Ok girls, I need some advice b/c I'm feeling stresssssed, as usual:
I do not want to be 'suprised' for my shower - so I was talkin to my mother (who I have an odd relationship w/) about possible restaurants, blah blah
She calls me a little while ago to ***** to me that she call my FMIL about making her a list for 'a small shower' and my FMIL told her she had atleast 50 ppl, plus a few friends...my mother was like 'huh' and decided to call me and *****.
Now, I understand my mother's point - 50ppl seems like A LOT - especially since my wedding will be about 200ppl
But, I HATE THAT MY MOM HAS TO CALL ME TO ***** AND MAKE ME FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE - I DONT WANT TO GET INVOLVED W/ THIS **** - THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE FOR ME...I SHOULD NOT HAVE TO DEAL...Ya know?
So, she's like 'I cant afford that many ppl...What am I going to do?' I sort of told her to call me later..but geez, I really dont want to friggin hear it
NE advice?
bluegreen08
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Re: Bridal Shower Dramaaaaaa....uh, sort of
do you have a sister or close family member that can stand in for you and keep you out of this?
AllyDrew1108
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Re: Bridal Shower Dramaaaaaa....uh, sort of
Can't you talk to your FMIL about pitching in to pay for it? Mine offered to help.
Also, if you are having a large wedding, doesn't that mean most of the women are then invited to the shower?
My MOH won't let me invite anyone who isn't invited to the wedding. In a way I hate that rule because there are some people whom I think would have fun at the shower, but would feel weird at the wedding, but whatever...
It's not nice of your mom to put you in the middle, but I'm sure you can all work this out!
iwannabmrsD
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Re: Bridal Shower Dramaaaaaa....uh, sort of
yep! tell mom to tell fmil to cut her list down.. end of story.
my fh had a list of 85 people he wanted me to give my MOH and mom to invite to my bridal shower.. my list only had 25 on it.. yeah figure that one out.. i simply told him.. my shower would be a more intimate affair and his second cousin's ex wife's half sister would NOT be invited.. now his list is down to 10.
def don't stress.. tell mom to handle it.. and if mom calls u to b*tch again.. tell her wait mom.. hold on.. i gotta call u back....i got the bubble guts.. then hang up real quick..
anneandchris
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Re: Bridal Shower Dramaaaaaa....uh, sort of
Is it possible that your FMIL offered or is intending on paying for her guests?
love2plan1
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Re: Bridal Shower Dramaaaaaa....uh, sort of
I agree, it puts you in awkward position but his mom will need to be told that the cap for the guest list is x and therefore she has x amount of spots
Miblove
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Re: Bridal Shower Dramaaaaaa....uh, sort of
Posted by bluegreen08
do you have a sister or close family member that can stand in for you and keep you out of this?
Not reallllly
drpepper318
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Re: Bridal Shower Dramaaaaaa....uh, sort of
Perhaps somebody needs to tell your FMIL that she can have that many people, but she's got to pay for them.
Miblove
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Re: Bridal Shower Dramaaaaaa....uh, sort of
Posted by blurgirlny
Can't you talk to your FMIL about pitching in to pay for it? Mine offered to help.
Also, if you are having a large wedding, doesn't that mean most of the women are then invited to the shower?
My MOH won't let me invite anyone who isn't invited to the wedding. In a way I hate that rule because there are some people whom I think would have fun at the shower, but would feel weird at the wedding, but whatever...
It's not nice of your mom to put you in the middle, but I'm sure you can all work this out!
Well, the only prob w/ asking FMIL to help pay is that she threw my FH and I an engagement party & my parents didnt offer any $ so I feel that it would be completely rude otherwise.
AND I WAS UNDER THE CONSIDERATION THAT NOT EVERYONE IS invited to the shower - just more close, immediate
?? Am I wrong??
