Brides... if only YOUR parents are paying... are you putting your FH's parents' names on invite?

Original post by sarahradio5

Jun 18, 2006 01:11 PM

My mom is kind of upset that she and my dad are paying for EVERYTHING (along with me and my FH) and we're not getting anything from my FH's side (NOTHING... nada... BIG bone of contention here)... and I was planning on putting the following:

Mr. and Mrs. 'my parents'
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter
me
to
FH
son of FH's mom and the late FH's dad

THAT'S the line that my mom got a little peeved at.

Should I just not put it? She has a little point. His mom just apparently doesn't see the point of big weddings and thinks it's all silly, therefore isn't offering to help with anything, even though she originally said she's help, and then said she never said that.

Should I leave it out?

Now her name will be on the RD invite since that is the one thing she is doing. What do I do?

dbleplay17 Posted: Jun 18, 2006 09:10 PM

Re: Brides... if only YOUR parents are paying... are you putting your FH's parents' names on invite?

LEAVE IT IN

IT SAYS YOUR PARENTS ARE INVITING NOT THEM SO IT DOESNT MATTERIT IS JUST STATING WHO THE FH PARENTS ARE

JIFFY Posted: Jun 18, 2006 09:16 PM

Re: Brides... if only YOUR parents are paying... are you putting your FH's parents' names on invite?

Posted by dbleplay17

LEAVE IT IN

IT SAYS YOUR PARENTS ARE INVITING NOT THEM SO IT DOESNT MATTERIT IS JUST STATING WHO THE FH PARENTS ARE

I totally agree with her

Goldi1021 Posted: Jun 18, 2006 09:33 PM

Re: Brides... if only YOUR parents are paying... are you putting your FH's parents' names on invite?

My IL's didnt contribute but their names were on the invite. My mother's name was the first line and their names followed DH's. I felt that DH's parents deserved the acknowledgement and that people should know the family from which DH came from. The wedding was not just about who shelled out the money - it was the joining of two familes. Everyone knew my family paid for the wedding anyway.

Rachel1013 Posted: Jun 18, 2006 10:03 PM

Re: Brides... if only YOUR parents are paying... are you putting your FH's parents' names on invite?

Okay, so I'm not putting FH's parents names on the invites but he doesn't care. If your FH really wants their names on it you should probably do it. I have read your other posts and it seems that you guys have been fighting more lately than ever, so do you really want to cause another fight??? It's probably not worth it. Just explain it to your parents. I mean 'traditionally' speaking, his parents shouldn't contribute a dime to the wedding anyway....good luck.

MrsR72806 Posted: Jun 18, 2006 10:15 PM

Re: Brides... if only YOUR parents are paying... are you putting your FH's parents' names on invite?

my parents are paying for everything and we put

his late mothers name and his fathers name on the invite...same way as you did.

I think its repectful that way

070306 Posted: Jun 18, 2006 11:02 PM

Re: Brides... if only YOUR parents are paying... are you putting your FH's parents' names on invite?

When I went looking at invites I was told who ever is paying goes on. Leave his parents off.

MrsStefan Posted: Jun 18, 2006 11:17 PM

Re: Brides... if only YOUR parents are paying... are you putting your FH's parents' names on invite?

My parents are covering the hall and the band. FH and I are paying for the rest. I put... 'Son of Mr. and Mrs. James XXX' on the invite. I think it is only fair. Although they arent paying, they are still his parents and I felt they needed to be recognized

Deedlebug126 Posted: Jun 18, 2006 11:23 PM

Re: Brides... if only YOUR parents are paying... are you putting your FH's parents' names on invite?

I am not putting FH's parents names on my invites. Only because they have no respect for me!

PrincessRose Posted: Jun 18, 2006 11:39 PM

Re: Brides... if only YOUR parents are paying... are you putting your FH's parents' names on invite?

Posted by Goldi1021

My IL's didnt contribute but their names were on the invite. My mother's name was the first line and their names followed DH's. I felt that DH's parents deserved the acknowledgement and that people should know the family from which DH came from. The wedding was not just about who shelled out the money - it was the joining of two familes. Everyone knew my family paid for the wedding anyway.

Exactly.

Especially the last part, because my BIL actually MENTIONED THAT in his BM toast!!!

