Bridesmaids- is it too late?

I am so stupid! (long, sorry)

I had a bridesmaid drop out in March due to pregancy and I didn't replace her. I couldn't decide who I would want to 'fill her shoes', as I had a hard time in the first place choosing.

But since then one friend has really stepped up and been so helpful. She was one of the two I had thought of to step up for the missing girl, she's know FH & myself since we started dating, but didn't make it the first time as FH doesn't particularly like her sometimes. I know she is already going to be hurt a little when she sees 1 girl in the party I feel she would have thought she would have been choosen over.

But my wedding is October 6 this year, I feel like a smuck if I ask her now, is it too late? Will she just be insulted? I've been thinking about this so long it got riduculously late.

Ask her in a way that shows its because of how much you appreciate all her help. Let her know that you are so greatful for everything and that you couldn't imagine your day without her being a special part of it!

You know...sugar it a little and she might be flattered instead of insulted!

if she's that good of a friend sit her down & have a heart to heart with her....i think she'll be honored

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Posted by misbran

Ask her in a way that shows its because of how much you appreciate all her help. Let her know that you are so greatful for everything and that you couldn't imagine your day without her being a special part of it!

You know...sugar it a little and she might be flattered instead of insulted!

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totally agree....tell her she's stepped up so much and you can't believe u haven't asked her to begin with....that all her help means so much!

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Posted by jtgarsik

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Posted by misbran

Ask her in a way that shows its because of how much you appreciate all her help. Let her know that you are so greatful for everything and that you couldn't imagine your day without her being a special part of it!

You know...sugar it a little and she might be flattered instead of insulted!

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totally agree....tell her she's stepped up so much and you can't believe u haven't asked her to begin with....that all her help means so much!

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yep, thats exactly what I'd do. Don't make it seem like you are looking for a filler, but just tell her she has been so helpful and you don't knwo what you'd do without her and it would mean so much to you if she stood by you on your big day.

Thanks!
I wrote nice little notes to the other girls so they wouldn't be out on the spot, is that OK? I can't sit with her since shes in MA and I can't get there anytime soon.

I'm thinking she wouldn't think she was filler, she knows that girl left in March. Which is why I don't know exactly what she would think, I don't know what I would think if I was in that spot.

I think that the fact that you waited so long may actually work FOR you...if I were her & you had asked me right away, I might think that you were just trying to fill the spot, but the fact that you've waited so long to ask may make her feel like it's a little more sincere. Like 'Hey - she wasn't going to fill the spot, but she loves me & appreciates what I've done for her so much now that she really WANTS me to be a BM.' Does that makes sense? It sounded better in my head! lol I honestly think that you should ask her - you'll be SO happy that you did! Good luck!

ETA: I think that if you write her a nice letter like you did for the other girls & then follow it right up with a phone call to discuss how much it would mean to you, it would be great

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Posted by MissAngel

I think that the fact that you waited so long may actually work FOR you...if I were her & you had asked me right away, I might think that you were just trying to fill the spot, but the fact that you've waited so long to ask may make her feel like it's a little more sincere. Like 'Hey - she wasn't going to fill the spot, but she loves me & appreciates what I've done for her so much now that she really WANTS me to be a BM.' Does that makes sense? It sounded better in my head! lol I honestly think that you should ask her - you'll be SO happy that you did! Good luck!

ETA: I think that if you write her a nice letter like you did for the other girls & then follow it right up with a phone call to discuss how much it would mean to you, it would be great

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I think that would be a nice way to do it too.

I think if anything the gesture of asking her would mean alot....Asking couldnt hurt....

Good Luck darlin!!

Thanks!
I will ask and see what happens.
Dresses and details not a problem, I kept buying gifts as if she was in it, which is what made me realize I was crazy

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Posted by misbran

Ask her in a way that shows its because of how much you appreciate all her help. Let her know that you are so greatful for everything and that you couldn't imagine your day without her being a special part of it!

You know...sugar it a little and she might be flattered instead of insulted!

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I agree she would probably be so happy since she is helping you out so much anyway

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Posted by jtgarsik

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Posted by misbran

Ask her in a way that shows its because of how much you appreciate all her help. Let her know that you are so greatful for everything and that you couldn't imagine your day without her being a special part of it!

You know...sugar it a little and she might be flattered instead of insulted!

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totally agree....tell her she's stepped up so much and you can't believe u haven't asked her to begin with....that all her help means so much!

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I agree-im sure she will be honored that you asked! Regardless of timing

I asked her and she was estatic!
Thanks for all your help!

I would totally ask. I asked one of my BMs after the fact and she was truly honored. I told her that something was missing the whole time and I realized it was her.

Good luck! The worst she says is no.

Oooops! Just read your update. Glad it all worked out - sounds like a good friend!