Bridesmaid VENT!

Ugh, just a little heartbroken. I recently send cards out to my 6 bridesmaids that I got made by someone on Etsy. I decided to include all of my cousins in my party since we're a close knit family. My youngest bridesmaid who is 16 right now TEXT MESSAGED ME today when she got the card to say she does not want to be in my party because she 'isn't the get dolled up type but more conservative' and told my uncle that she doesn't want to wear 6 inch heels. NEVER did I say I wanted anyone to feel uncomfortable in huge heels and wouldn't ask anyone to wear something they didn't want to. She is young and I took into consideration that she will be 18 when we get married in 2014.
When rationalizing it, I don't want someone in my wedding who does not want to be there. But at the same time, I was not expecting someone in my family to drop out. She didn't even give me a chance to show her dresses. I don't have many close friends and can't even think of someone else I'd want to be in my party to make an even number. I'm so distraught and kind of stressed. HELP!!

Bridesmaid VENT!

I wouldn't stress about having an even number, if need be you can always have two groomsmen walk with one of your bridesmaids. At the end of the day, you only want people in your wedding that want to be there, she's still young so maybe she's just going through her awkward stage - we've all been there. I wouldn't take it personal,maybe she's just opting out because she knows she's not reliable and doesn't want the responsibility, in which case, you're better off without the added stress. Don't let it ruin your day, everything will be perfect no matter what!

Bridesmaid VENT!

Keep in mind, she is only 16 and prolly immature. I would have a face to face convo and explain to her.

Bridesmaid VENT!

My future SIL (who is WAY older) basically did the same thing. Who knows what the reasoning is. I think it's just a basic discomfort with being 'on stage' - or something else - but basically a discomfort on their part about something! Don't take it personally. It's not about you. And don't even give an unbalanced BP a second thought. I have 8 girls and 5 guys. So what! :) Be happy with the love that will surround you.

Re: Bridesmaid VENT!

She's a teenager. Think back to that age. I couldn't be bothered half the time to do anything besides hanging out at the mall with my friends. It's also 2 years from your wedding date. I know it's exciting to get engaged and you want to go around planning EVERYTHING at the very moment, but I think you asked people way too early. As for having an even number...I don't have an even number either and I'm sure I'm not the only one here.

You have 2 years until your wedding. There is no reason why you should be stressed out. Sit back, take your time, and enjoy the planning process.

Bridesmaid VENT!

we had an uneven amount at a friends wedding due to a last minute drop out (like after puttng 1/2 deposit down on dress) and it was FINE !

Re: Bridesmaid VENT!

I would give her another chance-- heck, maybe even a few 'other chances', especially if she would be the only cousin not included if she declines. Her idea of being in a wedding is probably some cross between 'Say Yes to the Dress Bridesmaids' and Bridesmaids the movie. It may be true that she doesn't love to get dolled up, but someone (perhaps a sibling or even a parent) can remind her that she will probably feel really left out in two years when all of her close family is standing up there in support of you and she is not.

Also, I have some BMs who are not the 'dolled up' type either. My way of giving a nod to those girls, I let them pick whatever shoes they want. My girls are in long gowns and I told them to pick whatever they want. One picked a really casual pair of shoes--- it would never be my preference, but no one is going to even see the shoes and she loved them. You could consider doing something like this if it would help get everyone on board.

Bridesmaid VENT!

I would leave it alone. If she doesnt want to be part of it then thats her issue. Plus she might change her mind in 2 years when shes a bit older and sees you doing things with the bp that she wont be part of. I would not worry an uneven number. I have an uneven number too but Im not going to add people to my wedding because I want an even number I choose people who are important o me.

Bridesmaid VENT!

I was 16 when my sister PUT me in her wedding. I clearly told her and my mother I rather drop dead. I hated dresses especially the ones with tulle underneath (brought back horrible memories of itching as a child). Plus I suffer from stage fright....it was horrible being part of the wedding part.
If being dressed up isn't the norm for a person they may rather show their support by being a witness. You cant assume that just because your close to someone that it means that they want to be a bridesmaid and all the challengs that come with it. Thats why you ask people without any implications.

Bridesmaid VENT!

She is young and probably doesnt realize he magnitude of her actions/decision to drop out. Do her parents know she sent you this text? She honestly may just be either over whelmed or blah about everything she might have to do for the wedding. Shes young dont hold it against her :( If you have an uneven number just have the two grooms men walk with one bridesmaids. it will be ok

Bridesmaid VENT!

Thanks everyone :) I've calmed down shorty after this post and realized it is her decision and I don't want anyone to feel uncomfortable in my party. I understand her decision and after reading many posts, I am okay with having an uneven amount of BM to GM. I am happy she will be a guest at the wedding. I guess at the time of writing this I was just in shock!