BRIDAL PARTY DRAMA!

MY FH JUST DECIDED NOT TO PUT ONE OF MY BROTHERS ON HIS SIDE OF THE BRIDAL PARTY...BUT MY OTHER BROTHER IS IN IT..I ALSO HAVE HIS SISTER ON MY SIDE.....HOW DO YOU BRAKE THE NEWS TO THE ONE WHOS NOT IN IT? I FELL BAD

SINCE SO MANY OF YOU WANT TO KNOW THE FULL STORY...I PUT IT A FEW POSTS DOWN!

oooh...thats a hard one!
Are you having readings during your ceremony? If you are, have him do a reading, that is the only thing I can think of that would include him...sorry not much help...

I cant believe someone else is up this late!!!

Hey I'm up late too
I would talk to FH and see why he doesn't want your one brother in the wedding party...It is going to be tricky if you have the rest of your family and not him in the wedding. I agree about the reader idea...or you could have him walk your mother down the aisle and make a big deal of that. That might make him feel special too. Good luck

why sont he put your other brother in it??/

FH and his bro were in their sis wedding ....but they were in 'her ' side of the pasrty..but stood with the guys
if that makes any sense?

I had the same dilemma. I have 3 brothers and FH is close to one of them so he only chose one. I have had many fights about this with him. I have decided to have my other 2 brothers be ushers (still wear tuxes and have bouts) and hand out programs and petal cones. I know how you feel, trust me...it's hard and I was so mad at FH for a while..but got over it.

I had the EXACT same dilemma as you. I have three brothers (one who couldnt be in the party as he's in the marines) and FH asked one bro, not the other.

I didn't say anything until I realized it bothered me a lot...then I just asked him to please make my other brother a groomsmen. He had no problem with it, but wished I had expressed it sooner..that was completely my fault..it could have saved a lot of aggravation

I just felt in the end, having the other brother do a reading or something wasn't as special and couldn't replace him being in the wedding party. Your brother will be in your life FOREVER while many of the other guys may not (groomsmen that is). That is how i felt..

I understand about how your feeling when part of your family especially your siblings don't involve as your bridal party. But I think you can't involve everyone in your family in the bridal party. Maybe she/he doesn't feel comfortable or thinks that his/her friends is more important.
Like in my case, I came from big family and they don't live in nyc. and my FH doesn't really close to them, he just met them once or twice , so he said he prefer someone who really close to him as his bridal party.
First I felt uncomfortable, but I understand his feeling though. Then I arrange them ( my siblings) as the reader and usher. Everyone's happy

I have 2 brothers.....and only one is in it.

No hard feelings though...another usher would equal another bridesmaid, and I think I have enough...

ETA: I did feel really, really bad about not asking my cousin, so I asked her to do a reading, she was more than thrilled. I made it special; put a nice poem in a pretty picture frame and gave it to her at my engagement party.....maybe you can have your other brother play a different important role such as a reading.......

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Posted by dleeny

yikes! why did your FH do that? IMO, you have them both in the BP or none.

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I have to agree. I think that for the sake of family harmony they should all be asked to participate or there will be hard feelings. JMO.

I can understand why you are upset. It is hard to pick one over another. To me, its all or nothing.

I chose nothing. I avoided this drama completely (or so I thought at the time) by not having my sisters and sister-in-law and their spouses OR FH's sisters in my BP. I chose close friends and children. My side was grateful - they did not want to wear bridesmaid dresses. His sisters were upset. Guess what, they had to deal with it because I wasn't changing my mind.

I hope it gets easier for you. I wish I had some sort of advice to help.

In all honesty, I think your FH (and maybe you a little too) is completely wrong.

My brother and FH's sister are both in our BP and if we had other siblings, they would be in it too, and not because FH or I get along with the others siblings, but because they are OUR siblings!!

My brother is in my BP because I want him there not because FH does, and even if they didn't get along or weren't close, he would still be in it. My brother is there to support me, as his sister. And I don't think that it means you have to add another BM, it's fine to be uneven, our BP is.

And if you want, have your brothers walk on your side....

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Posted by curliegirl

In all honesty, I think your FH (and maybe you a little too) is completely wrong.

My brother and FH's sister are both in our BP and if we had other siblings, they would be in it too, and not because FH or I get along with the others siblings, but because they are OUR siblings!!

My brother is in my BP because I want him there not because FH does, and even if they didn't get along or weren't close, he would still be in it. My brother is there to support me, as his sister. And I don't think that it means you have to add another BM, it's fine to be uneven, our BP is.

And if you want, have your brothers walk on your side....

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I agree completely

IN RESPONSE TO ALL OF THE FEEDBACK I GOT HERES THE STORY...SHORT VERSION...
MY FH AND MY BROTHER WERE DOING THIS BUSINESS DEAL AND I TOLD MY FH NOT TO GET INVOLVED BUT HE DID AND HE GOT HIHS FATHER MY FUTURE FATHER IN LAW IN ON IT TO...SO THHEN IT WAS BETWEEN MY FFIL AND MY BRO...SOMETHING DIDN'T GO RIGHT MY BRO DIDN;T LIKE WHAT HE WAS HEARING FROM MY FFIL SO HE CALLED MY FH.....THEY HAD IT OUT ON THE PHONE AND MY FH HELD IT IN UNTIL MY BRO REALLY GAVE IT TO HIM...MY BRO WAS IN THE WRONG...AND KNOW MY FH IS PISSED OFF COMPLETEY....MY BRO SAID SOME REMARKS ABOUT HIS FATHER..SAYING'WHO DOES HE THINK HES F---ING WITH AND WHO DOES HE THINK HE IS:(BRO IS SAYING THIS ABOUT MY FH'S DAD)....SO NOW MY FH DOESN'T WANT ANYTHING TO DO WITH HIM AND HE SAYD HES DEAD IN HIS EYES AND BLAH B;AH BLAH ..YOU COULD JUST IMAGINE WHAT I HEARD...I SPOKE TO MY BRO AND IT WAS THE SAME THING..AS IF NOTHING HAPPENED..NO REMORSE....I SPOKE TO MY MOM..SHE HAD THE NERVE TO SAY THAT MY FH WAS 'CHANGING'/....MY MOTHER WOULD NEVER GO AGAINST HER SON..ITS HER OWN BLOOD AS SHE SAYS...(LIKE IM NOT!)...DRAMA FROM HELL...FH DOESN'T WANT BRO IN HE HOUSE, HE SAID IF HE GOES TO THE ENGAGEMNT PARTY HE WON;T ACKNOWLEDGE HIM AND ALL THAT STUFF...IM TORN..MY MOH WHO IS ALSO MY BEST FRIEND SAID THIS IS MY FUTURE AND MY BRO HAS TO RESPECT THAT..SO BASICALLY THATS THE STORY IN SHORT..YOU HAVE TO UNDERSTAND MY FAMILY IS VERY CLOSE AND MY BRO IS KNOWN TO DO **** LIKE THIS..ITS NOT STRANGE ...WE KIND OF ACCPET IT...I GUESS?....HES BEEN THROUGH A LOT IN HIS LIFE AND I JUST DON;T THINK I CAN TAKE ANYMORE...SO THATS IT...IM SCREWED....