Bridesmaid Problem

mrswask Posted: Nov 25, 2003 09:28 AM

Bridesmaid Problem

Help!! I really want my bridesmaids to wear strapless dresses. My best friend - who is large-chested does not want to wear one. I want her to be comfortable, but I really would like a strapless dress. I have a really big chest too - and I certainly have dealt with strapless dress situations.
I know a lot of you will suggest to let her get a different style - however I am planning on having my bridesmaids wear the same dress - in different pastel shades - so if you start changing the actual dress - there is no uniformity and it doesn't look like right anymore!
We haven't gone looking yet - this is just a conversation we were having.
Any advice? Thanks!!

ChristineC68 Posted: Nov 25, 2003 09:33 AM

Re: Bridesmaid Problem

It's a rough situation, but she knows what she could have been in for when she accepted your invitation to be in the BP. It's a shame she may put you in the position to pull rank.

I think a properly fitted strapless gown with the right undergarments is really flattering - maybe when she sees that she will change her mind.

BMD'sPeanut Posted: Nov 25, 2003 09:35 AM

Re: Bridesmaid Problem

That's funny. I had the opposite problem. I really wanted my girls to wear sleeves and they really wanted to wear strapless (some of them anyway)
Oh well. You really have to just wait and see how it goes.

Kelly9904 Posted: Nov 25, 2003 09:35 AM

Re: Bridesmaid Problem

I have the same issue my MOH is large chested where as one of my BM has almost no chest! I want the same dress but what I am trying to do is get a dress that all feel comfortable in. My MOH didnt want strapless at first but after trying on a few that have good coverage she is okay with it. However I have told them all that if it would make them more comfortable they can have spagetti straps added. She said she might do that and then only use them at the reception when she is dancing and whatnot if she doenst feel comfortable!

neen Posted: Nov 25, 2003 10:07 AM

Re: Bridesmaid Problem

Same problem here. I have three girls (out of 5) with large chests (D cup) and they were really hesitant about getting strapless. I in fact was not sure if I wanted them to wear strapless. But when we went to look at dresses they looked great on them. I think if the dress is fitted correctly it will be comfortable and look great. Remind them that the will look great and make sure you go to a place with a great seamstress--you do not want too much cleavage showing. Also, it is your wedding and I would have kicked myself if I let the BP rule the show! Put your foot down in a really nice and sweet way.

jmarshall Posted: Nov 25, 2003 10:25 AM

Re: Bridesmaid Problem

Same problem. My MOH has a large chest and will just have given birth a month earlier so her chest will be even bigger! I really wanted strapless dresses too. We decided to order the strapless dresses. When they come in, we may have the straps added. It's about a $10 charge. I'm hoping that when the dresses are fitted properly, they won't want the straps. But if they want them, that's fine. I really want them to be comfortable!

dolphin Posted: Nov 25, 2003 10:59 AM

Re: Bridesmaid Problem

Here is what I am doing.
I ordered an extra yard of the same material as the dress (cost me $20) and the bridal shop will make the girls straps to put on the dress. The girls were soo excited about my flexibility that they told me they would not wear the straps for pictures but just for dancing

shelzyp Posted: Nov 25, 2003 11:05 AM

Re: Bridesmaid Problem

Why doesn't she just have small spaghetti straps put on hers.

MindyL28 Posted: Nov 25, 2003 11:30 AM

Re: Bridesmaid Problem

I personally think that large chested girls look better in strapless dresses- I have a large chest and I am always more comfortable in strapless dresses (as long as I have a good bra) because I feel that straps make me look bigger. Has she tried it on yet? Maybe she'll like it. Sometimes the thought of 'strapless' is intimidating, especially for large- chested girls. But as I said, I find it flattering!

I like the idea of having straps added- it's easy and inexpensive! That way, she can wear the straps for dancing and other things but she can wear it strapless for the pictures. How would she feel with that?

Spitzergirl Posted: Nov 25, 2003 05:47 PM

Re: Bridesmaid Problem

Honey....

I am a 34D, and I ranted and raved, when I was put into a wedding that required a backless teeny tiny speghetti string tie in the back....the dress was so sexy, it showed some stomach too. That is how open it was.

Luckily, I found an Italian seamstress and she sewn into the dress two cups, but this is not the type of cups that you see for girls who are A, B, C cups...this is the cups that have the stickyness on the sides. What she did was cut around the bust part of the bra..and she took both cups and sew it into the dress. I was able to wear my chest as high up / or as low as I wanted. I love her!!!!!

