Cancelling Wedding / Engagement

I am SO SORRY you are going thru this chica!!!!!

Perhaps u just need to take time off from the Crazy wedding planning.....
But IF you have already talk things thru and u are 100% sure Ur happiness is not with him... then u should Look for ur happiness...

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Posted by Roxy11

FH and I have been on the rocks since we got engaged. We just arent seeing eye to eye on many things and he is always shutting down and look extremely unhappy... I know a majority of his stress comes from his finances however if he cant handle it now, it makes me wonder how will it be when we are married.

we are just drifting apart..... I think I have to just end the engagement... My happiness comes 1st.

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you have fm

I'm so sorry to hear this! I hope you guys can talk and get through this

words can't even describe how sad i am for you right now.
i know what it is like to have an engagement/wedding be canceled.
i would suggest to put the wedding on the back burner for now and see if yur differences can be resolved. maybe there are other things that are stressing him out and unfortunately, they are getting in between the both of you.
have you suggested to him that you may want to call off the wedding? what was his response?

Do not make a permenant dramatic decision to solve a temporary problem.

After my FH and I got engaged I was on cloud nine. Everything was just fabulous, and then, we set the date. Suddenly, I was walking on a rain cloud. We were constantly fighting about everything, and I mean everything. We were not getting along. A simple discussion about 'what would you like for dinner' became world war III and everytime me, my mom, his mom, a friend mentioned the wedding, his expression and demeanor became as if you were talking about some devistating experiance in his life. Finally, I lashed out in the car one day 'YOU ASKED ME TO MARRY YOU! AND IF THAT IS NOT WHAT YOU WANT THEN LETS BE ADULTS AND CALL IT WHAT IT IS BECAUSE I AM NOT GOING TO SIT HERE AND PLAY HOUSE WITH YOU AND PRETEND **** IS OKAY WHEN IT IS NOT! THIS RING DOESNT MEAN **** TO ME IF IT DOESNT MEAN **** TO YOU!!!!!' (addTONS of profanity)... He basically responded 'then lets call it what it is'. Instead of stabbing him in the neck with a ballpoint pen I had in my purse, I responded 'respectfully'. My point is, here we are, back on track. My FH was SO stressed about MONEY! money money money money. Me, as the bride, was always like 'baby, it will work itself out. We will figure it out'. He, men, just cant think that way. They cannot forsee ANYTHING working itself out. So one night, I just listened. I let him vent and talk and yell and scream. And giiirrrlll, he said some **** that made me want to grab that ballpoint pen! But I just kept remembering, this is his time to just let it out.

The other girls are right, he obviously LOVES YOU, he wants to marry you. You didn't put that finger on your hand. But somethign is bothering him. So maybe the approach shouldnt be attacking him, but trying to understand him. Let him just speak and don't respond.

Now, my FH is the one who says 'we will figure it out'.

Just always remember, women deal 100% better than men with any situation under any circumstance. It is just who we are.

If the relationship is over, let it go. A ring does not mean giving up who you are and what you want. But if the problem is simply not agreeing and not getting along, work on it. I wish you and your FH the best of luck. My advice, try NOT mentioning the wedding at all for a while. Try understanding his nonense for a day. They are odd creatures.

Good luck,

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Posted by Roxy11

FH and I have been on the rocks since we got engaged. We just arent seeing eye to eye on many things and he is always shutting down and look extremely unhappy... I know a majority of his stress comes from his finances however if he cant handle it now, it makes me wonder how will it be when we are married.

we are just drifting apart..... I think I have to just end the engagement... My happiness comes 1st.

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hang in there ... i sent you an FM

I'm so sorry to hear this but you have to keep your happiness first. I hope everything works out for you

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Posted by ktcafaro

Do not make a permenant dramatic decision to solve a temporary problem.

