Originally I wasn't going to have any bridesmaids-Since my FH has 3 brothers and I have 1 we were going to have them be the bridal party and there was also going to be a best man. Now I have had a change of heart. I have 3 close friends that I am asking and FH second brothers wife. Heres my dilemma....his third brother has been dating someone for 5 years so she is basically family. FH wants me to ask her to be a BM but we have no relationship, granted I live somewhere else but still..........we have no contact, nothing. FHs mom said its no big deal if I don't ask her, his cousin said that I should and he thinks that I should bc it will help us build a relationship. Im ok with all of that but Im not so sure that it wont be awkward for her. Anyone have any thoughts? She's a really sweet girl, I just wouldn't consider us friends. If it means that much to FH I certainly will but I wanted to get other thoughts..........
Espo22
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Re: Bridesmaid 'issue'...kinda- A bit long..sorry
honestly, if you dont really have a relationship with her then i dont think you need to. Don't let others tell you who you should have in your bp. I would keep those close to you and thats it. A bridal party shouldn't be a reason to get closer to someone, you can do it in other ways. If you dont mind though then go for it.
MrsKtoBe
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Re: Bridesmaid 'issue'...kinda- A bit long..sorry
If they arent married I wouldnt do it. You just never know. I was going to do the same for FH and after 6 years, they broke up! Just my experience.
Espo22
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Re: Bridesmaid 'issue'...kinda- A bit long..sorry
Posted by MrsKtoBe
If they arent married I wouldnt do it. You just never know. I was going to do the same for FH and after 6 years, they broke up! Just my experience.
VERY good point. I was going to ask BIL's gf. I get along with her great, she is a big part of his family. They ended up breaking up, but then they got back together before the wedding, or more just seeing eachother so she was at the wedding.
bluegreen08
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Re: Bridesmaid 'issue'...kinda- A bit long..sorry
Posted by MrsKtoBe
If they arent married I wouldnt do it. You just never know. I was going to do the same for FH and after 6 years, they broke up! Just my experience.
I agree -- I was in a similar situation with BIL's girlfriend. We were not close at all, they were dating 2 years but living together, and I asked DH if I needed to ask her to be a BM since BIL was going to be one of our best men. He said he didn't think it was necessary.... and I was relieved. (I ended up choosing my sis as MOH, and 3 close friends and a cousin as BMs). Definitely turned out to be for the best because they broke up 8 months before our wedding!
MrsList09
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Re: Bridesmaid 'issue'...kinda- A bit long..sorry
I don't think you need to either. It might put her on the spot and it's also a financial commitment to be in someone's wedding. BMs have to spend $$$ for dress, hair, shoes, makeup .
meara
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Re: Bridesmaid 'issue'...kinda- A bit long..sorry
yeah I don't think you need to. your bridal party is about having folks close to you, and to support you and be part of your day. I don't think she will be offended.
beram63
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Re: Bridesmaid 'issue'...kinda- A bit long..sorry
Posted by Espo22
honestly, if you dont really have a relationship with her then i dont think you need to. Don't let others tell you who you should have in your bp. I would keep those close to you and thats it. A bridal party shouldn't be a reason to get closer to someone, you can do it in other ways. If you dont mind though then go for it.
ITA.
Jennmolloy
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Re: Bridesmaid 'issue'...kinda- A bit long..sorry
IMO I don't think that you need to include her as a BM. I would make sure that you allow him to bring her along with all of the BP this way she won't feel out of place or abandoned.
NikkiR515
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Re: Bridesmaid 'issue'...kinda- A bit long..sorry
Posted by beram63
Posted by Espo22
honestly, if you dont really have a relationship with her then i dont think you need to. Don't let others tell you who you should have in your bp. I would keep those close to you and thats it. A bridal party shouldn't be a reason to get closer to someone, you can do it in other ways. If you dont mind though then go for it.
ITA.
Me too! Your bridesmaids should be the closest people to you.. The ones you really want to be around you on the most important day of your life..Therefore it should totally be your decision!