Miblove
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Re: Bridal Shower Dramaaaaaa....uh, sort of
Posted by iwannabmrsD
yep! tell mom to tell fmil to cut her list down.. end of story.
my fh had a list of 85 people he wanted me to give my MOH and mom to invite to my bridal shower.. my list only had 25 on it.. yeah figure that one out.. i simply told him.. my shower would be a more intimate affair and his second cousin's ex wife's half sister would NOT be invited.. now his list is down to 10.
def don't stress.. tell mom to handle it.. and if mom calls u to b*tch again.. tell her wait mom.. hold on.. i gotta call u back....i got the bubble guts.. then hang up real quick..
Ok - so it's like the same situation - THANKS
MeaganAndJoeC
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Re: Bridal Shower Dramaaaaaa....uh, sort of
I had to tell my fmil that she had to cut down her list for the wedding. I know you don't want to be invloved and I do not balme you, but sometimes its best coming form you. This was it avoids a middle man and any chance words can be twisted in any which way.
Miblove
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Re: Bridal Shower Dramaaaaaa....uh, sort of
Posted by drpepper318
Perhaps somebody needs to tell your FMIL that she can have that many people, but she's got to pay for them.
Is it wrong for my mother to tell her a certain number of ppl? I just do NOT WANT any fighting/arguing/tension! ah
AllyDrew1108
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Re: Bridal Shower Dramaaaaaa....uh, sort of
Oh, in that case, eek!
She's gotta cut her list down. This is NOT your problem. You are not in charge of your own shower.
Sorry you're dealing w/this! ----------------------------- Well, the only prob w/ asking FMIL to help pay is that she threw my FH and I an engagement party & my parents didnt offer any $ so I feel that it would be completely rude otherwise.
AND I WAS UNDER THE CONSIDERATION THAT NOT EVERYONE IS invited to the shower - just more close, immediate
?? Am I wrong??
Miblove
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Re: Bridal Shower Dramaaaaaa....uh, sort of
Posted by blurgirlny
Oh, in that case, eek!
She's gotta cut her list down. This is NOT your problem. You are not in charge of your own shower.
Sorry you're dealing w/this! ----------------------------- Well, the only prob w/ asking FMIL to help pay is that she threw my FH and I an engagement party & my parents didnt offer any $ so I feel that it would be completely rude otherwise.
AND I WAS UNDER THE CONSIDERATION THAT NOT EVERYONE IS invited to the shower - just more close, immediate
?? Am I wrong??
So am I wrong in thinking that NOT everyone that will be invited to the wedding, will be invited to the shower?
Miblove
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Re: Bridal Shower Dramaaaaaa....uh, sort of
hellllllp
DiamondPipa
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Re: Bridal Shower Dramaaaaaa....uh, sort of
no no no....your mom should not tell your FMIL anything...neither should you! Your FH should deal with his family and you should deal with yours....this will keep all the tension off...tell FH to tell his mom in a nice way an excuse as to why HE doesn't want her to give a list of 50 people. I'm inviting everyone from my wedding (but only my friends, not FH's)
Teamhurldon
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Re: Bridal Shower Dramaaaaaa....uh, sort of
aw i hear ya, i had to basically plan my own, and it doesnt feel too fun
Skeeter
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Re: Bridal Shower Dramaaaaaa....uh, sort of
I am dealing with the same drama ...I had one of my bm ask me when is the shower again .. are you kidding
Miblove
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Re: Bridal Shower Dramaaaaaa....uh, sort of
Well, thankfully I do not have to plan it (as of yet)
I just HATE that my mother could NEVER do things on her own - or make me always feel guilty about something
It never fails - atleast I know where my 'issues' come from lol =(
hwolf812
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Re: Bridal Shower Dramaaaaaa....uh, sort of
Posted by drpepper318
Perhaps somebody needs to tell your FMIL that she can have that many people, but she's got to pay for them.
I agree. I love these FMIL's who say you need to invite 398293847 people but your mom can pay for it. It annoys me. If your FMIL cant cut the list down to something reasonable then she needs to pay for her people. End of story.
