Bridesmaids dresses-bridal party can't agree - this is long

joan713 Posted: May 21, 2007 02:31 PM

Bridesmaids dresses-bridal party can't agree - this is long

My daughter has 4 girls in her bridal party. She has two MOH. One is her Godmother, the other FH sister. The maids are FH cousin and her 17 yr. old daughter. Her Godmother is a little heavy and we're trying to find a dress that will flatter her. The others are thin and can wear anything. The 3 thin girls had found a dress. When we showed her Godmother,she really didnt like it too much, but would have worn it. I was looking online and found a Bill Levkoff, style 555. Her godmother had actually almost bought that to wear to her daughters wedding! Anyway, my daughter & I went & she tried this dress. It looked beautiful. We took some pictures. Showed it to FH sister & her mom. Neither one said anything. Next day FH sister went to the mall and came home & told us she found a BEAUTIFUL dress!! She went looking by herself. My daughter looked at the picture and told her point blank that she didn't like it at all. They took the pictures to their cousin and she called my daughter today and said she and her daughter HATED the dress!! They liked the first one better. Well my daughter likes this one!! We're meeting on Wed. so they can try them both on. They haven't seen this one in person yet. My daughter is upset. She doens't want to keep running around shopping. She found the dress that she loves. If we still LOVE this dress better than the first one, can she put her foot down and say 'look this is MY wedding and this is THE DRESS I'd like the girls to wear'? She doesn't want to be difficult or a bridezilla, but it's a nice gown. Please, some responses would be helpful.

UPDATE: My daughter got a call from FSIL this afternoon. The cousin called her and told her that her daughter REFUSES to go with us on Wed.!! She ordered a prom dress from there and had some problems,so she wont even go with us. and the cousin says she doesnt like the dress, it's too plain, the skirt is too full (it's not), she doesnt like the spaghetti straps and on and on. My daugher is so pissed right now. She told FSIL that if this 17 yr. old girl doesn't show up Wed. she's OUT. I even told my daughter to compromise & have the two MOH in one dress and have the cousin & daughter pick out another dress by the same mfgr. that they both can agree on! I didn't plan on ordering from this place because I found this dress ALOT cheaper somewhere else, but we figured we could look at the first one they liked and this one. I'm just SO upset.

ZuzusPetals Posted: May 21, 2007 02:39 PM

Re: Bridesmaids dresses-bridal party can't agree - this is long

This is what I did ...

I have 6 women in my bridal party ... I picked out a gown and had all of the girls (at seperate times) try on the dress at their convenience ... Luickilly, they all loved the gown and it worked out. However, I did not give them full reign - I chose a few dresses that I liked and made them choose between them.

Tell your daughter to say listen ... 'I love you all and want you to be happy but I cannot get wrapped up in this dilemma. I have to be very efficient with all of the wedding plans and this is causing a lot of stress. Here are 4 gowns that I can envision the bridal party in - try them on at your convenience and then you can make a final decision amongst yourself. At this time, I really cannot be apart of this decision. Please let me know by ______ so we can start the order. Thank you for your understanding!

Something like that ... lol Is that helpful??

alison1daland Posted: May 21, 2007 02:45 PM

Re: Bridesmaids dresses-bridal party can't agree - this is long

omg, this is what I am hoping to avoid at all costs. I think the bride should just be able to say 'look, its my wedding and this is what I want, so deal with it' i mean its the truth, and if these girls can't deal with that, maybe they shouldn't be in the bridal party. The day is not about them... (as long as the bride takes reasonable requests into account, like a particularly humble or self-conscious person not wanting to wear a bright red pleather mini-skrt tube top dress, lol)

Kara and Todd Posted: May 21, 2007 02:49 PM

Re: Bridesmaids dresses-bridal party can't agree - this is long

As long as no one has any objections that they would feel very uncomfortable wearing the dress, then, yes, your daughter should just put her foot down. If, however, the girls are concerned that it will be uncomfortable or something (e.g., someone's really self conscious about strapless), some sort of concession should be made. You want the BMs to look and feel beautiful that day, not to feel awful in the dress.

