Can't We All Just get Along???

Original post by mrswask

Dec 17, 2003 06:57 PM

Guys -
I think some of us take things said on this board waaay too seriously!! We all have different opinions and have had many different experiences with vendors! Your vendor may have been the best in the world at your wedding and unfortunately - someone else may have had a bad one. I love this board and I have gotten so much help from everyone - but lately it seems like so many people can't wait to jump down someone else's throat for giving an honest opinion. I know we're all stressed with the holidays and wedding planning - but can't we just all get along?!?

wed2jlo Posted: Dec 18, 2003 09:55 AM

Re: Can't We All Just get Along???

Some of us new comers are even afraid to post decisions on our halls for the backlash. We need your help ladies, we are just beginning a long journey of decisions and planning.....

August2004 Posted: Dec 18, 2003 12:36 PM

Re: Can't We All Just get Along???

I have to agree !!! Some people defend vendors they are using to no end, even to the point of getting really mean with others on this board. They defend vendors like they are their best friends. No offense to anyone, but no matter how much you love your vendor, you are still just money to them !!!! Yes some are more caring than others, but I would not take their 'affection' to heart. JMO

oakslady Posted: Dec 18, 2003 12:44 PM

Re: Can't We All Just get Along???

i think this whole defending of vendors is kind of strange myself -
i tend to think something is up with the bride when she gets way too upset about someone else's opinion about a vendor -
i think everyone's experience will be unique and we have to look at the whole and not just one or 2 folk's opinions
i had a makeup trial recently with one vendor and i wasnt really impressed - but the person in question seems to be really well liked here so i havent said anything -
it is sad when the environment is such that you just dont want to say anything for fear of causing board drama
ladies - it really isnt personal if someone doesnt like your vendor - unless you are the vendor and then you really shouldnt be yelling at people on the board it is rude -
there is more than enough stress involved in planning a wedding - why should we create more amongst ourselves over things like differing opinions-
this is the usa after all and we are suppose to be about freedom of thought and expression -
come on ladies give it a break - just because someone else had a different opinion dont have a hissy fit - it isnt becomming at all
jmo as always

JENNCHRIS Posted: Dec 18, 2003 12:51 PM

Re: Can't We All Just get Along???

it does get a little catty! but you have to understand that planning a wedding is a huge thing and hearing a negative thing about a vendor that you are going to use or have used is a big deal, it makes you doubt things and it brings the claws out.

RedHead Posted: Dec 18, 2003 12:51 PM

Re: Can't We All Just get Along???

Well said Oakslady!!!

ChristineC68 Posted: Dec 18, 2003 01:16 PM

Re: Can't We All Just get Along???

Threads like this make me sad. I really think for the most part we all get along. For every negative post there are dozens of positive posts.

I agree people need to realize that not everyone is going to love every vendor represented on the board. It's nothing personal against the bride or NW that used them or in most cases the vendor.

LImom Posted: Dec 20, 2003 11:02 PM

Re: Can't We All Just get Along???

Personally, I would want to hear anything negative someone has to say about a vendor my daughter has booked. With specific information, it may help us learn of their short comings and ward off similar disappointments. Just hearing the good things really doesn't help much.
So here goes girls. Please share what you know. FM me if you feel some girls don't want to hear it:

Woodbury county club
Fine Arts photos and video
Designer limos
Flowers by Burton
Bridal Reflections, Massapequa
The Elegant Bride - tiara and MOB gown
Here Comes the BridesMaid
Simply Elegant - invitations

Thanks.

MrsTC Posted: Dec 21, 2003 06:12 PM

Re: Can't We All Just get Along???

LI Mom, exactly.

The reason why people on here are not supposed to vendor bash is because it is unfair to girls who are spending $$$ on vendors - it can cause many hurt feelings.

Use FM - thats what its there for.

louise Posted: Dec 21, 2003 06:35 PM

Re: Can't We All Just get Along???

There was a girl on here a while ago that had said something about vendors and she was right.(I understand we use this site as a tool to help plan our big day.But the one thing we all have to remember is that all of the vendors on these boards have a life and or family to support.And by someone bashing a vendor its like taking food out of there mouth and or there familys mouths ,and possibly devesatating there income on how they support there family.)And when she said that she was right .We have to look at the hole picture here when anyone bashs a vendor and what the consequenecs can be on the vendor.Some vendors have good days and bad days just like us.What i have come to realize on here is that this board is for helping us and trying to be positive.Just because a vendor was not right for one person doesnt mean they wont be right for someone else.Girls lets really try hard to be positive.

