bridesmaid question...is anyone having this problem too?

I am having a MOH and 2 bridesmaids in my bridal party. I chose my MOH for 2 reasons: 1st, she is the closest female relative I have, 2nd, I didn`t want to have to choose between my 2 good friends as to who would be MOH (so they are my bridesmaids) A couple of problems arose immediately: my MOH lives in VA, and 1 bridesmaid lives in Yonkers...the other lives nearby. Ever since I started planning, I have not felt like anyone wants to help me...it was like pulling teeth to try and get the bridesmaid who lives here to come with me for dresses. I actually went with my dad! It just seems like everything is a big hassle for them. And to add to the stress, the bridesmaid who doesn`t live here just had a baby! I have asked both of them if they really want to be in my wedding...I thought that would give them an out. But they both said yes and they are honored to take part. And they both bought their dress already also. I asked the bridesmaid who lives nearby if we are even going to have a bachelorette party!!! She told me that it`s the MOH`s job...I had to tell her that my situation is not normal, since my MOH lives out of state, and that it would be great if she helps out. DID I REALLY NEED TO TELL HER THAT?? Wouldn`t a good friend know that already?? It just doesn`t seem like anyone is excited about this at all! I am really beginning to regret having a bridal party at all. What do you all think? Am I asking too much? What should I have them do if anything? What gets me also is that after all this is said and done, I have to buy them a gift too?? For what?? Thanks for letting me vent. :)

Bnjoyful ~ No advice, just my sympathy... : ( *NM*

bridesmaid question...is anyone having this problem too?

That is a tough situation. You have to remember that your friends are not going to be as excited about your wedding as you are. Have you tried to talk to all of them. Tell them that you really need their help. Explain to them what you would like them to do. Maybe they are not sure of their jobs. I am sorry I do not have better advice. I am keeping my party small also and am not relying on anyone but my two sisters in my bridal party. Good Luck!!

bridesmaid question...is anyone having this problem too?

My MOH is my sister in S. Jersey, and my BM is my FSIL in CT. They have both been wonderful in that they both got their dresses and shoes as soon as we all agreed on them. They offer to help, but what can they do from such a distance. I guess I went into this knowing it was going to be me doing everything with my FH. I wish my sister had offered to go look at dresses with me, but she hasn't. A friend who isn't in my bridal party has offered though! I know what you are going through, but I have no answers. I just go about my merry planning way doing things with my FH. I get upset too, at times, but then I just accept the situation and try not to let it ruin the planning process.

thanks...

I am trying to not let it bother me. I guess I just wish I had my mom, or a sister to help me. I would think that my friends realize this...I guess not, or they are just too busy in their own lives to see it. I don't know. Diana, I too, have a friend who said she'd help me...and she lives in Philadelphia! But I think I am going to ask her to come visit and maybe do some shopping! I just think this is a time that should be shared..it makes it more fun. Thanks again everyone... :) JOY

bnjoyful, I'm going through the EXACT same thing!!

I have 2 BM's and a MOH. My MOH lives in upstate NY and just had a baby. She also works weekends and is off during the week (she is a nurse). She can never be around because she HAS to work on the weekends. I of course work during the week. It's a 3 1/2 hour trip for her to come here, never mind having to bring the baby, and the fact that she just bought a new house. She has no money to put towards my shower (she told this to one of my BM's), she has no way to plan it (since she lives so far away) and she can't even help me pick flowers or a headpiece or anything. One of my BM's lives not too far away, but she also just bought a house and is in the process of closing/packing. My last BM goes to school and works and has a 3 year old son, so she has no time at all, or if she did I wouldn't know because she never even calls me to see if I need any help. I feel like my bridal party is not very supportive. They all got married last year, and I feel like they are recovering from their own 'wedding burn out'. My mother lives in Florida, and I live in Brooklyn. I have no family here, so I have to do all this stuff alone. Sometimes I wish I had someone who was into doing wedding things with me (aside from my fiance), but I try not to think about it, because it makes me a little angry, but mostly sad. So while I have no advice for you, At least you know that you are not the only one who is going through this. I just tell my self that everyone has their own life, and their own stuff going on. I doubt that makes you feel any better, but that's all I've got. P.S. I am not buying them gifts... Like you said- for what?