This is the weirdest request I got from a guest, they asked if they could bring their mother and offered to pay for her plate. But, it makes me feel really odd, I am having a very small wedding 50 people, I wanted less but most venues said no. I only wanted relatives and close friends to go. I want to say no to this lady, but they are offering to pay for her, how do I say no? FH got mad at, becxause I already told him it made me feel uncomfortable and he freaked out and yelled at me saying 'why invite anyone at all?'. He knows large crowds make me freak out and that I am even afraid of my family and his, and I've run out of his parents house at a family event and even got in the car and drove off at our own engagement party. Is it ok to say no to someone?
Gambigoo
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Can I bring my mother? - Long Island Weddings
Why does this person want to bring their mother? Is it that they don't want to go alone? I think it's perfectly fine to tell them that you are having a small affair and that if you allow them to bring someone, it's not fair to others. Hopefully they would understand.
cets1290
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Re: Can I bring my mother?
Posted by Gambigoo
Why does this person want to bring their mother? Is it that they don't want to go alone? I think it's perfectly fine to tell them that you are having a small affair and that if you allow them to bring someone, it's not fair to others. Hopefully they would understand.
this
Lguido
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Can I bring my mother? - Long Island Weddings
Honestly I would just say ok,but that's me. It seems like its really important to this person to bring their mother then let them. It was very nice of them to ask you & to offer to pay for her plate!
Kroedel87
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Re: Can I bring my mother?
Posted by Lguido
Honestly I would just say ok,but that's me. It seems like its really important to this person to bring their mother then let them. It was very nice of them to ask you & to offer to pay for her plate!
I certainly wouldn't say this was very nice. It was an imposition and quite rude to ask of a bride. What's the alternative? They would just show up with their mother and not pay?
You're invited as you're invited. If you don't get a guest and you absolutely won't go alone, then you RSVP no and send a nice gift. You don't put a bride in this awkward position.
Lguido
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Re: Can I bring my mother?
Posted by Kroedel87
Posted by Lguido
Honestly I would just say ok,but that's me. It seems like its really important to this person to bring their mother then let them. It was very nice of them to ask you & to offer to pay for her plate!
I certainly wouldn't say this was very nice. It was an imposition and quite rude to ask of a bride. What's the alternative? They would just show up with their mother and not pay?
You're invited as you're invited. If you don't get a guest and you absolutely won't go alone, then you RSVP no and send a nice gift. You don't put a bride in this awkward position.
Believe it or not but there are some people out there that would just show up with someone & not even ask. You don't know this persons situation on why they want to bring their mom! I really don't think it's a big deal! Obviously it means a lot to them to be there & they offer erred to pay for her plate.
Lguido
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Member since
Re: Can I bring my mother?
Posted by Lguido
Posted by Kroedel87
Posted by Lguido
Honestly I would just say ok,but that's me. It seems like its really important to this person to bring their mother then let them. It was very nice of them to ask you & to offer to pay for her plate!
I certainly wouldn't say this was very nice. It was an imposition and quite rude to ask of a bride. What's the alternative? They would just show up with their mother and not pay?
You're invited as you're invited. If you don't get a guest and you absolutely won't go alone, then you RSVP no and send a nice gift. You don't put a bride in this awkward position.
Believe it or not but there are some people out there that would just show up with someone & not even ask. You don't know this persons situation on why they want to bring their mom! I really don't think it's a big deal! Obviously it means a lot to them to be there & they offer erred to pay for her plate.
Lguido
Posted:
Member since
Re: Can I bring my mother?
Posted by Lguido
Posted by Lguido
Posted by Kroedel87
Posted by Lguido
Honestly I would just say ok,but that's me. It seems like its really important to this person to bring their mother then let them. It was very nice of them to ask you & to offer to pay for her plate!
I certainly wouldn't say this was very nice. It was an imposition and quite rude to ask of a bride. What's the alternative? They would just show up with their mother and not pay?
You're invited as you're invited. If you don't get a guest and you absolutely won't go alone, then you RSVP no and send a nice gift. You don't put a bride in this awkward position.
Believe it or not but there are some people out there that would just show up with someone & not even ask. You don't know this persons situation on why they want to bring their mom! I really don't think it's a big deal! Obviously it means a lot to them to be there & they offered to pay for her plate.
Kroedel87
Posted:
Member since
Re: Can I bring my mother?
Posted by Lguido
Posted by Lguido
Posted by Lguido
Posted by Kroedel87
Posted by Lguido
Honestly I would just say ok,but that's me. It seems like its really important to this person to bring their mother then let them. It was very nice of them to ask you & to offer to pay for her plate!
I certainly wouldn't say this was very nice. It was an imposition and quite rude to ask of a bride. What's the alternative? They would just show up with their mother and not pay?
You're invited as you're invited. If you don't get a guest and you absolutely won't go alone, then you RSVP no and send a nice gift. You don't put a bride in this awkward position.
