Butterflies in my Stomach Help...
FH took me Christmas Eve to go and apply for the marriage certificate so we can get married before actually getting married in church. Long Story kinda... See I was married when I was much younger and know I may not be able to get married in church(haven't been able to get a straight answer from church). We have kids together and 2 of them are mine from being younger and they can't go on his insurance too... There's just alot of factors and we figure we're getting married in 2006 anyway but maybe if we are already married it won't be a big deal to the church to let us renew our vows so to speak in church!! God you make such stupid mistakes when your a kid that you pay for later on...
Well this is definetly not the way I dreamed of it but now that this is actually moving forward I feel sick to my stomach. I can't tell FH this because I don't want him to think I don't want to marry him but Im sooo torn about not waiting. We found the hall we want to book but the date is not doing it for me(silly I know)so I haven't gone to drop off the deposit yet!! I don't know I feel like Im having a nervous breakdown!! What's wrong with me? Im also starting to have alot of issues with his ex-girlfriend and his daughter but that's a real long story it just seems to be gettign to me more now then ever before and not that I don't love his daughter I do. That's just a long story. There's times that I just don't even want to be around him all of the sudden. I think Im more ready for a rubber room then a wedding chapel.
Well this is definetly not the way I dreamed of it but now that this is actually moving forward I feel sick to my stomach. I can't tell FH this because I don't want him to think I don't want to marry him but Im sooo torn about not waiting. We found the hall we want to book but the date is not doing it for me(silly I know)so I haven't gone to drop off the deposit yet!! I don't know I feel like Im having a nervous breakdown!! What's wrong with me? Im also starting to have alot of issues with his ex-girlfriend and his daughter but that's a real long story it just seems to be gettign to me more now then ever before and not that I don't love his daughter I do. That's just a long story. There's times that I just don't even want to be around him all of the sudden. I think Im more ready for a rubber room then a wedding chapel.
