So I asked my friend to be in my wedding and FH asked her husband to be his bestman b/c that's his best friend and we are all friends. But they have two kids a boy 10 who I used to watch when he was three and a girl who is 4. I asked them to be in my wedding party as well only b/c I know that they will have no one to watch them. But I'm not having any kids at my wedding and my mom and sisters think it's stupid to have a RB that is 10 and to have kids in the wedding party but no kids at the wedding. I now don't want kids in my party and don't know what to say b/c the first time I asked her she said she had to talk to her husband then the second time I asked her she said whatever you want to do. So she shouldn't really get mad if they aren't in the wedding party right? She never really acted like she wanted them to be in the wedding. I would like to know I'm I right and go with what I want for my wedding? What do I do if she drops out? I'm so stressed right now I need help please!!! Sorry so long!
Snick n Nick
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Re: Bridesmaid drama!!
I'm a little confused, did you actually confirm that the kids would be in the wedding? I don't think it's that out of the ordinary to have kids in the BP but no kids at the wedding....I was a flower girl in my uncle's wedding when I was 7 and my brother was ring bearer at 10, and it was like that....
HamptonsBride
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Re: Bridesmaid drama!!
i had a 'no kids' policy for my wedding but had my nieces & nephews in the BP and at the wedding reception...i don't think there is anything strange about that. But if you no longer want any kids then you need to talk to the mom...hopefully the kids haven't been told they'd be in a wedding & will now be disappointed...
gettinghizitched
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Re: Bridesmaid drama!!
I really don't know what she thinks but I think that if they are not allowed to go to the wedding then se can't go.
gettinghizitched
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Re: Bridesmaid drama!!
Posted by HamptonsBride
i had a 'no kids' policy for my wedding but had my nieces & nephews in the BP and at the wedding reception...i don't think there is anything strange about that. But if you no longer want any kids then you need to talk to the mom...hopefully the kids haven't been told they'd be in a wedding & will now be disappointed...
No they don't know. I tried to talk to her today but she didn't answer.
Snick n Nick
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Re: Bridesmaid drama!!
Well in that case I would include them, unless for some reason you really don't want them--did you ask the children yet, or just their mother? If the kids know I wouldn't want to disappoint them....I know our FGs are REALLY excited and every time we see them they talk about it.
ETA: Saw your last response. If it were me I would probably just include them, but I guess it's really up to you. Are you really friends with your BM? I would think you'd be able to discuss it, and it seems like you must know the kids pretty well too....
PegaLega
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Re: Bridesmaid drama!!
We had no kids for our wedding too, but our RB was there b/c he was in the BP. i think that this is the norm now, especially when people do no kids, the only kids that are actually invited are the ones in the BP. If you dont want to change it dont-if you want them in the party have them in the party.
karabara
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Re: Bridesmaid drama!!
I am having five kids in my wedding party (nieces and nephews of mine and FH's) but no children at the wedding.
Maybe when you get in touch with her you should just ask her what her thoughts are on being in the bridal party? Is she strapped for cash these days and is thinking of having the kids included as an expense (which it can be) and that is what's beind her hesitation? or, maybe she and her hubby just want to enjoy the evening sans kids
gettinghizitched
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Re: Bridesmaid drama!!
Well FH talked to her husband his best friend and said that it was kind of expensive so his kids aren't going to be in the wedding but they are coming to the wedding. We really don't have a lot of kids in the family but are allowing them to come now. That's for all your help.
MrsK2008
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Re: Bridesmaid drama!!
There is a tactful way of handling it.
I also have a whole family in my wedding party. The parents told us, without us asking them to do it, that they will have their children picked up by their aunt before the reception starts.
Most adults do not want to be bothered with the attendance of their children at such an event. It all usually works itself out!
gettinghizitched
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Re: Bridesmaid drama!!
Posted by MrsK2008
There is a tactful way of handling it.
I also have a whole family in my wedding party. The parents told us, without us asking them to do it, that they will have their children picked up by their aunt before the reception starts.
Most adults do not want to be bothered with the attendance of their children at such an event. It all usually works itself out!
I thought parents would like to have the day off but I guess I was wrong. It is a day wedding tho.
PreshusSmurf
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Re: Bridesmaid drama!!
Posted by HamptonsBride
hopefully the kids haven't been told they'd be in a wedding & will now be disappointed...
OMG, my cousin did this to my & my brother for his wedding when we were little ... I'm still bothered by it!
He & his fiance made a big deal and came over and asked us in person to be in the wedding, and we were so excited about it.
Then they decided 'no kids' b/c there was a wild kid on the other side of the family they didn't want to invite ... so they took back the invitation to be in the wedding!
If I were you, I would keep them in the wedding!
GraceAndAdam
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Re: Bridesmaid drama!!
I agree that it's definitely okay to have a 'no kids' wedding but have kids in your BP. There's a big difference between having 50 kids running around and just having a RB and a FG. I don't think any of your guests should get mad if they left their kids home but see you have a RB and FG. It makes sense to have the entire BP at your reception, including the kids. But based on how your BM replied when you asked her kids to be in the BP it's possible she's not crazy about the idea. Maybe your FH could talk to the father since he's his best friend and be honest with him about the situation? good luck!
Wifeynella
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Re: Bridesmaid drama!!
i think you have figure out what you really want and then let everyone know. if you already asked i dont think its right to tell him forget about it now, IMHO
as far as your reception, i have a no kid under 10 policy Except for our flowergirls who are 4, 4 and 3.
i agree the 10 y.r. shouldnt be a ring bearer but rather a jr. groomsman
gettinghizitched
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Re: Bridesmaid drama!!
Thanks for everyone's help but I already settled the drama. We don't have a lot of kids in the family so we are going to allow kids and not have a flower girl or ring bearer.
mjay
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Re: Bridesmaid drama!!
I HAVE NO KIDS AT MY RECEPTION I PUT THAT IN THE INVITE,, THE ONLY KIDS THAT WILL BE IN THE BRIDAL PART IS MY SISTER AND MY FH NEPHEW AND MY GODDAUGHETER,,,OH WHICH ALL ARE IN THE BRIDAL PARTY,, THAT SHOULD BE FINE,, AND PPL SHOULD DEFINATELY UNDERSTAND THIS,, DO WHAT YOU FEEL IS BEST FOR YOU!!!!!
gettinghizitched
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Re: Bridesmaid drama!!
Posted by mjay
I HAVE NO KIDS AT MY RECEPTION I PUT THAT IN THE INVITE,, THE ONLY KIDS THAT WILL BE IN THE BRIDAL PART IS MY SISTER AND MY FH NEPHEW AND MY GODDAUGHETER,,,OH WHICH ALL ARE IN THE BRIDAL PARTY,, THAT SHOULD BE FINE,, AND PPL SHOULD DEFINATELY UNDERSTAND THIS,, DO WHAT YOU FEEL IS BEST FOR YOU!!!!!
