For those of you who remember my last post regarding my bridesmaids, ......theres more....
PS thanks so much for the WONDERFUL advice, and i hope you dont mind me bending your ear some more :) So here goes: Part II
Refresher: my bridal party consists of cousins, 2 of my 3 bridesmaids are sisters who live in Georgia. Basically have no responsibilities in this wedding because of the distance and lack of interest in their party, due to where they are in their lives..they are 21 and 19
I purchased Vera Wang dresses at a Sample Sale, and kindly absorbed the cost. I bought their appropriate sizes after checking with them.
one of the sisters is my maid of honor,and has gained the notorious college freshman weight. She visited in March and JUST fit in the dress.(with no room to spare)...I was a bit stressed, but she said she was going to the gym and would easily lose 5-15 pounds by my shower...needless to say my shower was 2 weeks ago, and to say it straight - she was about 5-10 pounds heavier than she was in March, and kept procrastinating the trying-on of her dress. I did not persist, being that it was the day of my shower, and they flew up from Georgia, i didnt want to be ungrateful.
So we sent this past weekend, the dress to Georgia to be tried on by her sister, and i spoke to Grace (my maid of honor) over the phone, trying to get her to acknowledge that this dress was not going to fit adn that we NEED TO MOVE ON!!
Cuz i am now 51/2 weeks away from the wedding. Trying to purchase shoes and gifts fro the bridal party, and feeling held back cuz im not sure whether or not my maid of honor will fit inthe dress. Well, she called tonight to say that she got the dress, and she and my Aunt swear that she fits in it....( i know they are lying, i knkow thats terrible, but true)....a desperate attempt to buy time so that they can find some way for her to fit in this dress. Is the completely unfair, and selfish of them, once again? What can I do? Any advice, im going crazy here!!!!
thanks. Sorry, im sure its confusing, i tried to give this shorter version....didnt work....
thanks much
leyann
Posted:
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BRIDESMAID BLUES PART II
Sorry to hear that she backed out. I am sure you are very nervous now, more than you need to be with the wedding so close. But we all are here trying to help you. Everyone feels differently about each situation and addresses your concerns differently. Gives you all kinds of perspective. Relax. We are all friends here. Since you bought the dress and she did back out, maybe you can find someone who can fill it. Although she is family, it might be easier with someone else. My cousin said no to be in my party (expense, weight problem and thought she was too old) and it worked out just fine! The dresses we picked she would have hated but all the other girls loved. Although I miss her, she will be there that day. Give the dress to someone who you know will stand there gladly and proudly with you that day. If that doesnt work, its ok too. Yes you bought a dress you didnt need but its just one day. 6 hours. It wont ruin your life. (although I tell myself the same stuff and it doesnt always help). Try and relax. Have fun. And remember we all are here to help you. Not make it worse. Everyone gave you great advise!!
fortzando
Posted:
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BRIDESMAID BLUES PART II
ITS not my sisters, they're my COUSINS.
fortzando
Posted:
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BRIDESMAID BLUES PART II
Leyann, thank you so much.....your post is what really helped me find closure....i am finally relaxed, and thank you EVERYONE for your support and help.....i wish you all the best and thank you again.
quinn
Posted:
Member since
BRIDESMAID BLUES PART II
sorry, i thought i read in your orginal post that your sister is your MOH!!
abby
Posted:
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BRIDESMAID BLUES PART II
I was so surprised at this post! I could not believe someone would actually care that much about a 'weight issue'!! If you were concerned that it would make you look bad, give me a break! She would be the one looking bad. And that is not the point, you should'nt ask someone to be in your wedding bacause of their figure, it should be their character your more concerned with.This is why young girls have eating disorders, it is people like you that make them feel unworthy. Get a grip, people gain weight all the time, it doesn't make them bad people, she is the same person you asked to be in your wedding, just 5-10 pounds heavier. Give her some credit, maybe she will take the few extra pounds off.
Elizabeth
Posted:
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BRIDESMAID BLUES PART II
Abby-
I hear what you are saying as I also thought it was a bit harsh but to be fair, I must say that what was mentioned here may not have been how it was discussed with the bridesmaid. The good thing about this board is that we can sound off about stuff that is bringing us stress, worries, concern, fear, etc. related to our wedding with other women who are at the same place in their lives. Sometimes letting it out here helps calm the fears before we carry them over and then it becomes an out of control issue with our family friends or guests. Those are just my feelings on the positive side. As someone else mentioned, most of us are here to be helpful to each other.
fortzando
Posted:
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BRIDESMAID BLUES PART II
There are many issues here that only a few of you are not hearing or maybe not aware of (since you did not see my post a month ago) Well, first i am taking care of EVERYTHING monitarily in terms of these two girls (My Cousins), who could chip in but are not offering, and they both have jobs. I Payed for their dresses, would be paying for their hair, make-up, shoes, accesories as well as their BRIDAL GIFTS to be given at the rehearsal dinner....Now, they tell me they are going to try their best to fit in these dresses, what happens if they DONT??? I have spent money on necklaces, shoes that need to be sent away to be dyed, and gifts??? ANd, have spent a lot of time and effort on them in addition to my own needs, because I do lOVE them. They have offered no money which is OKAY, but they havent even called to show support or ask how its going........they are CLUELESS....one of them didnt show for my shower, and never even bothered to call the whole weekend, or there after....and IM EXPENDING ALL THIS TIME, ENERGY and MONEY on this party..... and all they had to do since January is make sure they can fit in the dresses that they did not even purchase or offer to pay toward...When my cousin Grace tried it on Martin Luther KIng day weekend and it barely fit, i did not react harshly because she insisted that she was going to go to the gym, she has three months and she kept saying 'I want to do it for myself anyway, and this wedding will be my motivation' at that point i said, if its too much, i really dont want you to worry about it. Its your first year at college etc....
Many of you had not read my earlier post a month back which explained many other facts that were importatnt to understand the whole situation, so therefore I do not find many of your comments to be as offensive as they really seem, because you only know a minor part of the entire picture here. So thank you again for your advice, I think I will handle it from here....best of luck to all of you.......
quinn
Posted:
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Hi
FM
2003OCT10
Posted:
Member since
Re: BRIDESMAID BLUES PART II
Worse comes to worse, she your MOH, and in some weddings MOH's wear different dresses... You'll figure somethingout.. Even if it means sending her lil round butt to macys before the rehearsal!!!!!!
Dont stress about it -- It could be worse!!! Relax! Youre not IN georgia, You cant see them in Georgia... Tell yourself she fits if thats what will put you to ease!!! ITs ok!!!
