the night too- with the expressed milk)

Rob- mr Research- has found that the best pump is Medela- very high marks on epionions.com and various websites. we are looking at the one that looks like a bakc pack. It somes with its own batteries and cool pack.
I will need my boss to sign a job order so that they can put a lock on my office door. Can you imagine???? People here never knock and WAIT b4 entering an office...well they better learn.


Please keep us apprised of your progress...better to hear from someone going thru the stages...

Re: thanks anna-

Thank you so much for sharing your experience!!! This is so rarely talking about, and sooo important.

Here is a great web site for some more information from a 'Bad Ass Breastfeeding Babe':
http://members.tripod.com/b.mayhew/index.htm

Re: thanks anna-

I'm facinated by this thread. I have mixed feelings on the breastfeeding thing - even before I knew how difficult it was. I feel like its something I want to do, but in reality, I might not want to do it. Does that make sense?

Its like I want to want to do it, but I'm not sure its for me. I guess I can give it a try and see how it works out.

Recently a friend of mine gave birth and she was a mess for the first few weeks and then once she stopped trying to breastfeed, she really had the opportunity to enjoy her baby and enjoy being a mom (baby was premie and wasn't gaining weight so doc suggested switching to formula). On the other hand, Al's sisters are huge proponents of breastfeedling. One of the sisters' babies wouldn't latch on so she exclusively pumped, but the other had no problems and swears by it.

Whats the advantage of continuing to pump, if you're not actually feeding from the breast? I know the first few weeks that the breast milk is very important...but after that, isn't the formula as good? I wasn't breastfed and I turned out alright...

And, why would you wake up the baby to feed? Is it because your breasts are engorged - why not pump?

I'm no where near baby land yet, but I'm learning for future reference...

Re: thanks anna-

Just wanted to chime in even though I am not a Mom yet (hopefully in early 2004). I think BF is wonderful and I plan on trying BUT I just hate to hear Moms feel like failures when it doesn't work out or proves to not be the right decision for them. I hated when Claud was so sad and upset when it wasn't working out for her. So please try to remember we are all human and it is okay NOT to BF if it isn't working out for you or the baby. Just try to be the best Mommy you can be and give lots of kisses

For LisaT...in response to your Q's...

Lisa, I can completely relate to not being sure if BF is for you. I remember feeling that way even as I was physically trying to feed Paul. It's not an easy thing to do, and can be looked at as a huge sacrifice made by the Mom. Your body is not your own in a way. Granted, there are so many wonderful bonding reasons and health reasons for BFing, but it is a HUGE committment to make.

To answer some of your questions...the advantages to pumping and not actually feeding is that you can get some of 'yourself' back. You can pump when you're full, and bottle feed when the baby is awake or hungry. In a way, you have more control over the baby's feeding schedule, especially if you are blessed with an over-supply of milk and can store some in the fridge/freezer so that dear 'ole Dad can do a feeding and you can take an extra long shower (or read a book or nap or call a friend).

You are right that there's no solid evidence that BFing provides any significant benefits beyond the first few weeks. Some doctors say that beyond that time, it's really just the closeness to Mom's skin and the warmth of her body that makes the child thrive so well. But, there are other theories too. You should start reading up on this now, if you really want to consider BFing.

The reason to wake the baby is simply to feed him/her. The importance is that when they are very little, they can sleep for hours. But, it's important that they latch on and feed in order to nourish them AND to increase the demand on your boobs, which triggers your supply and tells your body to continue making milk. So the doctors advise Moms to wake their children every 2-3 hours. This is especially critical in the first 72 hours after delivery, when the milk hasn't 'come in' yet, but the need to signal a demand is critical otherwise, you can end up with a low supply (happened to me), and not be able to recover -> which means you will have to supplement with formula earlier and more than you might want.

There are different schools of thought on the 'waking up' topic too. I have a very good friend from CA who SWEARS that you NEVER wake a sleeping baby. She believes that a baby will let you know when they are hungry simply by natural instinct. She also believes that letting them sleep when they are very little fosters better sleeping habits, and helps them start sleeping through the night much earlier. BTW, her theories are tested - she is the proud mother of 3, and all of her babies slept through the night starting at 5-6 weeks. Just something to think about and read more about!

Hope I helped to answer your questions!

Re: For LisaT...in response to your Q's...

Anna
once again you amaze me--this is a great thread--I was not a breast fed baby and no one in my family really BF-- so when my DH SIL tried with their first I was amazed when i found out that my DH 'expected' me to when we have kids--so fast forward-- it didnt work for SIL--she had 2nd kids in May and she decided to not even try-- well we are going off the pill in Jan --hoping for a 2004 baby(god willing) and the BF conversation has come up-- I am leaning more towards trying then I ever had before--although question Anna after your C section where you aware enough? I had the honor of being there when my twin nieces were born and my SIL couldnt even stay awake(C sect) afterwards--she didnt feel confident holding the babies because she wasn't aware enough--so she didnt try BF the first day and then when she did it wouldnt work and she couldnt continue it anymore--
so after all this rambling I just wanted to say thanks because this info has def shed some light for me--
Laura
PS- I need more days off so that I can actually respond to all the great threads on here!!!

