Can't believe people can be this rude...(a little long)

Original post by Melissa&Steve

Apr 01, 2006 07:14 PM

FH and I wanted to book a certain band very badly, but decided we couldn't afford it. FBIL & FSIL are getting married 1 month after us, and we asked them if they wanted to both use the same band and see if they would give a discount for 2 bookings. They ranted on and on about how they DIDN'T want a band, and had already booked her friend who is a DJ. On St Pat's day FSIL was asking where to go, so FH told her to go see this band (they were playing at a bar). 2 days ago we find out they booked the band for their wedding!!! Never even told us or anything.
It''s not that they booked the band, it's the fact that they did it without telling us. This is one of many things they have done like this. We have tried to be diplomatic all the way along and not step on their toes since we are getting married so close together, and I have given up several ideas that I wanted so she can have them. I am sooo upset about this...am I wrong here???

Tracy&Brian Posted: Apr 02, 2006 01:24 PM

Re: Can't believe people can be this rude...(a little long)

Maybe they didnt like the band you were booking and didnt want to feel pressured to book them. Maybe they purposely didnt want the same band at their wedding since the weddings are only a month apart and all the same guests will be attending. Maybe the band didnt reflect their personal tastes/style. Maybe they really were deadset on a dj until they saw this other band that they just 'had to book' upon seeing.

I really dont think this was rude at all. No offense, but I think its more rude that you are expecting them do book the same band as you want just so you can save money. You of all people (being a bride yourself) should recognize that it is important to make choices for your wedding that reflect your own personal style and not feel pressured to do what other people want you to do. They probably didnt tell you because they were afraid of your reaction. I dont think you should be upset by this. I think you should let it go and realize that they are not in the wrong in any way.

JMO

Melissa&Steve Posted: Apr 02, 2006 01:31 PM

Re: Can't believe people can be this rude...(a little long)

Posted by Tracy&Brian

Maybe they didnt like the band you were booking and didnt want to feel pressured to book them. Maybe they purposely didnt want the same band at their wedding since the weddings are only a month apart and all the same guests will be attending. Maybe the band didnt reflect their personal tastes/style. Maybe they really were deadset on a dj until they saw this other band that they just 'had to book' upon seeing.

I really dont think this was rude at all. No offense, but I think its more rude that you are expecting them do book the same band as you want just so you can save money. You of all people (being a bride yourself) should recognize that it is important to make choices for your wedding that reflect your own personal style and not feel pressured to do what other people want you to do. They probably didnt tell you because they were afraid of your reaction. I dont think you should be upset by this. I think you should let it go and realize that they are not in the wrong in any way.

JMO

WE didn't expect them to book the same band, we just asked if they would like to. They were insistent that they didn't want ANY band. They knew we loved this band and were disappointed we couldn't afford it. What would it have hurt them just to tell us they were considering it? After all, we were the ones who told them about the band in the first place.
Yhis is just one of MANY things that have happened along the way/ They wouldn't even tell us the name of the limo company they were using!!!

ayadali Posted: Apr 02, 2006 02:27 PM

Re: Can't believe people can be this rude...(a little long)

I think your FSIL is being hella shady and if you are able to, I would book the band and totally steal her thunder!!!!!

Blu-ize Posted: Apr 02, 2006 03:00 PM

Re: Can't believe people can be this rude...(a little long)

I know-mostly your pissed that they were not honest with you. They could have said, well we would like to book and band..etc..but would prefer not having the same one since our weddings are so close. Somthing could have been worked out if they were honest I'm sure.

You probably feel used. I know I would.

bluesashbride Posted: Apr 02, 2006 03:31 PM

Re: Can't believe people can be this rude...(a little long)

that's very rude on their part-espcially after you asked to both use them!

a friend ACTS like a friend and those are not the actions of a friend. you don't have have to keep extending yourself and sharing ideas like friends do.

mskittynj Posted: Apr 02, 2006 04:15 PM

Re: Can't believe people can be this rude...(a little long)

That is pretty messed up!!!! You should DEF. say something. Maybe you guys could've booked it cheaper if you did it together, that was mean and rude of them to do this. Don't let them step on you like that, it's just not right!!!!
XOXOXO
Kitty