CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS???--kind of long but i need help!

JoesFutureWife Posted: Nov 28, 2007 11:40 AM

CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS???--kind of long but i need help!

Ok so a girl i used to be somewhat friends with, is not speaking to me. She knew i got engaged in october of 2006 and set my date for June 28, 2008. She got engaged (mind you to the third person in 2.5 years), about 5 months ago. She set her date for June 27, 2008 which didn't bother me because i wasn't inviting her to my wedding and i didn't expect to be invited to hers. So i talked to her for the first time in months last night and she asks me to be a BRIDESMAID!!. I almost fell on the floor So i had to decline because at that time i don't feel like i can give it my all as her bridesmaid, plus i dont feel close enough to her to be her bridesmaid. Then she says 'so i guess you're not even going to come to my wedding now?!' I felt bad but i cant see doing all of this planning and then being tired for my own day because i went to her wedding the night before. If she was a good friend i'd be there in a heartbeat but to be honest there is a reason i'm not really friends with her anymore (long story short, i broke up with a guy after dating him for 3 months, he started dating her and she knew it was just to spite me). There are other reasons too! She caused a lot of drama in the past. Am i wrong??

DeannaNDave07 Posted: Nov 28, 2007 11:43 AM

Re: CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS???--kind of long but i need help!

OMG!! what! she asked you to be a BM...thats crazy!! usually its people that are close to you..and the way you are talking ..obviously there is not friendship there..

i think you did the right thing actually by declining..and im sure you said it in the nicest way possible...and yes..it is alot to be in a wedding..

carolinebr Posted: Nov 28, 2007 11:44 AM

Re: CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS???--kind of long but i need help!

There is no way you can be in a wedding the day before your wedding. Period. Tell her you already booked your rehearsal dinner that night.

Tell her you'd love to go to HER rehearsal dinner instead but you can't make the wedding. Give a little gift.

Also, there is no way she is going to go to your wedding the day after hers, so don't feel badly.

MrsG2007 Posted: Nov 28, 2007 11:45 AM

Re: CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS???--kind of long but i need help!

No your not.....be honest and tell her why...

cookiemonster Posted: Nov 28, 2007 11:46 AM

Re: CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS???--kind of long but i need help!

I can tell you from experience that on the day before your wedding, the last thing you need is to be at someone else's wedding. If it was a really close friend or family member, then that's another story, but you are going to have way too much to do the whole week before the wedding and you're going to need some time to relax, unwind, and get yourself ready for your own day. If she knew you set your date long before she got engaged and she is still all pi$$y that you won't come to her wedding or (!!!!) be a BM, then she doesn't sound like a very good friend. A VERY good friend wouldn't book a date close to her good friend's wedding, but even if she did do that, she clearly doesn't understand that you need that time to yourself that day.

skinny237 Posted: Nov 28, 2007 11:49 AM

Re: CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS???--kind of long but i need help!

U r not wrong at all. U handled it perfectly.

cuttieforreal Posted: Nov 28, 2007 11:55 AM

Re: CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS???--kind of long but i need help!

U aint wrong girl good u turned her down.U dont want to be at her wedding n ve ur mind set on your on day n more over you dont need tired swollen eyes for the pix u paid $$$$ for .Wat you need is good rest n lots of real love from pple who care not pple like her

futuremrsfab Posted: Nov 28, 2007 11:59 AM

Re: CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS???--kind of long but i need help!

