Can we get Married in a Church??

Original post by MaureenM618

Sep 13, 2006 03:24 PM

My and FI automatically thought we would have to get married at our reception hall because he hasn't completed his baptism, communion or conformation. I haven't done my conformation. I stopped after baptism and communion. He's Christian but non practicing. He doesn't really believe in organized religion. He believes you don't have to go to a church or through a priest to be close to God. He prays on his own at home. On the other hand, I guess I'm agnostic or an atheist. I was raised Catholic but now I don't really believe in anything. I would like to get married in a church though for FI and his family (very religious). Where can we get married? Non-denominational church??? Unsure, just looking for other options

dartmouthst Posted: Oct 30, 2006 10:42 AM

Re: Can we get Married in a Church??

Actually, I have the same situation. My fiancee has not done anything I have done my baptism and communion and still we are getting married in a Catholic Church (Our Lady Queen of Martyrs in Forest Hills) without having to do anything more (besides a 2 day couse that everyone must do). They told me that in order to get married in a Catholic Church, at least 1 of the 2 must have done the baptism and communion- nothing more is needed. I think it might vary slightly from church to church but if you want to do a church wedding don't dismiss it right away; ask, because it's definetly possible.

ewickens Posted: Oct 30, 2006 10:45 AM

Re: Can we get Married in a Church??

catholic churches require all 3 sacraments before marriage - baptism, communion and confirmation before marriage. priests aren't normally part of the pre-cana, just a married couple from the Church who helps you two communicate and find what works to develop a long lasting marriage/relationship.

non-demonination churches may be a little more lax.

MaureenM618 Posted: Oct 30, 2006 11:11 AM

Re: Can we get Married in a Church??

Dartmouthst- really??? wow I didn't know that! So technically FH and I could get married at Our Lady Queen Amartyrs if we wanted to. hmmmm... FH hasn't done anything and I have done baptism and communion. How much do they charge? Is it more expensive to get married in a church than a catering hall?

Kara and Todd Posted: Oct 30, 2006 11:24 AM

Re: Can we get Married in a Church??

Posted by kris15198

For the Catholic church you need to make communion, so he could do that or find someone to do the ceremony.

You have to make confirmation... Neither of them have, so they would not be able to get married in the Catholic church.

I would think some of the non-demoninational churches might allow it... but most churches would want at least one of you to be a practicing member of that faith. I guess it cannot hurt to ask around, though!

Kara and Todd Posted: Oct 30, 2006 11:25 AM

Re: Can we get Married in a Church??

Posted by Kara and Todd

Posted by kris15198

For the Catholic church you need to make communion, so he could do that or find someone to do the ceremony.

You have to make confirmation (which requires baptism and communion before that)... Neither of them have, so they would not be able to get married in the Catholic church.

I would think some of the non-demoninational churches might allow it... but most churches would want at least one of you to be a practicing member of that faith. I guess it cannot hurt to ask around, though!

mycrayon1 Posted: Oct 30, 2006 11:31 AM

Re: Can we get Married in a Church??

Posted by tiffandmatt

JMO but honestly I don't really see the point of getting married in a church, considering you are an atheist, and FH has none of the sacraments and is non-practicing. If you both don't belive in and or do not practice the teachings of the church....why bother? Just because his family would like it? It should be what makes you and FH feel is the best ceremony for you both.

For you to get married by a Priest or Christian Preacher doesn't make sense if you don't believe in the Catholic/Christian teachings, and as for FH to get married there, besides not practicing in the church, he has none of his sacraments, he can't really be that strong into his religion.

Even if you both went and completed your sacraments in order to be married in a church, it really doesn't seem that the sacarments would mean anything to the two of you. It really seems pointless to me. It obviously would be more for his family, but it if does not mean anything to the both of you to hold the ceremony in a church, I would say have it at the reception hall, and I'm sure it will be beautiful! Good luck!

I have to agree also!

happygirl07 Posted: Oct 30, 2006 11:32 AM

Re: Can we get Married in a Church??

It does vary from church to church based on the opinions that we have provided here.

I first hand know that FH & I will be married in church & he didn't do his confirmation. All the priest requested from us was documentation evidencing baptism. Since we're not getting married at our home church, I need to get a permission letter from my church allowing us to marry at a different one.

Maureen, coincidently, my home church is Queen of Martyrs. I need to go there to get that permission letter within the next week. Would you like me to find out for you? Alternatively, you can just place a call into them.

Let me know.

Meaghan729 Posted: Oct 30, 2006 12:19 PM

Re: Can we get Married in a Church??

my church only asked for proof of baptism.

however, they will ask you if you plan on raising your children catholic.

if you have no intention of doing so -why do you want to get married in a church?

DanNette Posted: Oct 30, 2006 12:26 PM

Re: Can we get Married in a Church??

I think it depends on your church.
I was baptised, received communion and confirmed in my church, FH was only baptised and was baptised Protestant .We were allowed to have a full mass without him making up any sacrements.

Originally, we were having a ceremony bc I didn't think we could have a whole mass, but we later changed it.

CASJLL Posted: Oct 30, 2006 01:15 PM

Re: Can we get Married in a Church??

I agree - either non denominational or the hall definitely. It probably will run you about the same amount of money - and at the hall you have much more control!

ncd623 Posted: Oct 30, 2006 03:08 PM

Re: Can we get Married in a Church??

If you do not believe in God, why would you want to get narried in his church?? Maybe just get married outside, or at the hall.

dartmouthst Posted: Feb 17, 2007 01:01 AM

Re: Can we get Married in a Church??

Maureen- yes,its surelypossible b/c I'm doing it w/ your same situation. The cost, to answer your question, at Our Lady Queen of Martyrs is approx $500.
Good luck!

Elise&Matt Posted: Feb 17, 2007 02:27 AM

Re: Can we get Married in a Church??

with all the 'red tape' you have to go thru for the church ...it's just much easier to have it at the RH....at least that's what we are doing

Tori9299 Posted: Feb 17, 2007 08:55 AM

Re: Can we get Married in a Church??

I don't agree on having the ceremony at the RH only because you will miss so much of the wedding. The Mr & Mrs. and the family will have to be pulled for pictures, while everyone else is having a good time with out you. I was having a similar problem with my FH he was married once in the church and he has to go for an annulment. One of the options is to get married at the place but I don't want to see my FH until we are married to avoid missing some of the party we would take pictures before. You should have a ceremony and a few hour gap for pictures so you can enjoy dancing and partying.