In all seriousness, I completely understand where you're coming from - my ILs went on FOUR $$$$$$$$$ Vacations in the year after we got married, but while we were planning they cried abject poverty. Nevertheless, they gave my DH life, and I can at the very least thank them for that.

espresso Posted: Jun 19, 2006 12:16 AM

Re: Brides... if only YOUR parents are paying... are you putting your FH's parents' names on invite?

Posted by Goldi1021

My IL's didnt contribute but their names were on the invite. My mother's name was the first line and their names followed DH's. I felt that DH's parents deserved the acknowledgement and that people should know the family from which DH came from. The wedding was not just about who shelled out the money - it was the joining of two familes. Everyone knew my family paid for the wedding anyway.

yes i TOTALLY agree. leave it in!

diamondgrlie Posted: Jun 19, 2006 10:41 AM

Re: Brides... if only YOUR parents are paying... are you putting your FH's parents' names on invite?

We were in this situation and did not mention the in laws in the invitation.

ahall04 Posted: Jun 19, 2006 10:49 AM

Re: Brides... if only YOUR parents are paying... are you putting your FH's parents' names on invite?

We did not include FH's parents names on our invites. It was not important to FH, and since my parents are paying, we just kept it simple with my parents on top.

jeanla4c Posted: Jun 19, 2006 10:55 AM

Re: Brides... if only YOUR parents are paying... are you putting your FH's parents' names on invite?

I think either is completely fine---I have seen it both ways for people in similar sitations. My parents and us paid and we left it out.

OctoberPrincess2006 Posted: Jun 19, 2006 11:03 AM

Re: Brides... if only YOUR parents are paying... are you putting your FH's parents' names on invite?

Although my parents are only helping us pay for the wedding, we decided to put 'together with our parents'... we did not want to use the traditional format, so we decided on this.

BUT in your situation, it's tricky. I would leave it how you have it with both parent names. It still makes the statement that your parents are paying, while honoring his parents who raised him.

JCam695 Posted: Jun 19, 2006 11:28 AM

Re: Brides... if only YOUR parents are paying... are you putting your FH's parents' names on invite?

My side is paying for the reception (THANK GOD!)
and his parents are paying for the RD and the brunch.

We did the 'son of' line. I think it is really nice to acknowledge his parents too.

Sunrise813 Posted: Jun 19, 2006 12:13 PM

Re: Brides... if only YOUR parents are paying... are you putting your FH's parents' names on invite?

I say leave it in. Because as a guest receiving the invite and not knowing any of the back story as to who is paying, It would be very clear to me by the wording that your parents are paying for the wedding and that your FH’s mom is just being acknowledged because she is the Mother of the groom.

tomsgirl07 Posted: Jun 19, 2006 12:28 PM

Re: Brides... if only YOUR parents are paying... are you putting your FH's parents' names on invite?

I'd say leave it in. The way it's written makes it seem as if your parents are paying for the wedding, and you're only saying that FH is the son of his parents- it doesn't give any credit to them for actually paying for the wedding. And this way it won't rock the boat with the FIL's. We're going to do the same thing...

ecarr11380 Posted: Jun 19, 2006 01:07 PM

Re: Brides... if only YOUR parents are paying... are you putting your FH's parents' names on invite?

My parents are paying for my wedding to and at first I wasn't going to put my FH's parents on it. But, I discussed it with my parents and my mother thought that it was the right thing to do. So, I think that you should dicuss the wording with your parents and if they say no then I wouldn't whether my FH likes it or not.

stephanielyse Posted: Jun 19, 2006 01:55 PM

Re: Brides... if only YOUR parents are paying... are you putting your FH's parents' names on invite?

My family paid for everything, but we worded ours similar to this:

Mr. and Mrs. 'my parents'
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter
me
to
FH
son of FH's mom and the late FH's dad

It is very clear from this wording that the bride's family is paying, but I think it is nice to honor your FH's parents (who will become your family). Ultimately it's up to you, but I think it's a nice thing to do.

PKG06 Posted: Jun 19, 2006 02:18 PM

Re: Brides... if only YOUR parents are paying... are you putting your FH's parents' names on invite?

I think the wording is perfect as well. It clearly indicates who is paying, and makes you look as if you were kind enough to include his parents on the invite even though they're not giving a dime.