bridal shower dram

fdny3113 Posted: Jun 14, 2008 07:57 PM

bridal shower dram

Ok is it just me, or do all girls in the bridal party split the cost fir the shower?I heard that none of the girls are helping my moh w/ the cost of the shower. And it REALLY upsets me

npwedding Posted: Jun 14, 2008 08:00 PM

Re: bridal shower dram

As far as I know, the bridal party is supposed to pay for the whole thing and it's nice if the mom even decides to contribute!! I don't blame you for being upset.

jeanyus27 Posted: Jun 14, 2008 08:01 PM

Re: bridal shower dram

that stinks! They should definitely chip in at least a little bit. Everyones financial situation is different, but i think if your asked to be in a bridal party (and your an adult) then you should expect to contribute to certain things. Even if its not that much, they should give what they can, or at least offer to help with some DIY things like the wishing well, or favors.

fdny3113 Posted: Jun 14, 2008 08:04 PM

Re: bridal shower dram

thats what i thought my mother and fmil are chipping in ALOT. but i fell like everyone should!!!

jeanyus27 Posted: Jun 14, 2008 08:18 PM

Re: bridal shower dram

Posted by fdny3113

thats what i thought my mother and fmil are chipping in ALOT. but i fell like everyone should!!!

my mom paid for pretty much the whole thing. I think its more common now that the mom's chip in the most. but like i said the rest of the girls should definitely chip in in some way. My two MOH (only had two girls in the BP total) both helped by doing the invitations, favors, decorations, games and prizes for the games.

mRm2008 Posted: Jun 14, 2008 08:32 PM

Re: bridal shower dram

IMO they should pitch in and help out with the costs. My Mom and Nana are paying for the majority of mine, but the girls are all responsible for contributing towards some part (decorations, favors, ect).

I really hope they come around for her

RisiLeigh Posted: Jun 14, 2008 08:44 PM

Re: bridal shower dram

I think it varies from situation to situation. I don't honestly know who is paying for what for my shower and I don't wanna know! The girls are adults and can work it out for themselves! Maybe my one BM is shelling out more purely b/c she makes more than all my other girls, including my MOH, but maybe that isn't the case. Did your MOH want to do something for your shower that the other girls clearly cannot afford?

debismom Posted: Jun 14, 2008 09:48 PM

Re: bridal shower dram

Melissa, I don't know what is proper, but I paid for everything. Mary MOB

DiamondPipa Posted: Jun 14, 2008 09:51 PM

Re: bridal shower dram

The Greek tradition is for the bride's mother to pay for the entire thing...my mom paid for everything

Gigi08 Posted: Jun 14, 2008 10:12 PM

Re: bridal shower dram

In my family, traditionally it is the mother who gives the bridal shower. My mother is a widow who does not work and she saved...she insisted on doing it herself because she was doing it for me.

I've been in bridal parties where I have had to contribute. In one case, for my friend, the brides mother was deceased and she did not have a sister. Her MOH (cousin) lived out of state, and I guess didn't know any better.

So it often depends on the situation.

klynneann Posted: Jun 14, 2008 10:41 PM

Re: bridal shower dram

I've been a bridesmaid 5 times and was never even asked to contribute to a bridal shower. Sometimes I helped set up or plan, but never gave anything other than my time. My mom is paying for mine and only expects my BMs to help with the planning if necessary. I just feel like BMs pay for so much already, they shouldn't be asked to contribute to this too. But that's just how I feel - nowadays, anything goes. Do whatever YOU want to do - it's ok.

DCLM726 Posted: Jun 15, 2008 12:45 AM

Re: bridal shower dram

Its funny that this thead came up because I am having the EXACT same problem with some of my girls who were ' surprised' that my mom was asking them from money towards the shower.

I know that all of the weddings that I was in the BP...I always contributed to the shower (and there were 5 of them).

Espo22 Posted: Jun 15, 2008 12:55 AM

Re: bridal shower dram

my mom pretty much paid for everything and nowadays i see it done alot...sometimes its alot for a bp...bridal showers are bigger now, more people and not small simple showers so ive been noticing alot of mothers taking on the responsibility. Sometimes the bp does chip in for it. There is no wrong or right, just whatever works for everyone

chrissybean77 Posted: Jun 15, 2008 01:12 AM

Re: bridal shower dram

Traditionally the MOB is not supposed to throw the shower since the bride's family is the one paying for the wedding. However, today obviously people do things differently. It really depends, but I don't think the BP should expect not to have to chip in at all. If the MOB or the MOH decide to pay for everything that is wonderful but that should not be expected. I have been in 8 bridal parties and never did I not have to contribute. In most of the showers the MOH paid the majority and twice the MOB paid the majority and the BP pitched in the rest . In one situation the MOB paid for the place and the BP took care of the rest. For my shower there was no way my Mom would be able to have afforded it on top of what she is already paying for the wedding. My MOH (sister) paid for all of it, but all of my BM's asked to contribute towards it. I think that if there is a financial burdern for some of your BMs perhaps consider doing a smaller shower or one in the home? Intimate showers in the home are some of the best ones I've been to and they are usually much more cost effective.

Tom and Mel Posted: Jun 15, 2008 05:20 PM

Re: bridal shower dram

My MOH offered to pay for the whole thing and just told the girls to get a gift from all of them. Now I hear they are not even calling her back. I figured my shower was the 1 thing I would not have to worry about or be involved in but I guess I was wrong. I want to be surprised for my shower but with drama that may not happen. I know it is hard to stay out of it but try because you have enough on your plate. maybe your mom could try to help her.

FutureMrsCarrieri Posted: Jun 15, 2008 05:21 PM

Re: bridal shower dram

Posted by fdny3113

Ok is it just me, or do all girls in the bridal party split the cost fir the shower?I heard that none of the girls are helping my moh w/ the cost of the shower. And it REALLY upsets me

The bridesmaids are supposed to split it with the MOH. Sometimes the bride's family chip in but if they don't, then it's all on the girls

Your MOH needs to say something to them

Mrs. V 2008 Posted: Jun 15, 2008 05:22 PM

Re: bridal shower dram

everyone should really chip in..my mother paid for the whole thing..some of the people in my bp are cheap as hell....they spent $30 on a shower gift!!!! and all they do is complain about money

MeaganAndJoeC Posted: Jun 15, 2008 05:46 PM

Re: bridal shower dram

one of my girld refused to chip in and my mom ending up paying for it all and there were 10 BMS.
So I think it all depends. Its annoying though !

oktom22 Posted: Jun 15, 2008 05:50 PM

Re: bridal shower dram

I think it should be split between the bridal party and MOB and MOG. They should definitely be all working together to throw the shower for you. How big is your bridal party? HAve you said anything to them?