Bridal Party Vent

So my sister calls me yesterday and tells me that don't expect too much from the bridal shower. She said they will ONLY spend either $200 or $100 in TOTAL on everything. There's 10 of them so you do the math. (either $10/pp or $20/pp) - can you say CHEAP!

If they can't afford it might as well don't do anything...I know the ecomony isn't doing well. Its not mandatory to have one. They could have came up to us and said they can't do it. We would be okay with that.

My sister and my FH's best man had receipes/menus/food ideas planned out but it seems like it's too difficult for everyone so they opted for to just pick up store bought burgers and hot dogs from BJs.

She wanted to fore-warn me that will happen. I was in tears yesterday. I asked her about how many people will be attending-about 20...

I'm thinking WTH??? Are they even thinking?

If they are going to do this, then there's no respect whatsoever and they might as well just CANCEL the whole goddam event and the bacherlorette party as well.

I tried to speak to one of my MOH's yesterday (I have two) but she said there was nothing wrong. I didn't want to mention what my sister told me. But what am I to do?

I mean my sister was pretty upset and she knows me pretty well she was going to go all out on the food.

I already know the date and the place they will be having it at my friend's house so that already saved them tons of $$$.

Is it me or is it people aren't love with the idea of your wedding but when its their turn they will feel the same way and say that Oh crap I screwed up C&R's wedding plans...

I have no positive thoughts about this...

At this point I just want to run away and elope and head straight to the honeymoon and forget about EVERYONE!

thanks for reading...

edit to add more...

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Posted by IrinaBNY

Maybe they're just saying that to throw you off so you're super surprised when you see it?

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I don't think my sister will screw with my head like that.

thats fkn rude if they serve hot dogs.

pasta is cheaper and is more presentable that a fkn weiner



they should be embarassed. sorry youre going through all this. maybe you can help them out with ideas and inexpensive recipes?

awwwwww I'm sorry. Maybe they're just doing this to throw you off. And if they're not, well that's just really, really rude. At least put a LITTLE effort into it. And there's 10 of them???? I'd flip. But don't worry, hopefully they're just fcuking with you and are planning a wonderful shower for you. Sorry you have to deal with this!

awww i'm so sorry to hear this.. i feel sad for you.

I agree withyour statement when its their turn they will feel differently and want it all..is there anyway you can tell your sister like hey can we have something a little nicer than burgers ? I mean seriously how much does a brunch someplace cost? i'm sure they could find something for like $40 p/p... and if they only invite 20 ppl and each bms give $100 thats plenty to foot the bill.. even if they still do it at someones house and cater it i'm sure they can figure out a better plan then a backyard bbq?

where is the rest of the money going to if they are having it at someones house and getting burgers??

maybe they are saving their $ on the shower so they can get you a nice present?!?!

i went to a shower at someones house once that was potluck. i think it turned out nice and the bride had a chance to spend time with all her girls

dont focus on the hoopla- focus on who is actually coming out!

i'm sorry but i don't see the big deal. i had a very small shower (13 people total) and that was perfectly fine by me.

BUT i do agree that your BP is rude for being so cheap and only wanting to chip in $20 each. Maybe you can speak wtih your sister and have her get $5 more per person to get slighlty nicer food?

we had sandwich meats (from BJs), and a cheese platter and shrimp from stop & shop. Oh, and my mom also made a box of tortellini. It was plenty of food and not too pricey.

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Posted by Ncarlo

awww i'm so sorry to hear this.. i feel sad for you.

I agree withyour statement when its their turn they will feel differently and want it all..is there anyway you can tell your sister like hey can we have something a little nicer than burgers ? I mean seriously how much does a brunch someplace cost? i'm sure they could find something for like $40 p/p... and if they only invite 20 ppl and each bms give $100 thats plenty to foot the bill.. even if they still do it at someones house and cater it i'm sure they can figure out a better plan then a backyard bbq?

where is the rest of the money going to if they are having it at someones house and getting burgers??

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Well since we're one of the bunch to get married first - they don't know what to do and so we're the guinea pigs She suggested to them other items like steak (she's a talented cook - she planned on pulling on the stops for this but they felt it was too much trouble). Lol my sister said decorations and games - that's where the rest of the $$$ is going. This totally *****.

Awwww. I'm so sorry. I feel the same way at times.

Everyone wants to keep the cost down, which I totally understand, but really? It's my bridal shower. YOU GOT ONE... Where's mine????????????

They don't realize that we're spending so much money on the wedding that we need to make some of it back...

I hate to say that it's all about gifts and money, but I don't think that the planners really understand that 20 ppl is NOT a shower... at a friend's house with hotdogs...

