Brothers girlfriend as a BM

My brother has been dating his girlfriend for almost two years now (they even live together). I am not too sure whether or not I am going to ask her or not to be a BM. We do hang out often and I have know her for a while becuase my parents are frineds with her parents. My parents think it would be a slap in the face to her if I did not ask her. Any thoughts?

I am already having 6 girls.

Re: Brothers girlfriend as a BM

If you truly want this girl in your BP then pick her. If she and your brother broke up tomorrow would you still keep in touch with her? Is she a real friend to you? If the answers to both these questions is yes, then ask her. You certainly are not obligated to ask her and you should not worry about what you parents think. It is only up to you!

Re: Brothers girlfriend as a BM

There are many other things your brother's girlfriend can do if you feel that you have too many bridesmaids. She can do a reading, be a 'hostess', pass out programs. She can also point out people that you want pictures of to the photographer, since she probably knows your family members anyway. Don't feel pressured to make her a BM, unless you would like her to be!

Re: Brothers girlfriend as a BM

the only problem with this is if they end up breaking up, you will have tons of pictures with your brothers 'ex.' that would stink for his future wife!

Re: Brothers girlfriend as a BM

I didn't ask my brother's gf even though they've been going out for years and they'll probably get in engaged soon. I don't really like her and neither does my FH so I didn't even consider asking her. I also agree with Miro127. If they break up she will be in your pictures forever. I think you can have her help in other ways.

Re: Brothers girlfriend as a BM

I agree with blushing and miro. My older brother was dating his girlfriend for two years at my wedding, and they broke up three months later (yes we all thought they would be married). Unless she is your friend independent of her relationship with your brother, I wouldn't do it. Think of some other special honor to give her that doesn't mean being in ALL the pictures, but still makes her feel important.

Re: Brothers girlfriend as a BM

This is such a sticky subject. What does your brother say about this? Does he think she expects to be asked??

My FI's brother has been dating (and living with) a woman for 8 years. I wasn't really comfortable putting her in the BP, so she's doing one of the church readings.

Best of Luck!!!!

Re: Brothers girlfriend as a BM

I agree, this is a sticky subject.

I personally woul not put her in the wedding, only because you never know what the future holds.

They could break up at anytime, and you will have a ton of pictures of this person.

I say give her a more lowkey duty , if you must include her.

Let us know what you decide.

Re: Brothers girlfriend as a BM

Okay I had a similar situation... I asked my FI if he wanted me to ask his brothers girlfriend- they have been going together 6 years!!! She is like a sister to my FI, but the thing is.... FBIL doesn''t know if he is going to marry her.... They actually pseudo-broke up so I did not ask her... but good questions to consider.... is your brother very serious about her? How would feel with her in your pics if they broke up? Is she your good friend irrespective of your brother relationship with her?

Re: Brothers girlfriend as a BM

I had my BIL (but they were just engaged) walk my mom down the aisle...my DH did the same for my mom at their wedding...

I had 2 cousins hand out programs, etc...

I thanked all 3 in my program for their help