Re: For LisaT...in response to your Q's...

Some interesting discussion going on..
I'll chime in to the best of my knowledge...

As far as...
Whats the advantage of continuing to pump, if you're not actually feeding from the breast?
The advantage is that the baby is still getting your breastmilk. Also as far as WHEN is a good amount of time to BF, everything I read says ONE YEAR is the most beneficial. It even says weaning is easier after one year, and will be more difficult in less than one year. My initial goal was one year, then the other night, in PAIN, I 'decided' 6months, but I will play it by ear and see how I feel how it goes on.
The past 2 days were NO PAIN, yet yesterday he had a little growth spurt and wanted to eat every hour and a half !! I was like 'give mommy a break !!' So its definately something that takes dedication and time. and had I not been home I would have had to pump and leave the milk in bottles. This is all new to me, and what I can say now (AGAIN) is that I COMMEND those of you that have BF and worked full time ! I have also been told that these first few weeks are the hurdle to get over and after that it gets MUCH easier, since your body adapts to the baby's feeding schedule. For instance last nite, he slept for 4 hours and then for 3 1/2 (we were happy to get that rest !! ) So even though I was engorged, I'm assumung my body is 'taking that into account' as creates a pattern of sleep and feedings...

I was not BF either as a baby, and I think I turned out pretty OK ! I do give all moms credit for trying, even if it doesnt work. And if you dont plan to try at all, thats fine too. Whatever works best for you, is all that matters.

As far as the C-section, The first few hours I was still numb and lying down so I really couldnt even hold him, they just placed him by my face. and that first nite I told them to go ahead and give him formula because I was SOOO exhausted. The next morning I began my venture. (he was born at 6:55pm). I was sore under my belly button and swollen (and still am). It was NOT easy to sit or stand, I had to walk slow, but with 'small steps' I did little by little that day and tried to get myself moving. Even adjusting his little body required my stomach muscles (its amazing how much we need our stomach muscles and dont realize it till theyre out of commission!!!) so just adjusting him, I felt pulls and pains and stings... I tried not to take percoset (pain med) too often so I wouldnt become addicted to it. We were allowed every 3 hours and I took it maybe 2-3 times a day.. So its challenging after a C-section, but its worth a try if you really want to try...


PHYL-note about the medela pump. My sis had mentioned getting it cheaper online. I'll find out the website for you.

MOMS TO BE - prepare yourself a FEEDING CHART.
(a little spreadsheet !) I found one in the free magazines we got, and it has become my BIBLE. Its basically TIME, and MINUTES ON EACH BREAST (that baby feeds) or if youre feeding formula, I guess you would put OUNCES. Its amazing to begin to see the trend in their eating habits and how they have ups and downs in sleep times, etc. Also, in the hospital every time a nurse came by to 'check up' (and they come by ALOT !!!) they would ask when was the last time baby ate, how much, and they would put it on their charts... so thats something that will help you in the hospital as well as when you get home....

...Thats all folks !!

Re: For LisaT...in response to your Q's...

Anna- I had a c-section as well & my Fi CONSTANTLY brings up how he got to hold our son for the first 45 min of his life!! He can be a stinker. I just add that I have a scar to prove how much I love my son!! By the way after 14 months the scar is NOW very light! Almost looks like a stretch mark! (almost)

Re: For LisaT...in response to your Q's...

Tracy - how long does it take to feel like 'myself' again ??
I feel like my organs in there are swollen and cant find their place ! LOL. when I walk or lay on my side, I feel pain, when I walk, I hold my belly, I heard thats what everyone does, feels like its gonna fall out ! LOL !!

That's right ! thats our badge of MOMMY strength !

By the way, I just heard that if youve had a c-section, you can only have 3 kids ? Is this true ?
Then I also read that 4 is ok ? (that is, if they are all c-sections, if you have a ******l afterwards, its totally different)... Kinda makes me sad, thinking I'm 'limited', even tho 3 is plenty, and I'll be happy with whatever God blesses me with, I hate to think I can only have a certain amount !

Re: For LisaT...in response to your Q's...

My friend is PG w/ her FIFTH! She's had all c's and her Dr. is ok w/ it.

My sister had 3 and she could have had a 4th (if they wanted to ), but, no amount of coaxing from 'Aunt Kathi' would do it!


Cute story: I was just talking to my sister this morning about having her house repainted and I told her she should add a splash of color to the walls to 'brighten up her life' and she said, 'I have my kids'...(they're 10, 12 & 14). So sweet!!

Anna

I'm not going to lie it did take a while before I didn't feel like I was tearing something when I moved around, a few months.
You are limited if you have all c-sections. My BF had 4 & her recovery took a while. You have to realize that the are reopening scar tissue. (The thought of it grosses me ) I asked my Doctor if I get blessed wih more children can I do it naturally & he said yes. (Patrick went breech on me so I had to have a c-section)

Have you posted any photo of your son??