JimmysBride Posted: Dec 21, 2003 07:10 PM

Re: Can't We All Just get Along???

I don't mean to sound cruel but it's not my job to worry whether or not a vendor working in the multimillion dollar a year wedding industry that rips off brides on a daily basis (yes, I'm sure it costs the company so much more $$$ to bring you flowers on Sat as opposed to a Friday -- just an example --not speaking of anyone in particular) can put food on their table. It's business. If they don't do a good job, word will spread whether it's on these boards or not. And if they are consistently not doing a good job, maybe they should consider a different line of work to feed their families with. Or, at least, take some constructive criticism.

Again, I'm sorry if I sound heartless, but I have an extremely hard time pitying people who feel thoroughly justified in charging struggling young people just trying start their lives together absurd amounts of money just because it's a wedding instead of say, a graduation party.

I think vendors generate a good deal of business from these boards and I give most of the women on here enough credit that they would not disregard or choose a vendor based on a single person's experience with that vendor. Besides, these boards are so biased when it comes to vendors that negative reviews or comments are deleted or editted so quickly that not that many brides have a chance to read them.

I believe in honest reviews. I believe that negative experiences should be shared in a fair way without totally trashing a vendor. I would never get on here and bash a small mom-and-pop operation. I believe a vendor should earn the right to advertise on these boards through good service. And yes, vendors are entitled have bad days, mishaps, and misfortune which is why I say they should never be totally trashed. But sometimes experiences are not so positive and I do not feel they should be sugar-coated.

Ok. I'm done ranting now.

Jenn P Posted: Dec 21, 2003 09:14 PM

Re: Can't We All Just get Along???

Well said, Jimmy's Bride!!

Moehick Posted: Dec 21, 2003 09:46 PM

Re: Can't We All Just get Along???

I couldn't have said it better myself!! Good Job!

Posted by JimmysBride

I don't mean to sound cruel but it's not my job to worry whether or not a vendor working in the multimillion dollar a year wedding industry that rips off brides on a daily basis (yes, I'm sure it costs the company so much more $$$ to bring you flowers on Sat as opposed to a Friday -- just an example --not speaking of anyone in particular) can put food on their table. It's business. If they don't do a good job, word will spread whether it's on these boards or not. And if they are consistently not doing a good job, maybe they should consider a different line of work to feed their families with. Or, at least, take some constructive criticism.

Again, I'm sorry if I sound heartless, but I have an extremely hard time pitying people who feel thoroughly justified in charging struggling young people just trying start their lives together absurd amounts of money just because it's a wedding instead of say, a graduation party.

I think vendors generate a good deal of business from these boards and I give most of the women on here enough credit that they would not disregard or choose a vendor based on a single person's experience with that vendor. Besides, these boards are so biased when it comes to vendors that negative reviews or comments are deleted or editted so quickly that not that many brides have a chance to read them.

I believe in honest reviews. I believe that negative experiences should be shared in a fair way without totally trashing a vendor. I would never get on here and bash a small mom-and-pop operation. I believe a vendor should earn the right to advertise on these boards through good service. And yes, vendors are entitled have bad days, mishaps, and misfortune which is why I say they should never be totally trashed. But sometimes experiences are not so positive and I do not feel they should be sugar-coated.

Ok. I'm done ranting now.

palebride Posted: Dec 22, 2003 12:12 PM

Re: Can't We All Just get Along???

but we do have to keep each other's feelings in mind, without ever thinking of the vendor. i think a pointt hat is missed way too often is that for every vendor on here that is bashed, there is a good chance that another bride has already given her deposit to that vendor and now has to second guess her choie until her wedding day.
i don't know about most of you, but this is my first wedding planning experience, and although i did research and met with each vendor individually and booked the ones i thought were right for me....what the heck do i really know about them? they could be horrible on the day of my wedding. i hope for the best.
so when i see a vendor that i chose being bashed on here, it makes me not want to visit the boards anymore. it mkaes me second guess myself, and that not what this place is for.
i feel that if you have something negative to say, say it in FM, not in the public forum. If you didn't like the vendor, you are entitled to your opinion, but I have read some really horrible things aout vendors I'm having at my wedding. and frankly, I just dont' appreciate it.
Honesty is great.....but it's hard to separate fact from opinion....

Maribelle7777 Posted: Dec 22, 2003 12:29 PM

Re: Can't We All Just get Along???

