BRIDESMAID VENT! HELP!!!!

I have a situation that I need help dealing with! I am stuck in the middle of this one! I wish I didn't know the details of this but I do.

I have a best friend who lives in TN and I asked her to be in my wedding. I don't have much family I am close with and only have 3 close girl friends. My best friend here in NY took it upon herself to lash out on my sister, who is my MOH. Telling her she feels my out of towner Bridesmaid should pay for the shower. And if she doesn't I should ask her to drop out if the wedding!! How can my sister ask her for money when she is not even going to be here for the shower? Isn't the same thing if I asked a family member who didn't live in NY to be in the wedding. My sister said if it was the other way around and it was a family member she wouldn't ask her for money.

My bestfriend here in NY then went into how her father has money he can pay for it. Personally, I don't see what business it is of hers. She doesn't know her and he pains me to see her act like this. She said Bridesmaid don't pay for a shower the Mother of the bride does. She says she thought the shower was only going to a $100 dollars! My sister already has been pricing things and she said even if my out of town bridesmaid lived in NY it would still be more than $100!

I don't understand what her dam problem is! I am the bride not her. It's my descion who I want in the wedding. I am just so sick of all the crap that has happened to me since I became engaged in October!

What do you all think??

There must be issues with Sept 08 bridesmaids...

I have a ex-Bridesmaid who lives here and is or was insisting that my MOH (FH Sister, who doesnt live in the same state as me) should pay for the shower because she knows FH Family has money. #1 I never asked for a shower nor really did I want one FH and i have been LTBM for years our wedding is 'the end' of our story. To make a long story short I am now down to a MOH and a Jr. Bridesmaid. I had one Bidesmaid that FH didnt like and now is not in it. I had one (the one with the shower issues) decided she couldnt afford the dress (David's Bridal $137) so she is not in it. Of course she also sided with a new employee at work that she made it her mission to get me out of there for 3 months and it worked, so no big loss. My daughter she is 18 doesn't like any of the dress (I am having them all wear different dresses in the same color) so she won't wear a dress she doesnt like.

LOVELY Bridesmaid choices huh?

Anyway to your VENT (sorry the thought of BM is driving me over the edge). How can she expect someone to pay who is not even in the same state and from what I understand the MOH if she lives in the same area usually hosts the Bridal Shower and shares the cost of it with the other BM's (supposedly they ALL chip in). To be honest everyone I know who was a MOH just went ahead and paid for the shower herself.

Personally I would just remind her of whose wedding it is anyway ... i have had to do that already myself and as nice as i tried to be to the person she went into a rage, sometimes I feel a wedding is not worth the hassle.... I have actually suggested to FH eloping and just doing a reception on our choosen wedding date.

GOOD LUCK !!!!

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Posted by JodyLC

There must be issues with Sept 08 bridesmaids...

I have a ex-Bridesmaid who lives here and is or was insisting that my MOH (FH Sister, who doesnt live in the same state as me) should pay for the shower because she knows FH Family has money. #1 I never asked for a shower nor really did I want one FH and i have been LTBM for years our wedding is 'the end' of our story. To make a long story short I am now down to a MOH and a Jr. Bridesmaid. I had one Bidesmaid that FH didnt like and now is not in it. I had one (the one with the shower issues) decided she couldnt afford the dress (David's Bridal $137) so she is not in it. Of course she also sided with a new employee at work that she made it her mission to get me out of there for 3 months and it worked, so no big loss. My daughter she is 18 doesn't like any of the dress (I am having them all wear different dresses in the same color) so she won't wear a dress she doesnt like.

LOVELY Bridesmaid choices huh?

Anyway to your VENT (sorry the thought of BM is driving me over the edge). How can she expect someone to pay who is not even in the same state and from what I understand the MOH if she lives in the same area usually hosts the Bridal Shower and shares the cost of it with the other BM's (supposedly they ALL chip in). To be honest everyone I know who was a MOH just went ahead and paid for the shower herself.

Personally I would just remind her of whose wedding it is anyway ... i have had to do that already myself and as nice as i tried to be to the person she went into a rage, sometimes I feel a wedding is not worth the hassle.... I have actually suggested to FH eloping and just doing a reception on our choosen wedding date.

GOOD LUCK !!!!

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WOW that is some story!!!! You know what I wish??? People to mind their own business! Whose wedding is it?? Oh yeah that's right Mine!!! My sister is going nuts. Places are really expensive! I don't want her paying crazy money like that! I told her just to have it here at the house with catered food!! It's crazy!!!

I just wish I didn't have to know about things like this!! I got almost 4 more months till the wedding!!!

I feel like, if you ask someone to be in the wedding they should help take on the financial responsibility for the shower regardless if they are going or not. It seems to me that it's not fair to ask all the other bridesmaids to pay and not have her pay because she does not live instate and is not going to be able to attend. Although, I do feel that it is none of your friends business who you invite to be in your party, and she should not say whether or not you should kick someone out of your party, but I do tend to agree with her...if one bridesmaid is helping to pay for the shower, then all bridesmaids should help pay for the shower, regardless of whether or not they are going... Unless there is some financial difficulties that were discussed ahead of time, but then again this is just my opinion
My mother passed, so I know my bridesmaids are going to help out my maid-of-honor, and 2 of them live out of state, but I still feel like they should help her... do I make any sense?? ha ha I'm rambling... sorry

OMG!!! it's too funny!! well not really cause we all may be insane by September!!! The bad thing here everyone told me i would be a bridezilla and i haven't yet it is my BM's that have went nuts!!! LOL!!

GOOD LUCK GIRLS!!! I know I need it.

honestly i don't understand why your best friend is getting all up in everyone's business!!

however to be fair---my girls didn't pay for the shower--my mom paid for most of it--and they paid for about a 1/4 of the shower plus all decorations & favors. perhaps your best friend is getting upset cause she didn't figure the BMs would have to pay for your shower. for me personally....i would have thought the same thing--that the mom would pay for the shower and the girls could pay for decorations and such. it can be quite an undertaking to pay for all that stuff when you are a BM.

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Posted by jaep129

Its your day and you should tell your friend if $ is an issue she should of never agreed to be part of it and understands if she feels she has to drop out!

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Here's the thing...My bestfriend doesn't know I know!!!!

But I swear I wanna make a list of eveyone that budded in during the planning and it will be dealt with after the wedding, after honeymoon!!!

I'll trade two slimey-limey GMs for one wacky BM.