Bridal Shower Issue...

soon2BMrsDee Posted: Jul 05, 2007 03:59 PM

Bridal Shower Issue...

So, I am getting married in November and I had my bridal shower a month ago... why I don't know... but, besides that - in February, when I sent my MOH the list of women, she first told me I had to cut it down (it was about 100 women), which I did... down to 60. Fast forward to June 2, I walk into my bridal shower - and there are 28 people - this includes my mom, my FMIL, Grandmothers and the bridal party... I think that math is simple here.
When I asked where certain people were, I either got they didn't RSVP or they said no...
Now... here's my issue - I come to find out that the MOH put her OLD number (as she moved during the BS planning) and her email on the invitation. A third of the people on list are well over 55 and have no idea what it means to send an email... so their only option would be to call... and they couldn't. If 30 people didn't RSVP - would you pick up the phone???
Also, I find out that twenty of the 60 people NEVER got an invitation... close family friends and work friends (yes, I checked their addresses with them). Not to mention - my mother and my FMIL are both getting flack from family about not getting invited...
AND... she would not let the other BMs help in the planning - they were told that she and the other MOH (they're sisters) are taking control of the BS.
So, I know that I'm all over the place, but my dilemma is whether or not I confront her about things... What should I do???

LitBallerinaGirl Posted: Jul 05, 2007 04:07 PM

Re: Bridal Shower Issue...

OMG! You need to confront her on this.

MaureenM618 Posted: Jul 05, 2007 04:10 PM

Re: Bridal Shower Issue...

Oh my god!!! That is horrible!!!
I definately think something should be said! I would be furious.

melissankurt07 Posted: Jul 05, 2007 04:11 PM

Re: Bridal Shower Issue...

I would definitely confront her about it. If it was a money situation on how many people you could invite than she should have let the other bridal party members help plan and pay for it. Now you have friends and family feeling snubbed about it. I think it sounded fishy too when you said she told you to cut down the list and you did to 60 and only 28 showed up. My first guess was that she didn't send invitations to everybody. I would just say to her that you have had a lot of people say to you and your family 'when is the bridal shower' and when you told them you already had it and were told an invitation was sent to them and they tell you they didn't get one you were very surprised by that. And it wasn't like it was only 2-5 people it was a whole bunch of them that did not get them. Good luck!!!!

MaureenM618 Posted: Jul 05, 2007 04:13 PM

Re: Bridal Shower Issue...

I completely agree with Melissa! If money was the problem she should have let the rest of the BP contribute. I think the way Melissa said to approach her is a good idea.

Pencils Posted: Jul 05, 2007 04:17 PM

Re: Bridal Shower Issue...

The good thing is that your wedding is still a while orr--you could have a second bridal shower for all the people who didn't get invited. Doesn't have to be a big deal, have it at someone's house. Lots of brides have more than one shower. Just make sure the people who already gave you gifts don't feel like they should get you a second one.

twinkle164 Posted: Jul 05, 2007 04:41 PM

Re: Bridal Shower Issue...

Posted by Pencils

The good thing is that your wedding is still a while orr--you could have a second bridal shower for all the people who didn't get invited. Doesn't have to be a big deal, have it at someone's house. Lots of brides have more than one shower. Just make sure the people who already gave you gifts don't feel like they should get you a second one.

I think this is a good idea. Have your Mom and FMIL and bridesmaids throw you a second of the ones that didn't get invited to the first.

soon2BMrsDee Posted: Jul 05, 2007 04:42 PM

Re: Bridal Shower Issue...

When it comes to the financials... my mother paid for the majority of it - renting tables and chairs and paying for the decorations (we had a 'tea party' at my parents back yard). The only thing the girls did (according to my mother) is make food.

melissankurt07 Posted: Jul 05, 2007 04:46 PM

Re: Bridal Shower Issue...

Posted by soon2BMrsDee

When it comes to the financials... my mother paid for the majority of it - renting tables and chairs and paying for the decorations (we had a 'tea party' at my parents back yard). The only thing the girls did (according to my mother) is make food.

So why did the MOH tell you to cut down the list of women?? Did your mom tell her to tell you that? If your mom paid for it then it should have been up to her how many people were invited. I would possibly think about having another shower too so the people that never got an invitation or couldn't get through because of her phone # not working could come.

rkl1130 Posted: Jul 05, 2007 04:47 PM

Re: Bridal Shower Issue...

That is horrible!

It's not your fault that most of your guest list was snubbed. I don't understand why she wouldn't allow the others to help her either. Since you said that your mom put out most of the money for your shower, then there was really no reason for her to cry financial troubles. I think it would be acceptable to have another shower and just make sure the ones that came to the first one understand that they do not need to give you another gift.