Posted by louise

But the one thing we all have to remember is that all of the vendors on these boards have a life and or family to support.And by someone bashing a vendor its like taking food out of there mouth and or there familys mouths ,and possibly devesatating there income on how they support there family.)And when she said that she was right .We have to look at the hole picture here when anyone bashs a vendor and what the consequenecs can be on the vendor..

Yes and on the same note, brides/grooms should realize that just because one bride didn't like a vendor doesn't mean you should stay far away. Before the internet people still asked and gave opinions. It just wasn't as rampant as it is with a message board. This sort of forum makes it easier to post opinions, good or bad. More people see it. I don't think that brides should freak out when another bride chose 'XYZ' vendor and had a horrible experience. They should rely on their OWN feelings and opinions and take others into consideration but not rely solely on a bad opinion.

Mary

KarenK122 Posted: Dec 22, 2003 12:37 PM

Re: Can't We All Just get Along???

All opinions that are based on fact should be stated here. Not just the good ones. This is a great source for information but if the only information you recieve is good then you are not getting the full story.

I had a vendor that was bashed to no end on these boards and did it stop me from hiring them. No. I researched what I wanted and they fit that mold to a tee and I could not be happier with the results. In fact they were one of my best vendors.

You choose your vendors on how you interacted with them. If there are negative reviews just keep them in mind so the same does not happen to you. Learn from others mistakes but you shouldn't second guess yourself if you made an educated decision.

ChristineC68 Posted: Dec 22, 2003 12:51 PM

Re: Can't We All Just get Along???

There is a line between giving an honest negative review/experience vs bashing a vendor.

The rationally explained negative posts are helpful to planning brides. How else do we learn what to ask and what to look for? It's not fair to say anything negative should be FM'd.

A lot of what I addressed with certain vendors came from reading about a difficulty a bride had with a vendor they used.

But bashing vendors is counter-productive as drama almost always results and the thread is pulled. So while the experience is true, the point is lost and becomes more frustrating for the original poster and useless to everyone else. (They are also against LIW's terms of service.)

We all need to take everything with a grain of salt. Not everyone is going to have the same experiences or opinions. Just like, your worst enemy is someone else's best friend.

bridzilla Posted: Dec 22, 2003 02:13 PM

Re: Can't We All Just get Along???

I completely agree with Jimmy's Bride. We are putting a lot of time and money into our wedding, I want the whole truth about a vendor, good and bad. I don't expect people to bash a vendor for fun. But if I had a bad experience from someone, I will post it in this forum. Whether anyone choose to heed my warning, if their choice. If I didn't let you know, I would feel like I am doing a disservice to brides-to-be.
I am trying to make informed decisions, and the only way I can get a non-biased opinion is by reading these posts. I can't trust the vendors, because they are trying to make money. So who else am I supposed to go to for advice. I am the first person among my friends and family gatting married, so I don't have anyone else to get opinions from. I rely on these posts. I am on here everyday, asking for advice, or giving it,
A wedding is one day that we all work really hard to make perfect. And that is exactly how I want the day to run, perfect. Not, 'Well it was lovely, except for the flowers.'
And if you can't tell, I have become very frustrated with my search for vendors.

lullabella Posted: Dec 22, 2003 02:21 PM

Re: Can't We All Just get Along???

No, probably not....Ok just kidding

Mich1108 Posted: Dec 22, 2003 03:47 PM

Re: Can't We All Just get Along???

I agree with ChristineC68. There is a difference between bashing & explaining rationally why you did not have a good experience. It's not what you say but how you say it. If you have a negative experience with a vendor, you should most definitely share it but explain why they did not meet YOUR expectations. I kept being told one of my vendors was 'horrible.' The comments were just overwhelmingly negative with not many explanations which didn't help me at all since I already booked them. When a couple of brides took the time to go into detail, it was a huge help b/c I went to my vendor prior to the wedding with all the feedback & told him explicitly what I expected. I know it made a huge difference b/c they were aware that I was not going to put up with anything less.

Also, another poster said something about being older & coming from a different place & that's another good point. Everyone has different expectations b/c we all come from different financial backgrounds, different cultures, different age groups so we have different priorities and so we WILL all have different experiences with some of the same vendors.

palebride Posted: Dec 22, 2003 04:11 PM

Re: Can't We All Just get Along???

i guess this is one thing we will all never agree on. while i can understand where people are coming from with their arguments here, i simply dont' agree with them.

we just have to keep in mind that negative does not equal bashing and bashing is against LIW's rules. and bashing threads will be removed...not negative threads!