Other than that, the bride picks the dress. She shouldn't have to go all over the free world just to please everyone.

joan713 Posted: May 21, 2007 02:54 PM

Re: Bridesmaids dresses-bridal party can't agree - this is long

Thanks for your responses. The two 'maids' are thin. One is 17 and size 2. Her mom is tiny & thin. FSIL said if this is what my daughter wants then she'll wear it. If the other 2 are totally against (I can't see why they should be) then maybe we can f ind another dress by the same mfgr. for the 2 bridesmaids. then the two MOH would be in one dress and the other 2 in another style, same color. How would that be?

ksl268 Posted: May 21, 2007 03:12 PM

Re: Bridesmaids dresses-bridal party can't agree - this is long

My BM's and I had this problem. I listened to what each one said they liked about a certain dress and narrowed down to 2 or 3 things they agreed on....like all wanted strapless and tea length. I took it from there and found a dress that I liked and they did too!

Dalito322 Posted: May 21, 2007 03:16 PM

Re: Bridesmaids dresses-bridal party can't agree - this is long

Posted by joan713

Thanks for your responses. The two 'maids' are thin. One is 17 and size 2. Her mom is tiny & thin. FSIL said if this is what my daughter wants then she'll wear it. If the other 2 are totally against (I can't see why they should be) then maybe we can f ind another dress by the same mfgr. for the 2 bridesmaids. then the two MOH would be in one dress and the other 2 in another style, same color. How would that be?

I like this idea in general. Putting the MOH's in one style and the BMs in another will separate them, but keep the overall theme as they'll be in the same color. I've been to a couple of weddings where the BMs are in the same color but different style dresses, and it looks very pretty.

But on the other hand, if your daughter definitely wants them all in the same dress, then she should put her foot down at some point. It is her day afterall!

cookiemonster Posted: May 21, 2007 03:24 PM

Re: Bridesmaids dresses-bridal party can't agree - this is long

After being in several weddings where the dress wasn't really something I felt comfortable in, I decided it was much more important to me to have my friends comfortable and feeling good about how they looked than to have them all in matching dresses. I picked a designer, a color and a fabric and told them each to pick a dress that fit in that category - we ended up with 3 different dresses but everyone is really happy with their choice and they're all going to look beautiful!

I agree that the bride should have a big say in the decision but considering that girls have to spend a lot of money to be someone's BM, it would be good to consider their wishes. JMO!

the future mrs m Posted: May 21, 2007 05:08 PM

Re: Bridesmaids dresses-bridal party can't agree - this is long

It's your daughter's wedding. She should pick the dress and keep it moving!

melissankurt07 Posted: May 21, 2007 05:20 PM

Re: Bridesmaids dresses-bridal party can't agree - this is long

It is the brides decision!! It is her wedding but if she wanted to she could compromise and pick a color and then let each girl pick a dress that is flattering to her shape.

DrWho Posted: May 21, 2007 06:07 PM

Re: Bridesmaids dresses-bridal party can't agree - this is long

Are they the same designer? FH sis and Godmother can wear different dresses, since they are both MOH. Just stick with one color.

LaurenluvsTJ Posted: May 21, 2007 07:07 PM

Re: Bridesmaids dresses-bridal party can't agree - this is long

Bottom line is its your daughter's wedding, and she has the final say. However, another option she can do is choose a designer (say Bill Levkoff) and color, and have all the members of the BP pick the style of dress they like. I personally love this look and wish I had done it!

DGoldfarb0776 Posted: May 21, 2007 07:27 PM

Re: Bridesmaids dresses-bridal party can't agree - this is long

I hope to avoid just this- I am going to choose three dresses (my MoH can wear what she likes in the color that I choose- she has no problems with this and she is a bit on the chubby side). My 2 BM are around the same dress size (probably one is about a 12-14 and the other is a 16-18. One BM is OOT so I am going to go with the one that is in town and pick out a dress but before we order it, I am going to email the other BM a pic and ask if it's a dress that she can live with.