Bridesmaid - Need advice

LenaNY Posted: Dec 16, 2002 09:30 PM

Bridesmaid - Need advice

Hello Ladies!

No I am not a bride-to-be (just yet) but we are getting there . You girls seem to be having so much fun that I am getting impatient waiting for
Anyway, I need your help. A very good friend asked me to be her bridesmaid, however she and her FH are our mutual friends. In fact my bf knows them longer than I know them. The groom has two brothers and 2 cousins, and the bride is having 4 girls in her BP, so he is not asking my BF. I don't really want to do it without him ( he might get a little ) but I also feel very uncomfortable saying no to the bride. They are our friends and it's her special day after all. I have no idea what to do so everyone is

Sorry it' got so long.

Sonicstef Posted: Dec 16, 2002 09:33 PM

Re: Bridesmaid - Need advice

I dont see any reason why your boyfriend wouldnt be happy for you to have a friendship with his friends. Do it!

wacky Posted: Dec 16, 2002 09:46 PM

Re: Bridesmaid - Need advice

Whats wrong with you being in the bridal party? Hell be at the wedding

jennbaby Posted: Dec 16, 2002 10:32 PM

Re: Bridesmaid - Need advice

I say do it. Your bf will be with you most of the day anyway.

alina Posted: Dec 17, 2002 10:09 AM

Re: Bridesmaid - Need advice

Lena:
Can your friend have a lopsided bridal party, 5 groomsmen and 4 bridemaids? Of if your boyfriend is not in the wedding party, can you be seated with him for the reception? I know the bride is supposed to be making these decisions, but perhaps you can suggest it to her gently, without being pushy or ultimatumey?

We originally planned to have 5 groomsmen and 5 bridemaids, but one of the groomsmen is married, and I didn't want his wife in my bridal party. So she wouldn't let him be a groomsman without her being a bridemaid. Now we're having 5 bridemaids and 4 groomsmen, and at the reception, all our friends will be seated together, irrespective whether they're in a wedding party or not. There will be two or may be three tables, where all the 'younger' people will sit.

Alina

OctBride03 Posted: Dec 17, 2002 10:15 AM

Re: Bridesmaid - Need advice

It is okay if they have a lopsided bridal party, however, you do not want your BF to be asked out of pity. That would be worse!

I think your BF would be happy for you! It just works out the the groom in this situation has more family than friends. I'm sure he does not think that he is offending your BF in any way. If you are concerned over it. Why don't you just ask your BF if he will be upset.

Honestly, I think you may be worrying over nothing! Good luck!

mv1003 Posted: Dec 17, 2002 10:16 AM

Re: Bridesmaid - Need advice

I think it's really cute that you are concerned for your bf's feelings. I'm sure he'd be thrilled for you- guys don't usually care about that stuff. I say if you want to be a part of her party- be a part of it.

NovemberSue Posted: Dec 17, 2002 10:17 AM

Re: Bridesmaid - Need advice

I say 'do it' also. Your boyfriend will be there too.

dkga1026 Posted: Dec 17, 2002 10:27 AM

Re: Bridesmaid - Need advice

do it and have fun!!

nrvbrd Posted: Dec 17, 2002 11:11 AM

Re: Bridesmaid - Need advice

Just do it.

Your Bf cannot be involved in EVERYTHING that you do.

That was a nice gesture on her part to ask you.

sept20yay! Posted: Dec 17, 2002 11:21 AM

Re: Bridesmaid - Need advice

do it!!! definitely! BF willl understand. Nice gesture on her part , I agree and the decision nnot to ask was noting personal.

LenaNY Posted: Dec 17, 2002 02:29 PM

Re: Bridesmaid - Need advice

Thank you girls!

You made me feel so much better . I am sure my BF will understand. I just don't want him to feel left out. I guess I should go for it.

I would not want to mention anything to our friends, because if I were in their place I would want to be the one calling all the shots about planning the wedding and the BP.
I am probably making too big of a deal out of it.

I was in a BP last summer and a photographer kept taking pictures of BP 'couples' So now I have a bunch of proofs with a guy I barely know. I guess I am being silly, but I hope their photographer is not going to do the same thing

alina Posted: Dec 17, 2002 02:45 PM

Re: Bridesmaid - Need advice

Lena, bring a camera to a wedding to take pictures of yourself and boyfriend together!!!

LenaNY Posted: Dec 17, 2002 02:56 PM

Re: Bridesmaid - Need advice

Thanks Alina. I'll make sure I'll do that

Betty Posted: Dec 17, 2002 03:59 PM

Re: Bridesmaid - Need advice

Do it...he'll be at the wedding with you!!

karen32 Posted: Dec 17, 2002 05:44 PM

Re: Bridesmaid - Need advice

You should definitely be in it. Honestly, your BF will probably have more fun by not being in it. How many men really enjoy being in a tux all day and being photographed??? Not many!! This way he can have a good time.

Good Luck!!!

jpsgirl Posted: Dec 17, 2002 06:02 PM

Re: Bridesmaid - Need advice

I think we don't realize how much guys don't even think about this stuff!!! If it was the other way around, we'd feel hurt of course, but most guys wouldn't even give it a second thought!!