So I just want to vent a little. One of my bridesmaids has always had financial difficulties, so before I asked her to be in my wedding party, I told her that I would totally understand if she couldn't afford the responsibilities blah blah blah... She said no I will save I def want to be in your bridal party. So, that was in September, mind you my wedding is in March 09, so this gave the girls a year & a half to save. (I am not doing anythign extravagant by far, bridal shower in backyard, under $150 for dresses) So this girl meets a guy in Jan, he proposed to her last week, she has stressed how she has no $$ for a wedding, and will prob just elope. This morning I find out from one of my other girls that this girl has dropped out of my bridal party. I was like wow, I guess thats why she hasn't returned any of my calls in the past 2 weeks. I am soooo pissed off at her. I understand if you are having financial troubles, but when were you going to tell me, and I would NEVER drop out of one of my best friends weddings because I suddenly got engaged. I find it to be very selfish, and I prob won't talk to her anyomore because she is acting like a child. i also feel like I gave her the option before hand to just come to my wedding and share my day without being in my bridal party, and now she did exactly what I was afraid she was going to do. Am I being irrational here by not wanting to speak with her anymore?
flairforfashion
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Re: Bridesmaid Drop Out
Awww, I am sorry she did this to you. I totally understand how you feel- I too would be upset. You know, these are the times where you find out who your true friends are. I know I did.
PoppedInASnap
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I wonder if she really thought that she could be in your bridal party but then got scared? Sometimes people don't know how to react...
I would be upset also , but I would talk it out with her..hope that helps!
chicky724
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Re: Bridesmaid Drop Out
No, I think you're totally right in not wanting to talk to her.
I thinkit would be one thing if she couldn't afford it and apologized and talked to you about it, but having to find out from someone else is really wrong.
PoppedInASnap
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okay wait, I read it wrong. She hasnt told you at all??
jen919ifer
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That is exactly how I feel. I mean when were you going to tell me. They ar e planning my shower for Sept so I can have it in the nice weather. She has ignored all 3 attempts of of MOH calling her for showe rdetails. I just find it very very selfish, and I honestly don't want to speak with her about it since she couldn't speak with me about her withdrawing. I think if she came to me first I would feel a lot different, but on the other hand I just keep telling myself that I would never do that to someone. I know things come up unexpectedly, but I just can't talk myself into thinking of it that way.
Firkx3
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Re: Bridesmaid Drop Out
I think you should first somehow get in contact with her. To hear it from her. You never know, maybe it's not true. Don't belive anything till you actually hear it from the person themself. People really begin to act a little cooky around weddings.
But after you truly know that she dropped out without telling you, you should just write her out of your life. This is the most important, special happy time of your life. You shouldn't have so-called best friends adding drama to your life.
jen919ifer
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Posted by MrsFazz2B
okay wait, I read it wrong. She hasnt told you at all??
No I found out this morning from one of my other bridesmaids, and she has ignored my calls the past 2 weeks. My friend told me it's because she has to save money to pay for her wedding.
evewedsjc
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Sorry to hear about that....
At least you had an idea before that she was a flake so you should not be too surprised. Events like this are alwasy when you find out about people's true selves..
I understand not wanting to talk to her again but give it time you may feel differently later but at least you know where to place her in your life...
Take the opportunity to show her how to do things properly and with class...gets them every time lol!!! here's a hug!!
PoppedInASnap
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Re: Bridesmaid Drop Out
Posted by jen919ifer
Posted by MrsFazz2B
okay wait, I read it wrong. She hasnt told you at all??
No I found out this morning from one of my other bridesmaids, and she has ignored my calls the past 2 weeks. My friend told me it's because she has to save money to pay for her wedding.
Okay then thats not right. If she was a friend she would have called. I read it wrong and that she told you she dropped out... but this is completely different. Not even to be a friend to tell you is not right.
I mean, honestly, if she called and said 'Im really sorry but now with my wedding i dont think i can do it' Yes, you would have been upset at first but it would have passed. But ignoring you and not telling you herself? That would make me beyond mad!
jen919ifer
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Re: Bridesmaid Drop Out
Posted by MrsFazz2B
Posted by jen919ifer
Posted by MrsFazz2B
okay wait, I read it wrong. She hasnt told you at all??
No I found out this morning from one of my other bridesmaids, and she has ignored my calls the past 2 weeks. My friend told me it's because she has to save money to pay for her wedding.
Okay then thats not right. If she was a friend she would have called. I read it wrong and that she told you she dropped out... but this is completely different. Not even to be a friend to tell you is not right.
I mean, honestly, if she called and said 'Im really sorry but now with my wedding i dont think i can do it' Yes, you would have been upset at first but it would have passed. But ignoring you and not telling you herself? That would make me beyond mad!
Exactly, it would have gone over a million times better if she just explained herself. But like I have been told by a couple people, I now know who my true friends are, and she obviously is not the same person she used to be.
ELluvsMB
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Re: Bridesmaid Drop Out
I can not believe she didn't call. If money was that tight I'm sure you would have worked something out with her so she could still be in it. Perhaps you could have helped with the dress or something if she was a close friend. I can not believe she didn't tell you herself that part is not acceptable!!!
BarbieGrl10
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Aww! I'm soo sorry this happened to you! The same thing happened to my MOH. The girl dropped out and didn't come to the Bridal Shower, E- Party, B-Party and to top it off... She didn't come to the wedding! My gf was sooooooo hurt and upset. People can be so rude!
missjones2007
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I dont blame you...I would be pissed too and not speak to her but i think you need to hear from her becasuse you never know...people can get things wrong
Jsquared279
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You are absolutely not being irrational! She should have come to you in fact, she shouldn't have taken the responsibility and honor in the first place! Geez, some people!
maggie728
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I would try to talk to her about it, if she's still ignoring your calls then do what makes you happy its your day.
jen919ifer
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I actually just found out that she has known for 3 weeks now, and was also worried about the gas for the wedding day since she lives in Dutchess County. (I use 1/2 a tank to get there & back). Also, in 2-3 months she & her fiance will be buying a yorkie puppy $800, they just purchased a pomeranian puppy 3 months ago? Saving for your wedding huh?
ladybengal
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Re: Bridesmaid Drop Out
that is so rude. I hope it works out that you forget it about and move on. Focus on the fact that you have other BM who love you enough to be there for you. I understand that you are pissed because I would be. Get it all out and hope for the best.
NickandTara426
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Sorry to hear I don't think you are being irrational at all! I think you were fair and you let her know in advance and now she doesn't have the money? I think she's being a little selfish if you don't mind my saying so
MEMEJOR
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Re: Bridesmaid Drop Out
i am so sorry to hear that... thats just not right... especially that u had to hear it from someone else