UNLESS that's what you want............

(BTW, my mom keeps telling me all about how much money my shower is going to be, what my BMs are wanting to pay... etc.... it's like, if you need me to step in somewhere, fine, but if not, I don't need to know this part now................)

SO SORRY!!!!!!!!!!!

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Posted by AdriandSteve

If this is true, I'd be happy that they are throwing anything at all. It may not be a larger more extravagant thing but if it is all that they can afford then I'd just appreciate the trouble they went to.

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I honestly think they are just being cheap. If this is the case just store bought hamburgers and hot dogs at a friend's house...we'll be so embarrassed for whoever is coming. It would be pretty lame...

I know in the end its the thought that counts but my sister is telling me they don't really give a crap and they are just simply selfish...

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Posted by grkbarbie

thats fkn rude if they serve hot dogs.

pasta is cheaper and is more presentable that a fkn weiner



they should be embarassed. sorry youre going through all this. maybe you can help them out with ideas and inexpensive recipes?

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pasta is too difficult for the unskilled cooks/chefs to make...

hot dogs and hamburgers you just place on the grill

i think they just dont want to bother with it.

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Posted by Soon2BMrsAlini

awwwwww I'm sorry. Maybe they're just doing this to throw you off. And if they're not, well that's just really, really rude. At least put a LITTLE effort into it. And there's 10 of them???? I'd flip. But don't worry, hopefully they're just fcuking with you and are planning a wonderful shower for you. Sorry you have to deal with this!

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i really hope they're just screwing with my head but i don't think she would do that to me. she's pretty straight forward and will speak her mind.

Ok, so I feel like a b!tch after reading everyone else's response....

I just think that if the case is money, then maybe she shouldn't KNOW about the details......

I just don't think the bride needs to know all the issues that are going on and how much money that people are giving or contributing or whatever.... not at this point anyway... maybe after.........

I just know that I felt terrible and greedy and selfish and everything when I heard the money details of the shower......

I'm not saying that everyone has to take out a loan to fund the shower, but do what you can do and don't tell the bride............................

idk jmo

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Posted by AwaitingAugust

i'm sorry but i don't see the big deal. i had a very small shower (13 people total) and that was perfectly fine by me.

BUT i do agree that your BP is rude for being so cheap and only wanting to chip in $20 each. Maybe you can speak wtih your sister and have her get $5 more per person to get slighlty nicer food?

we had sandwich meats (from BJs), and a cheese platter and shrimp from stop & shop. Oh, and my mom also made a box of tortellini. It was plenty of food and not too pricey.

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I mean we didn't want anything crazy expensive, we just wanted them to do something from their heart and something they will be proud of. But at this rate it's like they've given up...

If I show up next week and this is what's going to happen forget about the gifts we bought them and the rehearsal dinner. I mean we're already spending a **** load of money...they just don't understand unless it happens to them...

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Posted by joctorre

Ok, so I feel like a b!tch after reading everyone else's response....

I just think that if the case is money, then maybe she shouldn't KNOW about the details......

I just don't think the bride needs to know all the issues that are going on and how much money that people are giving or contributing or whatever.... not at this point anyway... maybe after.........

I just know that I felt terrible and greedy and selfish and everything when I heard the money details of the shower......

I'm not saying that everyone has to take out a loan to fund the shower, but do what you can do and don't tell the bride............................

idk jmo

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I mean if you're part of a wedding be expected to spend $$$...And I think they are still coming to that conclusion but refusing to accept it.
I don't want people taking out a loan but if you can't afford to plan the shower don't do it at all. I mean is it really that hard to chip in $50 bucks - you can bring lunch from home instead of buying that $15 lunch?

You know?

2011 crashing!!!

I think there's a HUGE difference between having a really nice BBQ shower at someone's house and being like ehh...I don't wanna spend any $ and I don't wanna bother planning. hot dogs and burgers are easy right?

I throw BBQs all the time and you can make them really nice. Its the details but it seems like they're half azzing it and that's not right.

don't worry about anyone else though...they'll know its the BP that did it and not you.

Just show up, say thank you and when its their turn, they'll know they're SCREWED!

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Posted by allornil

2011 crashing!!!

I think there's a HUGE difference between having a really nice BBQ shower at someone's house and being like ehh...I don't wanna spend any $ and I don't wanna bother planning. hot dogs and burgers are easy right?

I throw BBQs all the time and you can make them really nice. Its the details but it seems like they're half azzing it and that's not right.

don't worry about anyone else though...they'll know its the BP that did it and not you.

Just show up, say thank you and when its their turn, they'll know they're SCREWED!

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Good Point... ITA