The question of who pays for the bridal shower has become an issue among my bridesmaids. Every time I have been in a bridal party (4 times), the bridesmaids always hosted and paid for the shower. My FI's 3 sisters, all bridesmaids, claim they had no idea they would have to help foot the bill- they believe the mother of the bride should pay for the whole thing. I'm looking for input, please!!
My mother(parents ) paid for the food for my shower... it was at her house and my bridesmaids got balloons and decorations. They also bought me a gift. This was my gift from my mother. My mom did this to avoid the disater we had for my sister. I have a friend who is a MOH in her frineds wedding and she priced food.. it was really expensive. I think that your mom should talk to your bridesmaids and come to some sort of aggreement. after that you should stay out of it.. it is your shower...
are shared among the bridesmaids. But usually, because of the huge expense the mother can and usually helps. Although in my Italian family, showers are usually out at a restaurant or private party room, and the mother of the bride hosts the shower. My shower was paid for by my mom, but the girls helped her plan it!
My mother and sister (MOH) hosted my shower and paid for it as well, my future MIL also contributed. The rest of the bridal party was not asked to contribute.
I just had my shower two weeks ago. My Mom offered to help but my sister told her no. I had four bridesmaids and my sister (MOH) felt that it would not cost each girl that much. So all the bridesmaids chipped in and it was very nice in a restaurant. I was in my best friends wedding back in September (MOH), and it was only me and my sister in the wedding party, so her Mom offered to chip in with us as well. I think if you have a lot of girls it should be the girls honor to do that for you. I think if you have one or two and depending on the situation, the Mom can help but it should not be required or expected. Just my two cents! Good luck and like someone else just said, stay out of it. It should not be your concern, but I know how you feel. I was butting in too and I was concerned about the price and who was paying for what as well.
My mother-n-law is paying for the shower, since my parents are paying for the wedding. She wanted to do this for me. My bridesmaids helped but did put any money into it.
I was dragged into it, actually- it is my two sisters and best friend (MOH) vs. my FI's 3 sisters. I wanted no part of it, but I had no choice. Now I'm dreading the shower and all of the tension.
In my case, I have many bridesmaids; some at at-home moms, some work part-time and raise their kids, and some work full-time. I know that my Mom and Stepmom feel that it is too much to ask the girls to pay for a large family shower in a resturant. (I have about 40 people because of our large family and neither home can accomdate that many people) They will be co-hosting the shower, and I am sure that the girls will be doing the favors or cake or some of those things. BUT that is not proper etiquette to do it this way. Mothers are not supposed to host their daughter's shower.
However, I would find it very difficult to expect my bridemaids to be able to pay for an entire shower. Between the dress costs, shoes, etc... paying for the shower would be a lot.
It all depends on your circumstances. I stay out of the whole thing. I advise you to do the same. Let the Moms and the BMs talk and make the decisions. This is the one thing that you don't have to worry about.
My mother passed away and we are not having a bridal party, so my sister is paying for and hosting the shower. She told me that my best friends did offer to help. It's fairly small, less than 25 women, so the expense is not as much.
I was a MOH twice last year and i met with each BM got a feel for what they could afford and planned the party accordingly.. it is not typical for the mother to plan the shower..
I was a BM in one wedding where the BM's had to pay the whole bill. The brides mother did not chip in one penny and she invited everyone she knew to boot (but that's another story). I have also been in two weddings where the brides mom paid for the resturaunt (which is really the most expensive part) and the girls paid for the decorations and favors. Although I preferred it this way I did realize that there was a possibilty that as I BM I would have to chip in with the other BM to pay for the shower. I think when you except the responsibilty of being in a wedding party you have to plan for such costs.
I think if you accept to be in someone's bridal party, you should know that the bridal shower is your responsibility. You may get lucky and the mom or someone else may pay but it realy depends on the situation.
I have been financially lucky in that every bridal party that I have been a member of (about 4) the mother of the bride paid for the majority of the shower. Usually the bridesmaids bought a very nice and expensive gift from the registry, helped with the planning and organizing, and paid for decorations or invitations or favors or something like that. One we all chipped in $100 and gave the mom some money (it was a large and probably very costly shower).
That's my opinion!
the brides FAMILY (sister and mother) are not supposed to host the shower at all. It is poor taste, b/c it seems like they are illiciting gifts for the bride...
although many mothers (mine included) are paying for it...I guess etiquette isn't as strong...but some info you can tell your bms...
I have been in numerous bridal parties, and in a couple, we only paid for decorations and cake. For one, the mom gave us about $500, and we paid the rest, and for the others, the bridesmaids paid for the entire thing (as we get older, I notice this is the most common). I already told my bms (I have 9) that they are going to have to pay for it - my mom has NO money (father passed away), and will not be able to contribute. But I also explained that I know how expensive it can be, so whatever they want to do is fine with me. I hate to put it like this though, but I have done it for soooo many people, that I can't feel too guilty about the cost! It should help them that I have such a large bridal party though. And I will be providing the guest list, so it will include the people I know my mom wants there, without making the bridal party feel as if she is making demands, but not paying (I would have invited these people anyway).
Whenever I accept to be in someone's bridal party, I assume I will be paying for the shower nowadays.
my mom is paying mostly for mine, with the bridesmaids doing all the planning. When I was MOH, I paid about twice as much, the other BMs and MOB chipped in their share, grooms mom did not contribute.