Needless to say, when I went to the wedding-(out of town) - the other bridesmaid, could not believe there eyes. I was even attacked and angrily..asked 'ARE YOU WEARING A BRA'?.

I had the biggest chest out of all of them and mines stood up and out Like they were implants!!!!!!

I was one happy chick that day!!!!!!!!!!

palebride Posted: Nov 25, 2003 05:59 PM

Re: Bridesmaid Problem

personally - i'd want my bridesmaids to be happy - so i'd say go for something they all agree on - see if she can get straps put on.
think of the nasty faces she'll make in your pictures if she's miserable in her dress!

swags1016 Posted: Nov 25, 2003 06:05 PM

Re: Bridesmaid Problem

I know what you mean. I originally selected the girls dresses because they were halter style and matched mine. SIL suggested that it would look better if it were spaghetti straps. I didn't want to hear it. They were unhappy about having to wear bridal bras or halter bra. Well to make the long story short- when the seamstress showed me how nice they would look as spaghetti straps I went for it and I didn't regret my decision.

My point is this- I am also large chested and I am not comfortable in strapless dresses. My breasts are heavy and the few times I have worn a strapless dress, I find that I am spending all night pulling up my dress. As thin as spaghetti straps are they do help. I like you had a look in mind, but I also would not want a picture with a girls boobs hanging out or pictures where oops my BM just happened to be pulling her dress up all night!!

Ok writing this makes me start wishing for a breast reduction again!

I hope everything works out for you. Please think about it, before you make your decision, because in the end it is your day but you want people to be comfortable.

sa070204 Posted: Nov 25, 2003 08:07 PM

Re: Bridesmaid Problem

My girls are of all shapes and sizes for my bridal party and they are wearing a strapless gown. I took my 'biggest' girls to try on the dress before I decided. Thankfully they all loved it. So you never know. Tell her to give it a chance.

Smolokoff Posted: Nov 25, 2003 09:55 PM

Re: Bridesmaid Problem

I am large, and large chested, and I love wearing strapless dresses, If you find the right cut, like an a-line dress, it can be very flattering.

kathleenmarie Posted: Nov 25, 2003 10:06 PM

Re: Bridesmaid Problem

I am a big girl and I have various size girls in my party. I'm making them wear a clolor they dont prefere, I wouldnt want to make them feel uncomfortable in a strapless if they didnt want to. Most of my girls did want sleeves because of the arm issue. I picked a dress that would look good on all of them and that they all felt comfortable in. I would back out of a wedding if I were asked to wear a strapless. That might not be a popular thing to say, but I really fell that way. I would cry my eyes out in a strapless! Just my feelings .

JimmysBride Posted: Nov 25, 2003 10:09 PM

Re: Bridesmaid Problem

I like dolphin's idea -- actually, her BMs offer to not wear the straps for the pics and then add them later. I think that's what I would go with. I personally don't want my BMs wearing strapless and will avoid it if I can. I don't want to watch them tugging at the tops of their gowns all day and night on my wedding video! Not to mention their discomfort. I know firsthand because I'm also big boobied and had to wear a strapless for my friend's wedding. Everyone says that if they are fitted well (like they should be) this shouldn't happen. But it did. And these were $300 designer gowns! It looks awful in the wedding video...every three seconds someone's boobies were being hiked back up to where they should be!! LOL!!

PrincessRose Posted: Nov 26, 2003 08:25 PM

Re: Bridesmaid Problem

I'm large chested (38DD, size 14 at Lane Bryant) and I LOVE Strapless Dresses.

Just make sure she has a Good Bra (I highly recommend Fredericks of Hollywood for Plus Size bras), and make sure that she has it altered by a professional.

It should all go okay.

oakslady Posted: Nov 27, 2003 06:42 PM

Re: Bridesmaid Problem

suggestion - let her waer a jacket this way you get the dress you want and she is comfortable too -
i am a big gal myself and if someone made me wear a strapless i would be mortified.

kim425 Posted: Nov 28, 2003 04:08 PM

Re: Bridesmaid Problem

What if you had them wear a shawl with the dress?

rls32 Posted: Nov 28, 2003 04:57 PM

Re: Bridesmaid Problem

I've seen some cases where a seamstress can put on detachable straps. This way your bridesmaid can wear a strapless gown for the ceremony and pics but can put on the straps for the reception so she can be comforable.