BRIDESMAID BLUES PART II

BRIDESMAID BLUES PART II

For those of you who remember my last post regarding my bridesmaids, ......theres more....
PS thanks so much for the WONDERFUL advice, and i hope you dont mind me bending your ear some more :) So here goes: Part II

Refresher: my bridal party consists of cousins, 2 of my 3 bridesmaids are sisters who live in Georgia. Basically have no responsibilities in this wedding because of the distance and lack of interest in their party, due to where they are in their lives..they are 21 and 19
I purchased Vera Wang dresses at a Sample Sale, and kindly absorbed the cost. I bought their appropriate sizes after checking with them.
one of the sisters is my maid of honor,and has gained the notorious college freshman weight. She visited in March and JUST fit in the dress.(with no room to spare)...I was a bit stressed, but she said she was going to the gym and would easily lose 5-15 pounds by my shower...needless to say my shower was 2 weeks ago, and to say it straight - she was about 5-10 pounds heavier than she was in March, and kept procrastinating the trying-on of her dress. I did not persist, being that it was the day of my shower, and they flew up from Georgia, i didnt want to be ungrateful.
So we sent this past weekend, the dress to Georgia to be tried on by her sister, and i spoke to Grace (my maid of honor) over the phone, trying to get her to acknowledge that this dress was not going to fit adn that we NEED TO MOVE ON!!
Cuz i am now 51/2 weeks away from the wedding. Trying to purchase shoes and gifts fro the bridal party, and feeling held back cuz im not sure whether or not my maid of honor will fit inthe dress. Well, she called tonight to say that she got the dress, and she and my Aunt swear that she fits in it....( i know they are lying, i knkow thats terrible, but true)....a desperate attempt to buy time so that they can find some way for her to fit in this dress. Is the completely unfair, and selfish of them, once again? What can I do? Any advice, im going crazy here!!!!
thanks. Sorry, im sure its confusing, i tried to give this shorter version....didnt work....
thanks much

BRIDESMAID BLUES PART II (long)

I am sorry!! Wow, what a nightmare. The only thing I can say is that I hope that if indeed she didnt fit into the dress, maybe she is scared and will go to the gym to get rid of the fat!! I know its short notice but try not to stress over it. Easier said then done, I know. My FI's sister is in my party and she got measured last weekend for her dress. Well, she fits in between 2 sizes. Since she had her period and was bloated (sorry to say it so bluntly), she wants to be remeasured in a week! Well, we tried the dress on in the smaller size and it was VERY tight across the ribs. Boobs were too big for her though. So the woman told her to go for the larger size because the dress has been stretched already from the people trying it on... Well she wants the smaller one.. I could KILL HER. But in July when we go for the fitting and it doesnt fit, I will worry then. My concern will be that she is going to look like a clown with a different dress on... and shes not the MOH. Sorry to ramble on but I thought this might help you relax. It is unfair and selfish of some people. They have a responsibility to us brides to HELP and make it EASIER but...some make us worry more. Again, I know this didnt help much but your not alone. Relax and just do the best you can. Its just a dress, remember that.

BRIDESMAID BLUES PART II (long)

i wish i could say its just a dress, but it could be the thing that keeps her from being in the party! MY wedding is in 5 WEEKS, and if she cant fit there are others that i may want to ask?

BRIDESMAID BLUES PART II (long)

Exactly - its just a dress. Try not to stress over it. Brides have enough to worry about!
What the worst that can happen? The dress absolutely dosent fit and she has to wear something else. Many MOH's wear a different dress. You mentioned in your earlier post how much they were into looking thier best all the time. I am sure she wouldn't look anything but her best when she is standing up for you on you wedding day.

BRIDESMAID BLUES PART II (long)

The problem is that they are unable to financially help, therefore i am paying for all of the accessories, and dresses, plus gifts.....i dont have all this money to spend........

BRIDESMAID BLUES PART II

People gain weight...there``s nothing you can do about it. If she feels uncomfortable then she will take it off..if not then she has to walk around with a tight dress. It``s stress enough knowing you need to fit into a bridesmaids dress that probably is sleeveless....I``m sure she isn``t tickled either.

BRIDESMAID BLUES PART II

i just dont know why would she want to be uncomfortable all night, putting herself on display when shes not even happy with her appearnace....it seems bazaar to me....it turns out that she bowed out anyway, which i understand and respect, its just too much uncertainty for all of us. thanks for the advice everybody.

sorry to hear that

good luck

BRIDESMAID BLUES PART II

thanks again for the wonderful advice SCQUINN and support..... :)

BRIDESMAID BLUES PART II

Just curious if you ever have had a weight problem?? It`s not as easy as it seems....

BRIDESMAID BLUES PART II

obviously u have issues, i have enough to think about.......thanks again for the advice

BRIDESMAID BLUES PART II

I don't think she (Ella) was trying to create any problems...I think she may be pointing out something. While I can realize that your wedding is very soon, I think she was just trying to make a point that your cousin/sister ( I can't remember which it was) may have gained weight and it usually isn't as easy to lose as it is to gain. I have to say that when I went off to college, I gained quite a bit of weight. It has taken me nearly 2 years to lose everything I had gained. Perhaps the reason she *really* still wants to be in your wedding, no matter how she looks, is because you are important to her and she doesn't view it as embarrassing. She may also realize that you were nice enough to pay for the dress...I bet that she feels guilty and sad at this point. I am not saying because you don't have a reason to be upset and worried, but because she feels like she let you down.

Nancy

Yes

I agree

BRIDESMAID BLUES PART II

once again, great advice scquinn, while i do recognize the points made on both sides, i cant help but wonder if i am that important to her, she knew she needed to lose only 5 pounds from march to may, and at my shower march 31st she had gained ten more......so......it is what it is.
thanks again everyone. :)

BRIDESMAID BLUES PART II

Stop and think about how selfish and petty you are being. 'Put herself on display'...you act as if she is some sort of freak just for gaining some weight. And the fact that you would kick her out of the bridal party just because she gained weight is rediculous. Did you want her to be your MOH because she means a lot to you or because she would look pretty in your pictures? You being important to her? Isn't she important to you? By making such a big deal of this, you could cause the poor girl to develop an eating disorder!!!!

BRIDESMAID BLUES PART II

I did not kick her out, there were problems even before this. Her mom removed her because there is too much going on in Atlanta with them. The girls have finals, there father is going into the hospital, etc. My aunt is feeling so stressed, and cant deal with the fact that in addition there will be fittings the girls need to go to in the next week or 2. So she called and asked me if it were okay with me. I felt that it was okay. And i am really sad as a matter of fact. You act like I am forcing her out.....try getting your facts straight, and making more rational valid points.

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BRIDESMAID BLUES PART II

'i wish i could say its just a dress, but it could be the thing that keeps her from being in the party! MY wedding is in 5 WEEKS, and if she cant fit there are others that i may want to ask?'
That's your quote, so I think my points were quite valid! That's why we're all here, right? It's just to give & receive oppinions, and I all I did was give mine.

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BRIDESMAID BLUES PART II

Not trying to create problems but I'd rather have a person in my wedding party for her heart and not her dress size. I understand you are upset about the dress and the expense but I think your sisters emotions cost more than any dress.