Bridesmaid Problem...

I have a sticky situation. I have friend since we were in high school, and we always assumed we would bridesmaids in each others wedding. I got engaged first..and when I told her she said well the only way I can come to the wedding (she lives in Maryland) if I'm a bridesmaid. I did not respond to this. Now I have decided not to ask her for my own reasons...I just don't know how to tell her. She just got engaged and is getting married before me and has asked me to be in the bridal party. It will be a small affair, and I don't want to say no. I never formally asked her..and we haven't spoke about my bridal party, yet I think she assumes she's in it. I really need some help on how to approach her..should I not say anything at all and let her assume she is not included? Should I tell her? We're not best friends...more like long distance phone buddies. Help...

Ladies and Gents,

Bridesmaid Problem...

STICKY SITUATION... I think that you should definately tell her, although it will not be easy. I dont know who you are having in your bridal party or how many, but maybe you can say something like "I am keeping the bridal party small, but I would like you to help me with my wedding." "I have to add in my fiances family" or basically just tell her the truth that you feel like you have grown apart and youre not as close as you used to be.

If she persists in saying she's not coming to your wedding unless shes in the bridal party, well you may not need that aggravation.

Good Luck!!

Bridesmaid Problem...

In a very tactful way, have her consider saving the money from having to buy a bridesmaid dress, dyed shoes, jewelry, etc. and put it towards her travel expences...

what may be possible

Is that your friend may have been a bit flip about it wit her remark. Maybe in her heart, she was teasing you. Since weddings are an emotional rollercoaster, and I am a prime example of that, her remarks maybe, just maybe were taken out of context. In either case, I think you should speak with her. you cannot assume that if you don't bring it up, she will KNOW she is no in the bridal party, esp since you are in hers.

Good luck and let us know how it turns out!

I don't want the vendors to leave this site. They are helpful. Never seen any other vendors have a problem!

Bridesmaid Problem...

What I was thinking about doing was sort of what your friend did Phyl. Casually bring up that my next duty is to pick out the bridesmaid dresses.. and to get all the cousins and family together to pick them out will be hard yadda yadda yadda. Or tell her I'm thinking of a small bridal party.But that would be a lie, and she'll see that I have 6 six girls at the wedding. I want to aviod saying, "Your not one". Honestly, I have too many maids and I don't want to go overboard. True we've grown apart, but I will feel awful if I have to tell her that. My fiance thinks that I shouldn't say anything since I never asked her or have included her in any way...still confused!

I don't want the vendors to leave this site. They are helpful. Never seen any other vendors have a problem!