Hey girls...I haven;t chatted in awhile b/c I have been so busy with work. But I need to rant and I need some feedback! My MOH who is my cousin, called my mom and said that three of my bridesmaids who are friends of mine, don't want to contribute to my bridal shower. They said they never heard of the bridesmaids hosting the shower and said it it the mother's responsibility. They said they have to buy their dresses...which by the way are from David's Bridal and are like $100...that's it. From what I know, they each need to pitch in $80 and it covers everything, My mom already has the invites, favors, and decorations. She has been buying a little each paycheck. So the money covers the cost of the place. My mom is really upset b/c my MOH lives in Florida and is trying very hard to do all this from where she is. I always thought that part of the BM responsibilities are to throw the shower. Do they think they just show us in a dress the day of my wedding and look pretty??? So please help...I need to know if I am right in my thinking or do the BMs not have the shower?
jgl
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Re: Bridesmaids...help!!
that really stinks that they are being so harsh.. 80 is not much at all
but in all honesty I think the shower responsibuility can be that of the BMS or of the Mom. some ive been to were thrown by the mom and some by the BMs
good luck!
TJ22908
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Re: Bridesmaids...help!!
I think the bridesmaids should pitch in to help. When I was the MOH in my sisters wedding her only bridesmaid that lived in town and attended gave me some money towards as did my mom. I think that its wrong of them to not at least offer something..even if its only $20 at least there trying to help..But I think it's not something that you should have to stress over try to let your mother and MOH work it out..Good luck!!
susdoug
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Re: Bridesmaids...help!!
I know I shouldn't stress over it and I know thay my mom and MOH should take care of it...I just feel like my friends are letting me down.
blu6385
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Re: Bridesmaids...help!!
honestly i always thought it was the responsbility of the MOH and mother of the bride ... then i was told by someone its the BP so it all depends on the situation .... i think you should sit down wiht all the girls and explain to them what is expected of them ...
Jesses Girl
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Re: Bridesmaids...help!!
usually ( i thought) it was the MOB and MOH. The bridemaids can help or offer but are not usually expected to. They throw the bach party.
femmes
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Re: Bridesmaids...help!!
Posted by susdoug
Hey girls...I haven;t chatted in awhile b/c I have been so busy with work. But I need to rant and I need some feedback! My MOH who is my cousin, called my mom and said that three of my bridesmaids who are friends of mine, don't want to contribute to my bridal shower. They said they never heard of the bridesmaids hosting the shower and said it it the mother's responsibility. They said they have to buy their dresses...which by the way are from David's Bridal and are like $100...that's it. From what I know, they each need to pitch in $80 and it covers everything, My mom already has the invites, favors, and decorations. She has been buying a little each paycheck. So the money covers the cost of the place. My mom is really upset b/c my MOH lives in Florida and is trying very hard to do all this from where she is. I always thought that part of the BM responsibilities are to throw the shower. Do they think they just show us in a dress the day of my wedding and look pretty??? So please help...I need to know if I am right in my thinking or do the BMs not have the shower?
It is a subject where everyone may have a different answer..i have never been in a wedding where I had to pay for the shower, BUT I always have an expectation when asked to be in a BP that there is a possibiity that I would haveto give money..In your case I imagine your stress I do not think $80 is unreasonable to shell out. I hope everything works out for you!
gfield101
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Re: Bridesmaids...help!!
Oh im sooo sorry youre in this situations.
Just don't assume..maybe there was miscommunication with email or something. I have a friend who was in a bridal party and needed to know how much to save for the shower, and the MOH didnt get back to her until the week before with an amount she just couldnt save for so therefore, she couldnt contribute and long story short, the bride no longer talks to her because obvously she got one side of the story.
Dont let it ruin your friendships! The ONLY reason Im having 1 moh and 2 BM'sis because any other girls would most likely complain about $ and its just how it goes.... make sure when this is all over, if your still upset, get the full story from your friends. in the meantime, maybe they wont give your MOH $80 but are planning on putting in extra in your gift..or somewhere else
Ive heard the bridal party and or the mother of bride plans for it, my mom will be planning it with my sister.. (I think)
Teamhurldon
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Re: Bridesmaids...help!!
IMO I dont think its fair to expect my bridesmaids to pay for my shower.... the only thing i expect them to pay for is their dresses and the travel/hotel stuff... If I want a shower, I will make no assumptions someone else is paying besides me unless its offered, JMO, but weddings are financially rough on everyone, some people are probably struggling just to buy the dress and make the trip.....
