Can't believe people can be this rude...(a little long)

FH and I wanted to book a certain band very badly, but decided we couldn't afford it. FBIL & FSIL are getting married 1 month after us, and we asked them if they wanted to both use the same band and see if they would give a discount for 2 bookings. They ranted on and on about how they DIDN'T want a band, and had already booked her friend who is a DJ. On St Pat's day FSIL was asking where to go, so FH told her to go see this band (they were playing at a bar). 2 days ago we find out they booked the band for their wedding!!! Never even told us or anything.
It''s not that they booked the band, it's the fact that they did it without telling us. This is one of many things they have done like this. We have tried to be diplomatic all the way along and not step on their toes since we are getting married so close together, and I have given up several ideas that I wanted so she can have them. I am sooo upset about this...am I wrong here???

so sorry. but i would just make sure that you DO NOT tell them about any of your ideas from this point on. (i'm sure they know majority at this point--but it's water under the bridge.)

weddings can bring out the worst in ppl--especailly in brides. she obviously wants to 'out-do' you.....dont let her get the best of you. your wedding will be special--no matter what they do!

There is not a chance she will know one tiny detail of anything we are doing.

What really s**** is I am supposed to be very involved in the planning of her shower. Her MOH is useless, and she asked me awhile ago if I could kind of take charge and help her mom. UGH!!! I don't want to do anything nice for her. I wonder if I will ever get past this...it is just one of the most hurtful things anyone has ever done to me...

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Posted by Melissa&Steve

There is not a chance she will know one tiny detail of anything we are doing.

What really s**** is I am supposed to be very involved in the planning of her shower. Her MOH is useless, and she asked me awhile ago if I could kind of take charge and help her mom. UGH!!! I don't want to do anything nice for her. I wonder if I will ever get past this...it is just one of the most hurtful things anyone has ever done to me...

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Ask her if she ever heard the expression, 'Don't bite the hand that feeds you.' Give it a little more time and see how you feel. This may not be someone you want to remain friends with if you can't trust her. This could have been a great experience for you both to go through together. She can't try to out-do you, and count on you at the same time. I really would be upset if someone did that to me with the band situation. That's immature and just mean. I think you have every right to be upset.

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Posted by sarahradio5

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Posted by Melissa&Steve

There is not a chance she will know one tiny detail of anything we are doing.

What really s**** is I am supposed to be very involved in the planning of her shower. Her MOH is useless, and she asked me awhile ago if I could kind of take charge and help her mom. UGH!!! I don't want to do anything nice for her. I wonder if I will ever get past this...it is just one of the most hurtful things anyone has ever done to me...

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Ask her if she ever heard the expression, 'Don't bite the hand that feeds you.' Give it a little more time and see how you feel. This may not be someone you want to remain friends with if you can't trust her. This could have been a great experience for you both to go through together. She can't try to out-do you, and count on you at the same time. I really would be upset if someone did that to me with the band situation. That's immature and just mean. I think you have every right to be upset.

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Unfortunately, I will have no choice but to have her remain as part of my life...she is marrying FH's brother, who is the king of selfishness. FH and him discussed it tonight, and he blames it on a 'lack of communication'...what a crock!!! Neither of them has even apologized. It is such a mess..we are all in each other's wedding parties...ugh!!!!

Is it too late to innocently ask FSIL if she mentioned the idea of a double booking when she booked the band?

Could you call the band yourself and say I referred my FSIL to you but she was too embarrassed to ask, but would they give a discount if you both used them?

Haha if you could manage to book the same band, you are getting married first!!

But seriously, it really hurts when someone tries to go behind your back. I hope that really isn't what they did, and I hope you can all get past this and eventually be a family.

I know you can be the bigger person! Good luck to you!

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Posted by becca888

Is it too late to innocently ask FSIL if she mentioned the idea of a double booking when she booked the band?

Could you call the band yourself and say I referred my FSIL to you but she was too embarrassed to ask, but would they give a discount if you both used them?

Haha if you could manage to book the same band, you are getting married first!!

But seriously, it really hurts when someone tries to go behind your back. I hope that really isn't what they did, and I hope you can all get past this and eventually be a family.

I know you can be the bigger person! Good luck to you!

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Funny thing is, the band is still available for ourwedding day!!! FH said he wants to do that, and even FMIL said she would pay if we needed the $$. She feels terrible that this went down like this. But, 2 wrongs don't make a right, and I believe in doing the right thing...although it is tempting!!!
Besides....what goes around, comes around, and they will get theirs someday....like maybe the lead singer will get laryngitis...

I agree with everyone that its pretty messed up ....

I would be very mad, especially since you ASKED them to book the band together..

Have you told her how you feel?

You can still be part of someone's life, but get angry with them and express your feelings...

Sorry... totally missed that this girl will be part of your family. Obviously, you can't cut her out! (my bad!).

Well, your wedding is FIRST. And the idea of having that band was yours FIRST. So, I see NO problem with you booking them now, especially if your FMIL is willing to pay for it. You would be doing NOTHING wrong, and she would have some consequences to her actions that one whole side of the family would have already seen the band that will be at her wedding. You can even tell the person who does the booking that you didn't realize that some vendors give a discount to some brides who book together, and you told your FSIL about them, and she already booked them. Ask if you could get the discount now? Maybe you can still save $$.

By the way, there's a band out there called The Mystic that is PHENOMENAL. If you're interested in going with another band, THEY will impress the heck out of your wedding guests. My MOH had them at her wedding, and they were GREAT! We're going with a DJ, but if we had decided to go with a band, it definitely would have been The Mystic. You can check them out at http://themysticmusic.com/ .

Good luck!

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Posted by Melissa&Steve

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Posted by becca888

Is it too late to innocently ask FSIL if she mentioned the idea of a double booking when she booked the band?

Could you call the band yourself and say I referred my FSIL to you but she was too embarrassed to ask, but would they give a discount if you both used them?

Haha if you could manage to book the same band, you are getting married first!!

But seriously, it really hurts when someone tries to go behind your back. I hope that really isn't what they did, and I hope you can all get past this and eventually be a family.

I know you can be the bigger person! Good luck to you!

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Funny thing is, the band is still available for ourwedding day!!! FH said he wants to do that, and even FMIL said she would pay if we needed the $$. She feels terrible that this went down like this. But, 2 wrongs don't make a right, and I believe in doing the right thing...although it is tempting!!!
Besides....what goes around, comes around, and they will get theirs someday....like maybe the lead singer will get laryngitis...

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Ha!~ call them and book them if that's what you want. I bet they give you a huge discount because it's so close. Just ask-you have nothing to lose and you probably would get the band cheaper than them and have that to throw in their face.

'Ha!~ call them and book them if that's what you want. I bet they give you a huge discount because it's so close. Just ask-you have nothing to lose and you probably would get the band cheaper than them and have that to throw in their face.'

YEAH! What she said! You go girl!

Also-just because you have the DJ doesn't mean you can't have the band too.

Think of that..you would be so unique compared to them.