bridesmaids being difficult!!!!!!!!!!!

i got engaged last october. picked out the bridesmaid dresses before anything. daivds bridal has mix and matches.

so i figured each girl could have the same brown skirt and pick a light pink top- to their liking. so it will also fit them better - result in less alterations and less money all together.....

i tried to get them together in november 06... then again in january, then february, march and so on.

they have YET to go see the dress let alone try it on.

it is now june - and i am sooo mad.

my aunt & MOH have told me that none of them are calling her back about the shower.

this is making me really upset. not sure how to deal with this. im not asking them for much... and i dont understand how all i want is one afternoon at david bridal together.

am i being unreasonable?

I had a similar situation. I was engaged last September and finally got my girls together a few weeks ago for their fitting a David's. But it was b/c of one difficult girl. At first I asked my MOH to come with me to scout dresses and she NEVER had the time. Always busy. I should have just asked another bridesmaid but I though MOHs were supposed to do things like help you pick out the dress you would decide for everyone. So finally in March I asked another bridesmaid to go and she helped me choose a gown. I couldn't believe my MOH had NO TIME in SIX MONTHS to help me look for a dress?!?!? She really did not seem interested. When I asked her (super nicely) if she would prefer to attend my wedding as a guest instead of being in the party b/c it looked like her schedule was filled to the brim, she caught a fit! She told me she had no problem not being my maid of honor and in a very un-nice tone said, 'It's your wedding, do what makes you happy!' Ugh. I then told her it would be best if she wasn't in my party.
Weddings bring out the worst in people, and those who are true friends will come through. I remember reading a piece of advice that I wish I listened to: Wait a while before choosing your party. Those who genuinely want to be a part of your big day will show themselves.

My advice: Give them a deadline to go in. You can ask them to tell you when they make their appt so you can go with them if you want. Whoever doesn't get their dress by the deadline will obviously not get to be in the party. I know it's harsh but sometimes you have to get a fire under their butts!

i think you should email/call your BM's and let them know that they have until XX date to get their BM dresses handled--and make sure you explain to them that if they don't do this, it will make it more expensive and a hassle.

i would go so far as to say that your aunt and MOH have had no choice but to contact you sayign that no one has RSVP'd to the shower and say 'i did NOT want to be involved in this, but i have been given no choice because no on is being courteous enough to rsvp to them.'

if they don't want to handle their dresses and such in a timely manner, than you have to ask yourself whether they really want to be in your BP

thanks. im glad that i am not the only one.

i just feel that i completely not a bridezilla, and have given a lot of freedom to these 5 girls. i want them to feel good, and look good and have fun at the wedding. i havent been demanding or had them help me do anything. i told them the reason i picked mix and matches was for them to all look good, and have less alterations.

i went dress shopping with my family, got my dress on my own, maid my own invitations, made my own favors, and wishing bowl, and am now designing labels for the lifesavers and mints - alone.

i thought these are supposed to be my best girls? and its fine that none of them are married, and know what to do... all i need is them just to be there once in a while.

a few weeks after i got engaged, i made baskets for each of them, with hand made dress cookies saying 'will you be my bridesmaid' on it and hand delivered (i live in Westchester now by the way) each basket to their houses asking them to be my bridesmaids. This was in November.

i agree that they can all by themselves. however, in email they actually all wanted to go as a group. there is only 5 of them, who all live less that 15 minutes away from davids bridal in westbury. this will literally take less than 2 hours.

i picked out my dress in less than an hour. (including trying them on)

i really feel that ive gone above the normal standards. - and have gotten zilch back.

The only one i have seen is my MOH since November.

my fiancé is getting upset now too...

yes, i am going to give them a 'DUE DATE' which i really dont think should be the case with 24/25 year old women...but i will see how responsive they are to that.

somehow all they keep talking about is how fun the bachelorette(sp.) party is going to be. i wonder if they will actually plan that too, or if last minute i will be picking up pieces.

sorry - had to vent.

It is difficult ~ I was being alittle bit 2 flexible in the beginning and giving lots of choices ~ I wanted my dresses ordered 11/2006 (I originally had three BM OOT = since then two had dropped out) they were ordered end of February beginning of March but I had to be firm with them to order there dresses ~ I gave them a deadline and said they would be charged rush fees if they did not go by this date...well needless to say it was done ~ no one wants to pay more $ if they don't have too...

I am sorry u are having a not so good time with your BM at this moment but be firm and stick to your guns...

Give them a due date when they have to get the dresses by. Your wedding is right before mine, and they should have ordered the dresses already. YOU do not need to have this stress.

My MOH is the only girl in my BP. I did not want the hassle of a larger group of people. I let her choose her dress in whatever color she wished, as long as it was a darker fall color. It took her 3 months of shopping to find a dress !
Honestly, at one point I didn't care if she had a dress or not. I have mine !

Your BM need to step up to the plate and be part of the wedding party. It is not just a one day event where they show up alll dressed pretty.
If they cannot commit to something as simple as buying a dress, then perhaps they should come as guests. Never mind planning the bachelorette party. Plan on getting the BM dresses first !

Vent away. That is what we are all here for.

thanks so much guys. i cant believe i waited so long to join this! to think - you guys could have been here for me all along.

i could care less about their dresses as well.

i want pink and brown. and if they want to buy off the rack, that is fine with me too. i cant spin any more cycles. i wanted the daivds bridal mix and matches because they were cheap and easy.

ive kind of been in a rut about this wedding - and i just really needed them to be there for me. my parent died when i was little... and its hard going through a monumental occasion like this without them.


thank you all again! i appreciate it!