After my FH and I got engaged I was on cloud nine. Everything was just fabulous, and then, we set the date. Suddenly, I was walking on a rain cloud. We were constantly fighting about everything, and I mean everything. We were not getting along. A simple discussion about 'what would you like for dinner' became world war III and everytime me, my mom, his mom, a friend mentioned the wedding, his expression and demeanor became as if you were talking about some devistating experiance in his life. Finally, I lashed out in the car one day 'YOU ASKED ME TO MARRY YOU! AND IF THAT IS NOT WHAT YOU WANT THEN LETS BE ADULTS AND CALL IT WHAT IT IS BECAUSE I AM NOT GOING TO SIT HERE AND PLAY HOUSE WITH YOU AND PRETEND **** IS OKAY WHEN IT IS NOT! THIS RING DOESNT MEAN **** TO ME IF IT DOESNT MEAN **** TO YOU!!!!!' (addTONS of profanity)... He basically responded 'then lets call it what it is'. Instead of stabbing him in the neck with a ballpoint pen I had in my purse, I responded 'respectfully'. My point is, here we are, back on track. My FH was SO stressed about MONEY! money money money money. Me, as the bride, was always like 'baby, it will work itself out. We will figure it out'. He, men, just cant think that way. They cannot forsee ANYTHING working itself out. So one night, I just listened. I let him vent and talk and yell and scream. And giiirrrlll, he said some **** that made me want to grab that ballpoint pen! But I just kept remembering, this is his time to just let it out.

The other girls are right, he obviously LOVES YOU, he wants to marry you. You didn't put that finger on your hand. But somethign is bothering him. So maybe the approach shouldnt be attacking him, but trying to understand him. Let him just speak and don't respond.

Now, my FH is the one who says 'we will figure it out'.

Just always remember, women deal 100% better than men with any situation under any circumstance. It is just who we are.

If the relationship is over, let it go. A ring does not mean giving up who you are and what you want. But if the problem is simply not agreeing and not getting along, work on it. I wish you and your FH the best of luck. My advice, try NOT mentioning the wedding at all for a while. Try understanding his nonense for a day. They are odd creatures.

Good luck,

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i think this is great advice. maybe he just needs to vent, get everything off his chest, and you guys can go from there.

either way, i hope everything works out for you!!

you guys are the sweetest! seriously

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Posted by tellyy

i think its better to call the whole thing off and also counseling does not work for everyone,but thats up to u

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Thats sorta harsh based on one post. Better to call everything off than to try to work it out?

I'm so sorry you have to deal with this

I'm so sorry to hear what you are going through.

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Posted by mrsg2be11

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Posted by Richiesgirl

I honestly believe planning a wedding is the the true test of strength in your relationship. Every aspect of planning a wedding is STRESSFUL..money, family, opinions..all comes into one. I wish you the best of luck.

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ITA! I feel like it's a true test of your relationship....Take some time away from each other to figure out what you really want

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ITA as well!! You learn a WHOLE about a person

my fh and i got engaged in 08... and booked everything... then we were fighting bad- he was an a-hole - we called it off... and took a year to see if we could make it work without being engaged. we got re-engaged a year later and it is like a new retionship. we appreciate each other now and see each other in a new light. it is possible. good luck- it sucks no matter what!!! i have felt your pain

I'm sorry

like someone said earlier, no matter what happens, you come first. as much as you love your FH, if hes not treating you right, insulting you, making you feel less than yourself, then its time for a change.

Guys do stuff like this alot. They say they love us, they get on the one knee, do the whole show and then when it gets down to planing, they turn into giant ogres! FH and I started arguing about everything under the sun. We almost called off the wedding like 5-10 times. what really kept us going was that last year (2009) was the worst year of our relationship where we actually took a break. After what we went through last year, no wedding argument could ever tear us apart!

But what i learned the most out of our time apart (but we still were in the same apt which ****** even more) was that I deserved the best. I deserved to be treated amazing. And if we were going to arguing, I was going to argue back until i got my point across and he needed to change who he was if it was going to work, and he did change!

So you do you and good luck no matter what!