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Brides who don't live with FH yet

TheFutureMrs2011 Posted:

Brides who don't live with FH yet

Pacie Posted:

Re: Brides who don't live with FH yet


I feel like that sometimes too, so you aren’t alone. Me and FH would love to live together now but we’re in the same situation as you guys, we want to save for a house and between the saving for the wedding, rent and our regular bills we wouldn’t be able to save nearly as much as we are right now. What I’ve learned since getting engaged (a lot of people were giving us crap about having such a long engagement) is that people are always going to have something to say (especially if what you are doing is different from what they did) so in the end you have to stop caring and just do what makes you guys happy.
mybabylovesmoi Posted:

Re: Brides who don't live with FH yet

I get the opposite response!!!

FH and I have been living together for 2+ years and my parents are reluctant to tell ANYBODY lol like it's a shameful secret. Now that we bought a house, it's a little better since they use the 'they have to live together to save on rent' excuse

I think the older generation will frown upon living together before marriage but the younger generation think you should live together before you get married. But it's all just a matter of opinion. It's very easy to judge when you're the third party.

Simply say, 'We have the rest of our life to live together.'
ElovesJ117 Posted:

Re: Brides who don't live with FH yet

Yes I totally understand what you are talking about! FH and I don't live together because we are saving money to buy a house and I always grew up with the idea of moving in together after you are married. People always tell me that I have no clue what I am getting myself into if we don't move in together before getting married. But what I don't understand is people make it sound like its a trial period. They are seeing if they can live with this person and then they will get engaged/married.

Everyone has their own opinions and ideas don't worry what people think. You are doing what is right for you and FH and that's all that matters.
GlitterBox24 Posted:

Re: Brides who don't live with FH yet

I am having the opposite, FH and I Live together and to my family its the worse thing ever... Some have even said why bother with a wedding when we live together already. I had lived with FH before getting engaged and when he proposed ofcourse i cried, i was so happy, and one of my aunts told myc ousin, oh that is so stupid, why would she even cry about... My fam is very traditional. and Women and men should only live together once married in their eyes. FH and i knew we would eventually marry and thats why we moved in to Save for wedding, ring, so when ever someone said a comment, i was like whatever, i know why im doing it.. It would only bother me a bit with my mom, becuz she would cry about it, and say she was embarrassed about it becuz she was not raised like that. But none of these people know how expensive it is to get a ring, have a wedding and house/apt when you are paying for this out of your own pockets.

GlitterBox24 Posted:

Re: Brides who don't live with FH yet

Posted by mybabylovesmoi

I get the opposite response!!!

FH and I have been living together for 2+ years and my parents are reluctant to tell ANYBODY lol like it's a shameful secret. Now that we bought a house, it's a little better since they use the 'they have to live together to save on rent' excuse

I think the older generation will frown upon living together before marriage but the younger generation think you should live together before you get married. But it's all just a matter of opinion. It's very easy to judge when you're the third party.

Simply say, 'We have the rest of our life to live together.'


OMG that is totally my mom, since she lives in a diff country and people would ask her if i was alone in the apt she would say YES... im like wth...
Moonmist09 Posted:

Re: Brides who don't live with FH yet

we don't live together and i guess in my family circle its completely the norm so everyone is like you don't live together yet, do you? and we're like no.
so i don't really feel bashed about it.
mybabylovesmoi Posted:

Re: Brides who don't live with FH yet

Posted by GlitterBox24

Posted by mybabylovesmoi

I get the opposite response!!!

FH and I have been living together for 2+ years and my parents are reluctant to tell ANYBODY lol like it's a shameful secret. Now that we bought a house, it's a little better since they use the 'they have to live together to save on rent' excuse

I think the older generation will frown upon living together before marriage but the younger generation think you should live together before you get married. But it's all just a matter of opinion. It's very easy to judge when you're the third party.

Simply say, 'We have the rest of our life to live together.'


OMG that is totally my mom, since she lives in a diff country and people would ask her if i was alone in the apt she would say YES... im like wth...


