Bridal Shower ?

Original post by sportif7

Sep 22, 2011 09:28 PM

who generally flits the bill? is it a shared cost btw bridesmaids? is it soley on the MOH? is it expected that the brides mother will contribute?

as a MOH, can i expect that all the other bridesmaids, who are grown (some married with children) women, will be aware that they need to contribute to this party?

sportif7 Posted: Sep 24, 2011 03:17 PM

Re: Bridal Shower ?

agreed...but what do u do when the bride has already flat out said this isn't something my mother can pay for...i mean her mother never indicated that to me when i mentioned helping her plan it...so i dunno if thats the bride speaking from her own thoughts or a relay from mom to bride to me...and then the bridal party has 3 older women who are married with kids that are the bride's fiance's sisters...i really don't need them to talk about it with each other or the groom either and have it make its way back to bride if she has it set in her head this is ALL me...i'm so freaked out!!!

IrishAli Posted: Sep 24, 2011 03:43 PM

Re: Bridal Shower ?

Well, if you ladies in the party pool money and plan well, it won't be to pricey. We had a brunch with unlimited mimosas and a private room and it cost like $550 for about 25 ladies. I met with the restaurant and chose a menu with three brunch options. They printed individual menus, always had mimosas filled, and they included coffee, bread baskets, and dessert. Instead of individual desserts, they made and awesome carrot cake and wrote on it. We did invites through Vistaprint for about $25 and did one game, with a prize of Thin Mints ($3 a box), and I made my own favors and it cost about $20 for them all.

I order bulk loaves of soap and cut them, wrapped them, and ordered Vistaprint stickers that said 'From Ali's Shower to Yours'. The soap came from 'The Soap Guy'. I ordered the loaves that we on sale that day.

It does not need to break the bank to be nice!

sportif7 Posted: Sep 25, 2011 10:19 AM

Re: Bridal Shower ?

wow thats amazing....where did u go? and that favor idea is adorable...im just hoping her invite list doesn't blow me outof the water...what you did is totally reasonable...the only things i could find so far for a lunch at a glorified pizza restaurant is about 17-21pp +tax and tip and if she has like 60 people, it's gonna be close to 1500 just for venue!

IrishAli Posted: Sep 25, 2011 10:24 AM

Re: Bridal Shower ?

Well, I was living in DC at the time, so it worked out! I went to a place that has a fixed brunch option on the weekend and asked them to give us a discount in a private room since there would be a lot. We invited 45, but had 25 since there was traveling for a lot of my family and they just sent gifts.

You do not need to do a fancy plated thing if it is going to break the bank. You can do something at a house and just get catered food. You can do a brunch which will cost less.

IrishAli Posted: Sep 25, 2011 10:25 AM

Re: Bridal Shower ?

Oh and we got them to give this to us at $18 pp including tax and tip! But I had to ask

sportif7 Posted: Sep 25, 2011 10:33 AM

Re: Bridal Shower ?

thanks so much for the tips...much appreciated...hoping for the list within the next few days - keeping my fingers crossed

IrishAli Posted: Sep 25, 2011 10:48 AM

Re: Bridal Shower ?

Look at Black Forest Brew Haus in Farmingdale, Bonwitt Inn in Commack, Nocello's in Northport,

sportif7 Posted: Sep 26, 2011 05:15 PM

Re: Bridal Shower ?

yea- i will def look into those venues...my family keeps telling me that i should tell her we need to have another conversation and talk about the fact that this is not MY SOLE responsibility...but im so afraid to even bring it up again...i was going to wait for the list to see how hefty it was, but my family seems to think i should not delay...

mccoyrh Posted: Sep 26, 2011 08:31 PM

Re: Bridal Shower ?

Wow, she sounds like a very demanding bride. My bridesmaids are covering the cost of my bridal shower. My MOH, which happens to be my cousin didn't realize how much work and money goes into planning an event. The joke between us, is if she knew how much work she had to do, she would have just been a bridesmaid. I tell her 'too bad, suck it up; you wanted to be the MOH.'

Anyway, the ladies are splitting the cost between the three of them. My mom would help out with the cost if she needs to. Here's an excerpt from the Emily Post Wedding Etiquette book (fifth edition). Hope this helps.

Who hosts the shower?

Answer: The traditional hosts are friends of the bride, the couple, or their parents. Workplace showers hosted by coworkers are popular, as are showers for the couple hosted by mutual friends and attended by men as well as women. Showers for the groom (only) are a recent phenomenon. A couple never hosts a shower for themselves. Contrary to some misconceptions, bridesmaids are not required to host a shower. One of an attendant's duties is to 'host a shower' - if she chooses to do so.

sportif7 Posted: Sep 29, 2011 08:45 AM

Re: Bridal Shower ?

and thats from an etiquette book...obviously updated...

...still waiting on the list...

Royalgem21 Posted: Sep 29, 2011 09:08 AM

Re: Bridal Shower ?

Don't be afraid! Friends should be understanding! If not, are they really friends??

mara1017 Posted: Sep 29, 2011 09:09 AM

Re: Bridal Shower ?

Posted by sportif7

yea- i will def look into those venues...my family keeps telling me that i should tell her we need to have another conversation and talk about the fact that this is not MY SOLE responsibility...but im so afraid to even bring it up again...i was going to wait for the list to see how hefty it was, but my family seems to think i should not delay...

Unfortunately part of the responsibility of being in a wedding party is to plan the bridal shower. Sometimes you get lucky and the MOB will help out. You should talk to the bridesmaids since they are also should be helping. A great way to keep it less expensive is to have it a someone's house.