So I have been having quite the day today... No bueno...
Long story short(trust me!): Talked to Dad this morning and had to have the tough conversation of 'your new wife is more than welcome to come to the wedding but we would like to keep the engagement party small'... (There are a lot of reasons behind this, but one that sticks out to me is that his new wife recently freaked out and threatened my mother because my mother called to let my dad know that my sister (who is severly mentally challenged and handicap) was sick...)He wasn't upset with me, but then informed me that he could no longer attend the engagement party if she could not... fast forward the conversation to where I asked my father if she was not invited to the wedding would he still come and be there for me... the response I received you ask? 'I dont know. Probably not.' I want to curl up and hide!
I am DEVASTATED! I feel so hurt and abandoned! I am his daughter! I have been around for 21 years longer than she has... I just cant believe its even a question. I realize that there isnt much of a solution, but I need some words of wisdom and support from my LIW ladies.
I was and still am so heartbroken that I had a panic attack when I hung up the phone and had to stay home from work and my mom came over to spend time with me and take me out.
Can't sleep because I can't stop thinking about it
2013Bride
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Re: Broken hearted...
I'm sooo sorry you are going through this. Wow, I don't even know what to say... except for the fact that I totally agree with you as to why you may not want to invite your father's new wife to your wedding. It's YOUR day and who you want to be there, SHOULD be there. Maybe once every thing settles he will come around and realize that he needs to be there for you. I wish you luck!
JulesMarie27
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Re: Broken hearted...
He sounds just like my Dad! I wonder if they're related....
I am so sorry you have to go through this - it's supposed to be a happy time! Since my dad is such a jerk sometimes, I've come to the conclusion that ya know what - if they don't come to the wedding or don't share in the day, it's THEIR loss. They will have to live with that regret forever... Don't let it get you down!
coley27
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Re: Broken hearted...
Im so sorry! I couldnt imagine, as a parent, not wanting to be there for my child on their big day. As others have said, it truly is their loss. All the people who truly care about you and your happiness will make it a point to be there no matter what. Hopefully he changes his mind and understands that your child is yours forever.. spouses may come and go..
4Everhisgirl
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Re: Broken hearted...
So sorry that you have to deal with this...I think wedding planning brings out the worst in family, especially if there are already family issues to begin with. I truly hope that your dad comes to the realization that he has no choice but to be at your wedding and wedding related events no matter what.
JenniBella
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Re: Broken hearted...
YOU HAVE FM
LilinBobby
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Re: Broken hearted...
I have a similar situation...my dad left my mom like 5 years back for his new wife and Iw don't want her near anything so I am not inviting them to my engagaemtn party and I am not sure about the wedding. I called my dad after we got engaged to tell him the good news and know what he told me? That his new wifes daughter is getting married at the Garden City Hotel! I could give a effin rats arse where shes getting married. It's MY annoucement...MY day! Just him being so cold nad bringing that up and not asking me to dinner to celebrate or acting excited just let me know what a ****** bag he really is. I am sorry if this sounds cold but I learned long ago my dad was cold and obviously his new family matters most and that's fine. I am 30 now and you know what? I have a brother who can walk me down the aisle or my mom or my godfather (moms brother) who have always been there for me and are sooooo excited with all the planning. Do yourself a favor...it is YOUR day. You are going to have an amzing wedding regardless of who is there! You are going to marry the love of your life! Say this to yourself every day...I do! LOL
In a few years your dad might regret what he did but hey you asked and you tried right? That's all you could have done. It really sucks and I know the feeling...we always though Dad was going to be there like in the movies right? I am just glad that the rest of my family and friends know the whole history and how shady he can be because of the new wife. I don't really dislike her...I just find the whole situation uncomfortable and since my mom has always been there for me I would never want her to be around the guy she was married to 26 years and the woman he left her for. Kind of like a slap in the face to her during our happiest day. If you ever need to talk FM me. Took me a while to get over the whole thing and I will always love my dad but I've learned that things are just different!
Irishbride16
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Re: Broken hearted...
I'm so sorry u have to go though that .. That is so horrible and I understand why u r so upset too ... I would try and sit down with just him and tell him that u r very upset by this and explain that I'm your daughter and I should come bf anyone and to stop just thinking about himself bc that's what he is doing and that's in no way is this fair to you at all ... I just can't see why your dad is being like that ... Good luck with everything and I'm sorry again
Shanti12
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Re: Broken hearted...
I'm sorry you are going through this... I don't speak to my father; he sounds similar to yours and I haven't really spoken to him in a long time. It sounds actually like my situation was a bit worse, but overall the bad attitude and just plain being nasty to everyone. I agree with some of the other girls that if he can't be there and be happy for you... it's his loss. Believe me I am feeling the same hurt as you!! If you ever want to FM anyone I'm here too
LilinBobby
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Re: Broken hearted...
Posted by Shanti12
I'm sorry you are going through this... I don't speak to my father; he sounds similar to yours and I haven't really spoken to him in a long time. It sounds actually like my situation was a bit worse, but overall the bad attitude and just plain being nasty to everyone. I agree with some of the other girls that if he can't be there and be happy for you... it's his loss. Believe me I am feeling the same hurt as you!! If you ever want to FM anyone I'm here too
OMG ...i can't believe so many of us are going through this! That actually makes me annoyed! I can't imagine doing that to my 6 year old...EVER! xoxoxo to everyone!
torresm
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Re: Broken hearted...
Thank you everyone for your support... I really needed this! I'm trying not to let it bother me
MommaMia
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Re: Broken hearted...
I am so sorry you are going through this!! Of course it is going to bother you, he is your father and you would hope he could get his life together enough to stand by you! In the end it is your day and those who should be there will be.
One of my friends went thru this w her father. He paid for the whole wedding 75k, went to the church walked her down the aisle and left her there bc she would not let his wife at reception. This was their compromise. She has always been hurt by it and now he is the one hurting. She doesn't let him life it down and he regrets it more then anything. Your father will have to live w the guilt.
Sendig you xoxo
We are all here if you need us.
So sorry you ladies are going through this!!
torresm
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Re: Broken hearted...
I am certainly looking forward to our G2G friday! Moral Support, good food, and great conversation needed ASAP!
KroertGS
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Re: Broken hearted...
Posted by LilinBobby
OMG ...i can't believe so many of us are going through this! That actually makes me annoyed! I can't imagine doing that to my 6 year old...EVER! xoxoxo to everyone!
I can't believe it, either! I don't know what I would do if my dad acted like this. I am sorry that you are dealing with this.
jassy119
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Re: Broken hearted...
So sorry you are dealing with this, as well as the other ladies who are having issues with their dads.
When I was younger, I had a lot of issues with my dad as well for a while. We didn't even speak for about 4 years. But he has been back in my life for the passed 5 years and we have a great relationship now.
I can only hope your dad will come around and not let his new wife stand in the way. You are his daughter and nothing or no one should come in btwn that bond. I hope it works out.