Yup, we were looking for a house before we were engaged and my mom was FREAKINGGG out since I kept telling her we're not getting engaged yet because of money. When FH proposed the day we closed (before we moved in) she was so relieved that at LEAST we were engaged. She can now tell people that we're getting married so that it doesn't look so bad that we're living together.
suzie411 Posted:

Re: Brides who don't live with FH yet

I'm also in the opposite situation. . . . . .We moved in together and someone told me that I'm living in Sin, and called me a tramp. She may have been kidding around, but it seems really inappropriate for the workplace. Also, even if it's a joke, I know that she is really judging me, but I just don't care!!

Do what's best for you, no explanations necessary!!
TheFutureMrs2011 Posted:

Re: Brides who don't live with FH yet

Pacie Posted:

Re: Brides who don't live with FH yet

Posted by suzie411

I'm also in the opposite situation. . . . . .We moved in together and someone told me that I'm living in Sin, and called me a tramp. She may have been kidding around, but it seems really inappropriate for the workplace. Also, even if it's a joke, I know that she is really judging me, but I just don't care!!

Do what's best for you, no explanations necessary!!



OMG!!! ARe you kidding? People are ridiculous.

mybabylovesmoi Posted:

Re: Brides who don't live with FH yet

Posted by Melfrank

Ok, so basically you can't win either way!! lol... So if you don't live together you don't know what you're getting into and you're doomed, and if you do live together you're living in sin!???! lol

I guess you are damned if you do and damned if you don't!! lol, thanks girls I feel a lil better.. I just think where I live is no indication of how strong my relationship is and shouldn't be a reason for judgement.. I don't believe living apart is bad, and I don't believe being able to live together is bad either (I think it's awesome actually, just not in the cards for us).. lol but I guess any living situation is bad??


lol pretty much. You can't please everyone so just please yourself!
kedra5 Posted:

Re: Brides who don't live with FH yet

Agreed...you can't win no matter what so at the end of the day, as long as what you are doing makes YOU happy...then thats all that matters!

SoonToBeMrsONeill Posted:

Re: Brides who don't live with FH yet

I'm in the same exact boat, we're doing it because of our faith (we just dont believe in living together before marriage) but at the same time we don't mind still living at home because we know that we're saving a ton of money and itll be less than a year before we are living together... i wouldn't worry too much about it... as long as you're not living separately while married that's all
kimmaymb20 Posted:

Re: Brides who don't live with FH yet

I stoped listening to people along time ago. Tell them we'll if your going to pay the rent we'll move in together. I get a lot of where are going to live since right now during the week fh live at his parents in ct and I'm here.

evita2781 Posted:

Re: Brides who don't live with FH yet

i feel like that but to be honest, I'm glad that we're still not living together otherwise we cant have the wedding that we want and we won't have much money in the future to buy a house. I'll have the rest of my life to live with him so I'm in no rush at all to move in with him. There's nothing wrong with living with parents still to save a little money. Again, it's people butting into other's business when they really had no place in there in the first place

allornil Posted:

Re: Brides who don't live with FH yet

yeah FH and I have lived together forever. His whole family says we're married. His Mom calls me her daughter in law.

I actually owned a house before I met him so he had it easy lol.

I swear though, I wish I didn't own one lately. sigh...
sjr385 Posted:

Re: Brides who don't live with FH yet

BlushandBashful Posted:

Re: Brides who don't live with FH yet

My FH and I don't live together, either. We both come from very traditional families and living together before marriage just wasn't really an option for us. I get a lot of 'You guys are WAITING to live together??' from people I work with -- but besides that everyone is pretty understanding/supportive. I'm extremely excited to eventually live together. Thankfully my FH is pretty much the most easy going guy ever, so I'm not so worried about the transition period.

HoosierCouple Posted:

Re: Brides who don't live with FH yet

Ha. I did not realize this was such a 'hot topic' amoung my friends until i got engaged and was not living with my FH yet. We get it from both sides (my friends think we should live together... which we are in the middle of trying to move in together now) and my family (especially his family who is very old-school and traditional) think its not 'right' and we should save money anyway.

So long story short--- do what works best for you!

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