Bridal Luncheon Optional????

I will be paying for my BM's to get a manicure & Pedicure and we are paying for the rehersal dinner. I've also bought 'thank you' gifts for them, however two out of the three girls have been completely useless and have not helped me with anything, My FMI and I have pretty much done everything ourselves and I feel that I'm tired of spending $ on people who really haven't done much to deserve so many freebe's. Do I have to treat them for lunch too? I was going to give them their gifts at the rehersal dinner so why take them out to eat earlier that day when I really don't have much to thank them for (with the exception of one). What would you girls do????

Re: Bridal Luncheon Optional????

My bridal party was great, however I did not do a luncheon. We gave the gifts at the Rehearsal dinner, which was 2 nights before the wedding.

Re: Bridal Luncheon Optional????

I don't know how 'formal' you feel that you need to be. Personally, I'd say if BM didn't perform the traditional / 'formal' responsibilities that go with thier role, then why should they get all of the traditional benefits.

I've been a BM at a bunch of weddings where there was no bridesmaids luncheon, and I never missed it. In fact, I never knew about this tradition until I started planning my own wedding. I think the luncheon is a super-formal thing that can be dropped for many reasons -- especially if the BMs were unsupportive.

I love the 3 members of my bridal party to death -- 2 of whom live far away (one of them lives in Germany, the other lives in Alabama) so we'll probably end up going to a restaurant to hang out before the wedding. Knowing them of course, they probably won't let me pick up the tab even if I wanted to!

Re: Bridal Luncheon Optional????

personally, i think a bridal luncheon is unnecessary. you have the rehearsal dinner so that is a more than appropriate time to give your BMs their gifts. i dont think bridal luncheons are even 'expected' these days (but they are very nice additions if you have the time, money, and desire!)
-michele

Re: Bridal Luncheon Optional????

You can make it less formal. I'm outta cash so the girls and I are going to head to the pizza place right before we get our nails done. We haven't been all together in SO long! It will be fun to catch up and nothing neats pizza!

Re: Bridal Luncheon Optional????

I did not do a luncheon for my bridal party. However, it was not b/c I didn't want to. It was b/c I lived in California during the engagement period, and I had very limited time in NY to plan an extra event, such as a luncheon. I gave my party their gifts at the rehearsal dinner, which was 2 days before the wedding.

Re: Bridal Luncheon Optional????

Definitely optional.

Although I don't think a rehearsal dinner and bridesmaid luncheon serve the same purpose. The rehearsal dinner is in your honor (the couples) but the luncheon is in theirs.

If your BMs have been useless - they don't deserve a special lunch in their honor.

Re: Bridal Luncheon Optional????

I agree with Sonic.

It sounds like you're doing more than enough for them, so no need for the luncheon.

Re: Bridal Luncheon Optional????

Not mandatory. I am doing a bridal tea but that is because I want to and most of my BMs have been wonderful.
In your case, I wouldn't do that.

Re: Bridal Luncheon Optional????

I know that this is a little bit off the topic, but what are bridesmaids traditionally suppossed or expected to do? I have not asked them to help in anyway with the planning. I think that they are helping my mom with my surprise shower and they mentioned that they are going to plan my bachelorette party. But asides from that I have not expected them nor asked them to do anything else.
Just curious?
Thanks