Bridal Shower Help

I am very confused when it comes to who throws the Bridal Shower.

My girls are saying my mother is supposed to throw it for me ( my mother kind of refuses bc she really doesnt know any one but about 5 woman vs FHs 45) and my mother ( and many online websites) are saying that the MOH and BP are supposed to throw it for me.

I have been to a few different showers where either the mom is the sole host of the party and others where the mother had really nothing to do with it besides reciving some of the RSVPs.

What is the correct ettique when it comes to the shower... Please help!!!

TIA

..i thought the maid of honor does it.

my MOH (who is my sister) will 'host' my other sister will be helping her.

i wouldn't stress it, ask your MOH if she is willing (since you mom already said no)

I believe the BP assist her in this.

i just got invite from my friends MOH for her bridal shower this coming sunday.

Old school etiquette says that family members (i.e. Mother of the bride, sisters, etc.) should not give the shower because it is like the family is asking for gifts.

Now, I have never been to a shower that did not have family involved in throwing it. And I have planned or helped plan the showers for my sisters and cousins. I think nowadays, the Mother is usually involved, but the Bridal Party has the biggest role in planning the shower. It is tough, because it is a huuge financial undertaking.

Also, all the showers I have been involved in, the bridal party took care of all of the details, but the Mother of the bride foot the catering bill.

it all depends on the situation. I have contributed anywhere from $100-$400 towards a shower as a BM (not including the gift I purchased for the bride from myself). In some cases the mother contributed, in others it was just the BMs throwing it.

In my case, my mother does not want my BMs to worry about putting in money for anything because she wants to throw the shower for me (and my aunt's will probably chip in as well). She did say that they can take care of the 'fun stuff' like shower games and decorations and stuff like that but she is not expecting them to pay for the food or drinks. Though I did tell my mother than I did not want her to go crazy with my shower and that I would like it in the house so that is definitely going to cut the cost a lot for her.

It did use to be that the family wasn't supposed to throw the shower.

Now it can pretty much be anyone close to you. Mom, bridal party, friends, etc.

I think it can pretty much be anyone but you!

Good luck!

From my experience MOH starts the ball rolling with the plans asking entire bridal party for help. Someone is in charge of favors, invites, games, etc - everyone just pitches in. When it comes to who pays - it's usually MOB but things are changing. I went to one where the groom paid bc neither mother wanted to be involved and the BP didn't have the money, so he paid for it.

You should ask your MOH and BP. Tell them your mom doesn't want to throw the shower and if money is an issue, tell them to do it at one of their houses. Nobody says it has to be expensive to throw a party with good friends. Make a few trays of Ziti (Cheapest and easiest!) or It can even be a pot luck thing - anything... Remember the people who will be at your shower are people who love you and only want the best for you. Any party will be a great party!

HTH

I think it depends. The wedding I was currently in, the mother planned the whole thing, but I designed the invites, another BM found the favors... I did not contribute financially really except for the invites.

In my case my mother already told my MOH (my sister) that she wants to do everything! Apparently she's been thinking about this event for a while.

No guest will know who's throwing it anyways unless some one mentions it

I think it's pretty common for the MOB to be involved with the planning and throwing of the shower. It is the BP's gig, but the ones that I have been involved with the MOB paid for it.

In my case, my shower will be organized and thrown by my mom because I only have one bridesmaid and she lives on LI and I'm in AZ.

It's a mixed bag these days, but most often I think the Mom throws it and gets help from the BP.

I understand that she doesn't know most of the people who'd be attending, but the shower is for YOU and FH, not for them.... it's to shower you with gifts to help set up your home, it doesn't have to be anything super elaborate.

Do you have any sisters? I know I'm using my brother (who's more like my sister, makes sense to anyone who knows him) as a liason between my mom and my friends/BP, so he'll be instrumental in planning everything.

the correct ettiquette, according to emily post, requires that anyone BUT your mother host it. an immediate relative, even a sister, aubt, cousin, can not host it because its like soliciting presents on your behalf.
some people, like i know a few friends of mine, who are well off, the MOB paid for it but put the BM's names on the invitations.

I have a BM who is refusing to chip in at all for the shower. She told my sister (MOH) that my mom is supposed to pay for it. Now my mom and sister are upset at the BM.

up until joining this site...ive never heard of BMs or MOHs throwing a shower

every shower ive ever been to the MOB has thrown it

I dont see why it cant be a joint effort

and IMO, if the MOB wants to pay for it.....LET HER! lol

BMs have enough financial responsibility as is

BMs= Bach party
MOB= Bridal Shower