Posted by JoesFutureWife

Ok so a girl i used to be somewhat friends with, is not speaking to me. She knew i got engaged in october of 2006 and set my date for June 28, 2008. She got engaged (mind you to the third person in 2.5 years), about 5 months ago. She set her date for June 27, 2008 which didn't bother me because i wasn't inviting her to my wedding and i didn't expect to be invited to hers. So i talked to her for the first time in months last night and she asks me to be a BRIDESMAID!!. I almost fell on the floor So i had to decline because at that time i don't feel like i can give it my all as her bridesmaid, plus i dont feel close enough to her to be her bridesmaid. Then she says 'so i guess you're not even going to come to my wedding now?!' I felt bad but i cant see doing all of this planning and then being tired for my own day because i went to her wedding the night before. If she was a good friend i'd be there in a heartbeat but to be honest there is a reason i'm not really friends with her anymore (long story short, i broke up with a guy after dating him for 3 months, he started dating her and she knew it was just to spite me). There are other reasons too! She caused a lot of drama in the past. Am i wrong??

umm you are a much nicer person than me- she put her wedding the DAY before yours? I think that's mean & I would have had to tell her off... if it was me I would not go to her wedding- you will have enough to do the day before & she should have realized that before she picked the same damnn weekend.

Butterfly123 Posted: Nov 28, 2007 12:01 PM

Re: CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS???--kind of long but i need help!

OKay it sounds like she's just trying to cause drama for you. Dont fall for her stupid game. Its impossible for someone to attend a wedding the day before their own. And you booked your wedding first so its not your problem. She sounds like a real piece of work.

Mici n KC Posted: Nov 28, 2007 12:06 PM

Re: CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS???--kind of long but i need help!

Wow she has nerve. Tell her no, you can't go to her wedding because you'll be at your RD that day!

longislandlibrarian Posted: Nov 28, 2007 12:06 PM

Re: CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS???--kind of long but i need help!

You handled it perfectly!!! She is definitely just trying to stir up a little drama it seems....
Your date was set WAY AHEAD OF HERS... and she needs to understand that....

JKFris09 Posted: Nov 28, 2007 12:08 PM

Re: CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS???--kind of long but i need help!

that' pretty crazy! lol I would have done the same thing, you're not wrong

JillBride08 Posted: Nov 28, 2007 12:10 PM

Re: CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS???--kind of long but i need help!

3 words can sum it up:

Ditch the *****...

Oh man...I forgot they dont let you say the 'b' word on here. LOL

you dont need 'friends' like that in your life. And the last thing that you should be thinking about on the night before the most important day of your life is some old friend that has proved to be not worth your time.

Good luck and celebrate the good friends that you have in your life now.

SparklingBride10 Posted: Nov 28, 2007 12:16 PM

Re: CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS???--kind of long but i need help!

Your not wrong, she is crazy!

lkdrnw Posted: Nov 28, 2007 12:34 PM

Re: CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS???--kind of long but i need help!

I def think you did the right thing--how can she expect you to be in her wedding--you are going to be to involved in your own. Don't feel bad or worry--you made the right decision

HeatherRose Posted: Nov 28, 2007 12:46 PM

Re: CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS???--kind of long but i need help!

thats nuts.. you need your beauty rest the night before and besides your probally be having your RD that night too..
don't sweat it, shes not a good friend anyway

jtgarsik Posted: Nov 28, 2007 01:01 PM

Re: CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS???--kind of long but i need help!

bottom line: IT'S THE NIGHT BEFORE YOUR FREAKIN' WEDDING!!! she needs to understand and if she doesn't that's ridiculous! and secondly, if you're not that close anymore, don't feel bad. she'll get over it. lol. i'm sorry but this situation makes me laugh..this girl's got another thing comin' to her!

bemyyoko Posted: Nov 28, 2007 01:37 PM

Re: CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS???--kind of long but i need help!

ummm.... no i don't think you're wrong at all.
i know that i could not handle being a bridesmaid the day before my wedding, nor would i be able to go and enjoy myself at the reception the night before my wedding either.

she KNOWS you're getting married the next day... i think it's crazy for her expect you to be there.

LauraD419 Posted: Nov 28, 2007 04:13 PM

Re: CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS???--kind of long but i need help!

How could you go? Wouldn't you be kind of busy that day...like a rehearsal dinner or spending time finishing the last minute things for your wedding? I love that people only think about themselves!!!