Bridesmaid Boy Issue

I need your opinion on this issue. What do i do?

Okay here it goes:

My roommate, who lives with FH and me, is my best friend from high school and one of my bridesmaids. She was dating this guy (who also happened to go to our high school but they only started dating recently... like 7 years after hs) whom I can't stand. I really disliked him because of how he treated her. About once a month, he would do something outrageously mean to her (i.e. refuse to talk to her on her birthday, kick her out of a wedding for no reason). The rest of the time he was super sweet like Jekyl and Hyde. Anyway, I only hated him because i hated seeing her treated that way.
So about 3 months ago, they broke up. For the zillionth time. I had comforted her every time even though it was annoying since I knew it was only for a few days or a couple of hours each time. Anyway, this time she was serious about the break up. This was the time when he kicked her out of a wedding when he was drunk and made her drive home alone after drinking. She said there was no real reason and I've seen him in action so I know this had to be true. Anyway, he never even apologized for kicking her out and told her never to speak to him again the next day. The guy is seriously unhinged.
So she cried and hated him and blah blah blah drama for months. They have been separated for months. Eventually he started calling her and begging her to see him again and saying he changed. He even showed up here at 2 in the morning which scared me because I feel like he is an actual sociopath. Anyway, she is an idiot and because she 'can't find anyone else' and 'still has feeling for him even though she knows she should not believe him that he changed' went on a date with him last night. When I came home today, she was on the phone with him. She is out on a date with him again today.
Long story short, I know that I can't do anything about her being a fool and dating him. Thats up to her and not me and I'll bite my tongue about it and grin and bear it (she knows how I feel already). My concern is having to invite him to my wedding. There is a real potential for him to cause a scene based on his history with her. FH and FMIL are also concerned about it. FH never dislikes anyone and he HATES this guy... So what do I do? Its 6 months from my wedding. If they get back together, its long enough before to consider it a serious relationship. I don't want to ruin a friendship over it either. But I also don't need my wedding ruined by this guy. Advice please?

It's not like you just don't like this guy--he's a jerk, he's abusive (that sounds like emotional abuse to me), and disruptive.

I think you should sit your friend down gently and say something along the lines of this: 'We've discussed my feelings for BF before. Because of this, I'm not going to be able to invite him to my wedding.' Don't make it seem like you're making her choose between you and him, just put it as you will not invite him to the wedding due to how you feel about his behavior.

This obviously has potential to backfire and potentially ruin a friendship, but if you are concerned about him making a hairy scene at the wedding, you should not invite him. I think your friend will eventually see the light.

DH had 1 friend I absolutely forbid to come to our wedding - I didnt care at what cost, or whose feelings got hurt. He has ruined 3 weddings in the past, punched holes in the walls of 2 RH's, and gets obscenely drunk and caused fights. Overall, he is just a real jerk. He was not invited, and that's that.

I had a guy friend that DH wasnt fond of either. My friend is rather cocky, and had a tendency to drink alot and get out of hand, and one night about 5 mos before our wedding, they got into it and started pushing and shoving. So, due to DH's wishes, he was not invited either.

my point being... It is your and DH's day.. you really do not need the worry of your friends BF (who sounds like a real P.O.S.) ruining your wedding day, or your BM's day either. I would just explain to her that you would love for her to be part of your day, but you cannot run the risk of him being there and causing problems.