Believe it or not but there are some people out there that would just show up with someone & not even ask. You don't know this persons situation on why they want to bring their mom! I really don't think it's a big deal! Obviously it means a lot to them to be there & they offered to pay for her plate.
If it means a lot to them to be there, they would be willing to go without bringing anyone. If they won't go without their mother, it's not that important to them. Say no, send a nice gift, and be done with it.
Nicole0317
Posted:
Member since
Can I bring my mother? - Long Island Weddings
I think it's very weird and rude to ask to bring a guest when you are not invited with one. It puts the bride and groom in a very uncomfortable position. I think you need to stand your ground and politely decline.
MrsAlfa
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Re: Can I bring my mother?
The person is bringing a guest and a child, and still want to bring their mother.
I'm sorry, I should have mentioned that in the first post. I would actually understand if they didn't want to come alone, but their immediate family is already coming. I have no room at any of the tables for another person.
But thank you everyone, FH made me feel like everyone who wants to come should come if they are willing to pay. I am going to say that is there no more room at the tables.
Lguido
Posted:
Member since
Re: Can I bring my mother?
Posted by MrsAlfa
The person is bringing a guest and a child, and still want to bring their mother.
I'm sorry, I should have mentioned that in the first post. I would actually understand if they didn't want to come alone, but their immediate family is already coming. I have no room at any of the tables for another person.
But thank you everyone, FH made me feel like everyone who wants to come should come if they are willing to pay. I am going to say that is there no more room at the
MsErikaLynn
Posted:
Member since
Re: Can I bring my mother?
Posted by Gambigoo
Why does this person want to bring their mother? Is it that they don't want to go alone? I think it's perfectly fine to tell them that you are having a small affair and that if you allow them to bring someone, it's not fair to others. Hopefully they would understand.
this
MsErikaLynn
Posted:
Member since
Re: Can I bring my mother?
Posted by MrsAlfa
The person is bringing a guest and a child, and still want to bring their mother.
I'm sorry, I should have mentioned that in the first post. I would actually understand if they didn't want to come alone, but their immediate family is already coming. I have no room at any of the tables for another person.
But thank you everyone, FH made me feel like everyone who wants to come should come if they are willing to pay. I am going to say that is there no more room at the tables.
Is this person family? I feel like somethings missing! You made a list and whoever you invited is who is invited. Nobody should ever ask you to invite anyone that YOU did not invite. Paying or not, it's your wedding. I feel like you can't accept this persons payment for their mom because it's awkward and you also shouldn't have to shell it out. I don't think the reason for the mother matters? For example, if she's elderly and can't be left alone, then you unfortunately should kindly turn down the invite, send a gift and that's it. Once you start letting people choose who they want to bring I feel like it lessens the ..how do I say, the decorum of the wedding.
shellabella2
Posted:
Member since
Can I bring my mother? - Long Island Weddings
Maybe they want to bring the mother to keep an eye on the child? If that's the case then the child could always be left home, instead of bringing the mom, if the parents want a nice night out. It's definitely a weird question but I would do what makes you comfortable. If you don't feel comfortable with the mother there, then say no! To me, it's not about who's paying for it, it's about who I want to celebrate the day with..
MrsAlfa
Posted:
Member since
Can I bring my mother? - Long Island Weddings
Yeah, we don't even this person. The woman married my FH's uncle who lives in California. I guess she's family but not related to FH, and he certainly never met the woman's mother.
Yeah, we don't even this person. The woman married my FH's uncle who lives in California. I guess she's family but not related to FH, and he certainly never met the woman's mother.
If they're coming from CA and are asking to bring their mom there may be a reason. It may to be to help look after their child OR maybe the mother can't be alone for too long.
Is this ONE extra person really with a battle with FH? Probably not.
MrsAlfa
Posted:
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Can I bring my mother? - Long Island Weddings
The mother lives alone in New York and they want to spend more time with her. The wedding is only 4 hours.
KimnAndy
Posted:
Member since
Can I bring my mother? - Long Island Weddings
The Mother should stay home. The woman put you in an awkward position even with the offer to pay. They want to spend more time with Mom, they should spend an extra day in NY, why should it be during Your time? This is about being there for the bride and groom, not the bride, groom and the guests Mom. I don't mean to sound cold, but simply put, you don't have the room. It is a small reception and you only have room for those invited.
I have a friend coming from Japan who asked if her SIL could come as her guest. A bit unorthodox but we were allowing her to bring a guest and she is a friend of mine for over 30 years since HS. So in her case yes, her SIL could come. She doesn't want her SIL to feel like a chauffer and hotel because she would be staying with her and asking her to drive her to the church and venue. We are also ok with it because she is coming all the way from Japan and I don't know if her SIL has ever been to an American style wedding, so she would be able to experience one. I know what the latter is like because I have been to a Chinese wedding (in NY) and it was a great experience.
In the end the decision yours and your FH. Do what is best for You. Good Luck
