Buying house with FH?????

Is anyone buying a house with FH and buying it BEFORE the wedding??

FH and I are buying a house in the next few months and my mother (and FMIL) are both getting upset bc they think we should wait, live at home and save more money. I also think part of the reason my mother is upset is bc she doesn't want to face the fact that I'm leaving home.
i don't know how to make her feel better, but I have to move forward in life and I can't stay home forever!

Anyone else experiencing this?!?!

Hi date twin.
Actually me and FH were actively looking, but recently decided to wait until the end of the year/ beginning of next year. We're not actively looking, but will browse from time to time. We decided it be better to save money for now rather than pay for a mortgage while no one is living in the home.

But, while we were looking for homes, my mom was very concerned as to how far I would move away when I was married....and boy was that stressful.

yea my moms a pain in the a s s, but when FH and I move in together ( only 5 months before the wedding) it will actually be saving us money...so while I totally understand what your saying if it saves money, (which personally is extremellyyy important to me) you might wanna think about what your moms saying. On the other hand my mom is the same way, i really dont know how to handle it either

I moved out when I was 21. FH moved to FLA with his fam and came back a year later and moved on him own. We have lived together over a year and a half.We have some money saved for a house that is seperate than the wedding money. We won't buy till after the wedding though because of his job.

I know what you mean about parents getting upset. The way I see it now is your starting your own life and there comes a point when you need to start doing what you want!

I've live with FH for 2 1/2 years. We just bought a place in November (we were engaged in December) a little advice...living him is WAY cheaper. I would hold out as long as possible and save every single penny. I mean we aren't struggling, but sometimes it would be nice to have a little extra money lying around. It really helps when you put a large down payment. don't forge that your closing costs are extra and not included in your DP.. then you have to furnish the place and paint and everything else. There is always stuff that you never thing about. Having extra money certainly helps.


Sorry for the mini rant

My FH and I want to buy a house before the wedding. I'm not i a rush now. I would just like to be settled before the wedding so when we come back from the honeymoon we aren't going crazy. My wedding is next August so I we are gonna start seriously looking this fall probably.

Where is everyone looking? Or where does everyone live? Houses are so expensive!! It's hard to find a 'first' home on Long Island.

Yes we are in the same boat. I live @ home right now and FH lives in Queens. He owns. He wanted me to move in a while ago, but that would make my already 40 min. commute around 80 min. or so with traffic, so theres no way! We want to be able to buy something, and $$ is tight. We will either wait until close to the wedding (next year will be a busy year for me as its my tenure year as a teacher) or we will buy right after our wedding, when its the summer and I won't be working.. it will be a lot less stressful.. but its just a long time to wait and continue living separately! I haven't spoken to my parents about this, but they're pretty traditional and I'm sure they are loving the arrangement that we have now.

We plan on maybe using the $$ from the FH selling his place plus some wedding $$ to help us with a down payment.

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Posted by silyss

Yes we are in the same boat. I live @ home right now and FH lives in Queens. He owns. He wanted me to move in a while ago, but that would make my already 40 min. commute around 80 min. or so with traffic, so theres no way! We want to be able to buy something, and $$ is tight. We will either wait until close to the wedding (next year will be a busy year for me as its my tenure year as a teacher) or we will buy right after our wedding, when its the summer and I won't be working.. it will be a lot less stressful.. but its just a long time to wait and continue living separately! I haven't spoken to my parents about this, but they're pretty traditional and I'm sure they are loving the arrangement that we have now.

We plan on maybe using the $$ from the FH selling his place plus some wedding $$ to help us with a down payment.

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I'm a teacher too. So I would like the time to move in a stuff before the wedding. My wedding is Aug 13. So after the honeymoon there will not be much time before school starts. And I will be going into my tenure year hopefully. This job market *****!!!!

My FH and I actually bought a co-op before we got engaged so now we're paying the bills and saving for the wedding.

It's definitely tough and if you can manage to stay at home to save in the meantime it'll definitely help with the wedding planning. BUT if you feel you can swing both--go for it. It's awesome having your own place : )

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Posted by wiggleit28

My FH and I actually bought a co-op before we got engaged so now we're paying the bills and saving for the wedding.

It's definitely tough and if you can manage to stay at home to save in the meantime it'll definitely help with the wedding planning. BUT if you feel you can swing both--go for it. It's awesome having your own place : )

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Ok this could be a stupid question. What's the difference between a co'op and a condo?

We have been house hunting for the last few months and are hoping to buy in time for the tax credit. However both of our parents are ok with us buying before the wedding. FFIL has made comments like if we wait and save up some more then we can afford a better house but how much more can we really save in a year and what if interest rates go up, then we will never be able to get a house. Our parents are giving us a hard time about how far away we move (they want us in the neighborhood which we cant afford) but they will just have to accept that that cant happen.

You and FH have to do what right for the both of you. Your parent will get over it.

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Posted by dianeb888

We have been house hunting for the last few months and are hoping to buy in time for the tax credit. However both of our parents are ok with us buying before the wedding. FFIL has made comments like if we wait and save up some more then we can afford a better house but how much more can we really save in a year and what if interest rates go up, then we will never be able to get a house. Our parents are giving us a hard time about how far away we move (they want us in the neighborhood which we cant afford) but they will just have to accept that that cant happen.

You and FH have to do what right for the both of you. Your parent will get over it.

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When do you have to buy by for the tax credit?

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Posted by JTG4EVER

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Posted by wiggleit28

My FH and I actually bought a co-op before we got engaged so now we're paying the bills and saving for the wedding.

It's definitely tough and if you can manage to stay at home to save in the meantime it'll definitely help with the wedding planning. BUT if you feel you can swing both--go for it. It's awesome having your own place : )

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Ok this could be a stupid question. What's the difference between a co'op and a condo?

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It's not a stupid question at all! Lol I still have trouble understanding it myself. Basically when you own a Co-Op you own shares of a building (like shares of stock). What that means is that everyone who lives in the building is a shareholder so there are a lot of shared rules to live by (which can be annoying). These rules are created by a Board of individuals. In a condo, your apartment is your apartment and you can do as you like to it (I think). Usually, Co-Ops are cheaper than condos but, like I said, there are rules (for example, you can't make any changes to the apartment without permission). You also have to pay maintenance fees in co-ops. I think with condos you pay a 'common fee' but it's usually a lot less than maintenance.

lol I hope that made sense. It's really confusing.

I agree with notwedyet08!

FH and I bought our house in may of 08. we were just boyfriend/girlfriend. my paren'ts weren't too keen on the idea, but got used to it. it is hard to save for the wedding but i think in the long run, since we found THE house, with a good interest rate etc, we were right to do it when we did.