Bridal Shower

FH’s SIL was one of my BM’s and in October, we had a pretty bad fallen out. Needless to say, I threw her out of our wedding party. My FH & I do not speak to her at all for a few months now, and really have no intention on talking. FH’s mother, loovesss her daughter in law to no end and will fight anyone who tries to say or show how EVIL she is. Anyway, my MOH asked for my shower list and in doing so I asked FH’s mom to just go over her side to make sure it all looked good. 1- she told me to take off about 40% of their side and 2- she told me I need to extend an invitation to her DIL. WHAT??!!?? Today I told FH & he went nuts on his mother for daring to ask this of me. Now she says- she doesn’t know if she wants to come to my shower. My ? is…do I suck it up and send this evil woman an invitation or cut them both out?

BTW- bc of this argument in Oct- we lost our 2 RB's (these are her 2 son's) and his brother won't come to our wedding or be in it.

Bridal Shower

Sucks that you are going through this :(

Etiquette says if you are not inviting them to your wedding, they should not be invited to your shower.

Also, I am so stubborn, I would not want to give her the upperhand (FH SIL) to say NO.
You still would need to invite your FH mom and let her decide what to do.

Re: Bridal Shower

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Posted by sandr325

Sucks that you are going through this :(

Etiquette says if you are not inviting them to your wedding, they should not be invited to your shower.

Also, I am so stubborn, I would not want to give her the upperhand (FH SIL) to say NO.
You still would need to invite your FH mom and let her decide what to do.

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This totally sucks to be going through! Oh, you have no idea how stubborn I am as well and that's my whole thought process- I am NOT giving her the satisfaction. I'm just so lost!

Re: Bridal Shower

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Posted by sandr325

Sucks that you are going through this :(

Etiquette says if you are not inviting them to your wedding, they should not be invited to your shower.

Also, I am so stubborn, I would not want to give her the upperhand (FH SIL) to say NO.
You still would need to invite your FH mom and let her decide what to do.

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ITA with this. Send FMIL an invite and leave the evil one out. Leave it up to FMIL to make the decision and at that point you will see (as well as your FH) where you guys stand with her. Im stubborn like you and would NEVER invite the evil one...

Bridal Shower

Ok, it's settled then. FMIL gets an invite and evil lady shouldn't be involved & won't be.

Bridal Shower

would she even come if you invited her? maybe you be the bigger person here?

Re: Bridal Shower

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Posted by lauren1802

would she even come if you invited her? maybe you be the bigger person here?

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She would only say YES, to see what I got from everyone (she's an extremely nosy/jealous person) and how much my FMIL buys/gives me and it would annoy me to no end.

Re: Bridal Shower

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Posted by angelicd77

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Posted by sandr325

Sucks that you are going through this :(

Etiquette says if you are not inviting them to your wedding, they should not be invited to your shower.

Also, I am so stubborn, I would not want to give her the upperhand (FH SIL) to say NO.
You still would need to invite your FH mom and let her decide what to do.

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ITA with this. Send FMIL an invite and leave the evil one out. Leave it up to FMIL to make the decision and at that point you will see (as well as your FH) where you guys stand with her. Im stubborn like you and would NEVER invite the evil one...

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Exactly this! So sry u are going through this.

Bridal Shower

I'm sorry you are going thIs but it might be easier to bite the bullet and squash thr fight between families. It is sometimes easier to just be the better person. Or else then you are going to have issues with mil too. Hope it works out...

Re: Bridal Shower

I totally agree with the whole not inviting SIL to the shower but you don't want to start your married life off with your FMIL and you butting heads..

I say somehow try to smooth that part over

Bridal Shower

ps I'm sorry you are going through this.

Re: Bridal Shower

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Posted by Kristin31613

I'm sorry you are going thIs but it might be easier to bite the bullet and squash thr fight between families. It is sometimes easier to just be the better person. Or else then you are going to have issues with mil too. Hope it works out...

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I agree. When you marry someone, you also get their family. This may bite you in the butt later on. Hope it works out.

Bridal Shower

Don't invite the evil one !( haha I love that we hve a name for her)

Your bridal shower is a happy once in a lifetime occasion and it is NOT the forum for you and her to reconcile!

You have to invite Fmil and let her be the one to be petty and say she does tv want to come... Just go about your day lovig life and not showing an ounce of anger or regret. In other words, kill her w kindness

Re: Bridal Shower

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Posted by fdnybride163

Don't invite the evil one !( haha I love that we have a name for her)

Your bridal shower is a happy once in a lifetime occasion and it is NOT the forum for you and her to reconcile!

You have to invite Fmil and let her be the one to be petty and say she does tv want to come... Just go about your day lovig life and not showing an ounce of anger or regret. In other words, kill her w kindness

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I agree 2000% with everything you said!!! I tried to explain that this is MY shower, and not the time and she just got all angry- whatever!

Re: Bridal Shower

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Posted by GettingMarried13

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Posted by fdnybride163

Don't invite the evil one !( haha I love that we have a name for her)

Your bridal shower is a happy once in a lifetime occasion and it is NOT the forum for you and her to reconcile!

You have to invite Fmil and let her be the one to be petty and say she does tv want to come... Just go about your day lovig life and not showing an ounce of anger or regret. In other words, kill her w kindness

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I agree 2000% with everything you said!!! I tried to explain that this is MY shower, and not the time and she just got all angry- whatever!

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This will just make you be the bigger person and say I would love to have you there and enjoy my shower but if you don't want to come that's fine... And one day she will realize what an idiot she was and your FH should make sure to point it out to her that she has TWO daughter in laws now and it's best to not pick sides

Re: Bridal Shower

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Posted by fdnybride163

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Posted by GettingMarried13

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Posted by fdnybride163

Don't invite the evil one !( haha I love that we have a name for her)

Your bridal shower is a happy once in a lifetime occasion and it is NOT the forum for you and her to reconcile!

You have to invite Fmil and let her be the one to be petty and say she does tv want to come... Just go about your day lovig life and not showing an ounce of anger or regret. In other words, kill her w kindness

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I agree 2000% with everything you said!!! I tried to explain that this is MY shower, and not the time and she just got all angry- whatever!

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This will just make you be the bigger person and say I would love to have you there and enjoy my shower but if you don't want to come that's fine... And one day she will realize what an idiot she was and your FH should make sure to point it out to her that she has TWO daughter in laws now and it's best to not pick sides

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Can you be my wedding lawyer??? LOL

Bridal Shower

I would invite the FMIL and let her make her own decision. The evil one doesnt get an invite.This is your special day and you wont enjoy it if you are upset. Sorry you have to go through all of this but remember the people that truly love you guys will be there. If someone doesnt want to come to your wedding then that is their problem and they have to live with that regret. My FH family isnt coming because they dont like me. I feel bad for him because no one from hsi family supports him but we are still going to be together and have a great time and be surrounded by people who love us. His mother is going to have to live with the fact that she didnt go to her sons wedding and she can never get that back.

Bridal Shower

I agree with everyone else if you want to invite fmil out of etiquette I think you should but hopefully she wont show. Yoy shouldn't have anyone ruin your day.