originally i really wanted a small bridal shower at FMIL's house. my mom was going to handle all the food and decor and everything else. unfortunately we cant seem to get the number before 75 (is actually around 100) and we cant fit 75 at her house.
my mom is very strapped for money so she really cant afford to host the party in a restaurant or small catering hall, and since FH's parents already got us our HM hotel and flight, I dont think they should take on that expense as well.
technically i can pay for it myself, but it just feels so pathetic to pay for my own shower. my BMs all have various financial situations so I don't feel comfortable having them pay for it.
i cried about last night for about a hour (more hormones than anything) FH and I are paying for everything ourselves even though he is currently out of work.
what should i do?
ETA: We actually have cut the guest list to just family and a handful of close friends. the problem is we both have large families.
branNjay
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Re: Bridal shower woes
Posted by BklynBride2Be
originally i really wanted a small bridal shower at FMIL's house. my mom was going to handle all the food and decor and everything else. unfortunately we cant seem to get the number before 75 (is actually around 100) and we cant fit 75 at her house.
my mom is very strapped for money so she really cant afford to host the party in a restaurant or small catering hall, and since FH's parents already got us our HM hotel and flight, I dont think they should take on that expense as well.
technically i can pay for it myself, but it just feels so pathetic to pay for my own shower. my BMs all have various financial situations so I don't feel comfortable having them pay for it.
i cried about last night for about a hour (more hormones than anything) FH and I are paying for everything ourselves even though he is currently out of work.
what should i do?
Why dont you just cut the guest list to close friends and close family? Im not inviting every woman invited to the wedding. That would be outrageous!
DavaDay
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Re: Bridal shower woes
Forget convention... if you can afford it and your mother & BMs can't, then don't worry about it seeming 'pathetic' to pitch in. Who will know? And if it's a hardship for everyone else but not for you, then I think your mom will really appreciate it if you help out with it.
Edited: I just reread it and saw that you're planning on inviting 75 people. That's more than I'm having at my actual wedding! I'm sure you can trim down that number a bit and have it at someone's house. Even if you had 60, 70 people, that's still larger than almost every bridal shower I've ever been to.
FutureMrsLehmann
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Re: Bridal shower woes
i think you should keep it to the original plan of having it at your FMIL's house but just cut the guest list. I know that's not an easy thing to do, but it seems like the best option. 75 people is a huge shower!! plus remember that some of the people you invite aren't going to come.
Snick n Nick
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Re: Bridal shower woes
I would try to cut the guest list--maybe you can think about doing a few different showers? That may sound crazy, but maybe the one at your FMIL can be just family, and you can do a shower with friends from work or just your girlfriends separately? It really depends what your guest list looks like....whatever the situation, I would make sure you get what you want in terms of a shower--this is your only chance! If it takes you paying or contributing, and you can afford to and it's really important, I would do it!
debismom
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Re: Bridal shower woes, edited
Debi is planning, and I'm paying. We are inviting about 26 people. Very small shower. Mary MOB
enewedding
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Re: Bridal shower woes, edited
If it is something that you can swing then I don't see a problem with you paying for it. No one needs to know.
LuvMyAlfonse
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Re: Bridal shower woes, edited
Pay for it yourself... No one but you and your mom will know.
Espo22
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Re: Bridal shower woes, edited
if its within your budget then pay for it and on the invite have your mom host it
Dee0522
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Re: Bridal shower woes, edited
I don't think you should feel embarrassed or anything about paying for it... like a few other girls said... who would even know that unless you told them??
anamaree77
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Re: Bridal shower woes, edited
aww what a tough dilemma. Well, I have to say 75 people is ALOT!!!!!!!!!!! There has to be some way to cut that down. I originally wanted only about 30 at my shower TOPS and between my mother, MIL and MOH, it ended up at 96!!!!!!
Would you like to trade?? HAHA.
Otherwise, I like the idea of having multiple showers! I wouldn't have thought of that. Do one for close, close fam. Another for Coworkers/Friends, etc.
GOOD LUCK!
heathermatt
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Re: Bridal shower woes, edited
i would cut the list...I have to..I was orginally expecting like 95 and mom will not have anymore than 60....so i know cutting it is hard but I guess that is what we need to do...
wo0shply
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Re: Bridal shower woes, edited
depending on when you're having the shower, how about an out door one if its nice out side. You can get a permit from a park or just go and it would save a lot of money.
No one would know if you paid for your own shower.
