Carlyle on the Green Brides (help)

I had no idea that the maitre D' tip would be so high. Please help... they suggested that we tip around $1800.00 - what are the rest of you going to give? At this point we just cannot afford to give this on top of all of the rest. I thought that most places say around 3 to 4 dollars per person. Again, I don't want to under tip but I feel this is really high. Please help and let me know your opinion on this. Thanks.

Carlyle on the Green Brides (help)

i am getting married at carlyle in october.... who suggested that amount- someone there?

Carlyle on the Green Brides (help)

All the places I looked at suggested $1-$2 per person.

Oct. Bride -

Yes - when I paid the bill - it was at the bottom - what are you going to do? please let me know. Thanks.

june bride

when is your wedding? how many people are you having? i am not giving them $1800....we are already paying an 18% service charge, right? is that for the waitresses and hostesses? i am having about 220 people....i might do like $4 a head.....i think that is fine, no?

Oct. Bride

I agree that $4 a head is a good tip - I am getting married very soon. How do we tip so much less than what they are asking for? I don't know what to do about it. I am having about 200 guest 204 at this point. When you booked the place they didn't discuss the maitre d tip with you? It is for 2 maitre d's and two head waiter. I too paid the 18% they told me that doesn't cover them. They also put the 18% on the valet parking - I didn't think that was fail either. I love the place but the money is really crazy. I hope it is all worth it.

JUNE BRIDE

i thought the 18% service charge was for everyone, then you just tip the maitre d whatever you feel is appropriate......i thought the 18% was for waiters, hostess, bartender, valet, coat people, bathroom people? is this right? i have been trying to read up on tipping and the knot.com said if you're paying a service charge, anything else you give is under your discretion....i love the place also....but there is no way i can give $1800 on top of everything....did you do your menu with them yet? how did that go? i think i'm going to stick to my $4 a head for the maitre d.......what did it say at the bottom of the contract when you paid- something like 'suggested gratuity amount'?

A REPLY FOR OCT BRIDE

YES, IT SAID THE RECOMMENDED TIP (SOMETHING LIKE THAT) I TOO THINK $4 A HEAD IS A VERY NICE TIP - BUT I REALLY FEEL FUNNY. YES, I WENT TO THE MENU MEETING AND I HAVE PAID MY BILL - I'M GETTING MARRIED IN 2 WEEKS. I WISH I NEW SOMEONE WHO HAS GOTTEN MARRIED THERE AND COULD TELL ME. ARE YOU USING STEFANS FLORIST? OR ANY OF THE HOUSE VENDERS? I'LL LET YOU KNOW ALL ABOUT OUR DAY WHEN I GET BACK. I'M SURE WE HAVE MADE A GREAT CHOICE - IT'S JUST WHEN THE WEDDING GETS CLOSE AND YOU REALLY REALIZE THE AMOUNT OF MONEY YOU ARE SPENDING IT GETS CRAZY. I AM NOW STARTING TO CUT CORNERS. THINGS I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO ADD - I'M LIKE NO WAY!

A REPLY FOR OCT BRIDE

doesn't maitre d get a set amount for the day usually? like $200-500?? If you are worried put whatever money you plan to give as tip in a very pretty envelope, seal it, give it to him at the end of the event, and run...

june bride/yabbobay

june bride- my fiance just talked to a friend of his that got married at carlyle a year ago or so.....he said he gave the maitre d like $500 or $600, he can't remember....he said his maitre d was great- his name was steve (not steve carlyle, the owner, another steve)....did they tell when you paid who your maitre d would be??? so i think we're being generous with our $4 a head! so i think we do what yabbobaay says- put it in an envelope and run! :) i haven't gotten my florist yet- i'm from brooklyn, so i might just use one from around here....and my band is vali music- they're from new jersey! we saw them at a friend's wedding and loved them.....who are you using? i'm still slightly confused about this tipping issue though- so coat check and bathroom people, do we just let the guests tip them...or is that included in the dumb 18% service charge?? ok, sorry for all the questions....

answer to some of your quest.

All the tipping is included in the 18% charge (bathroom, coat check, waiter's etc.) just not the maitre'D (our place has two) I think most places has 1 per party. Plus two captains. So they told me that the 18% doesn't cover them. You will see the day you pay your final bill it will say on the bottom. Mine said $1800. - $2100. so I don't know what we are going to do. I am using Stefans Florist, Elite Band, and Fine Art Photography. I went to see Behind the Schenes, and Creative Compositions (two out of the three house photo's) We came very close to using Creative (loved them) but for the same money we got a lot more pictures. Anyway good luck.

answer to some of your quest.

Everyone- I'm reading this thread with my mouth open. Not only have I not even found a place, but I had no idea you had to tip anyone in the catering hall on top of the already ridiculous 18%!!!! Is this EVERYWHERE??? I mean, I have a master's degree, and I don't make that much money/day!!! I just don't understand this...sorry, had to give my two cents here...

answer to some of your quest.

Tipping is something that we definately put into the budget as it really adds up. Most places we saw stated a 18% grat., a few still had 15% (Scotto Brothers). This was last August. All at least mentioned that this grat. did not cover the MatreD and or Bridal Assistant. It sound like the going range is $2-$4 per head for the MatreD and $1 per head for the bridal assistant.

answer to some of your quest.

They don't usually call it a 'gratuity' because then they couldn't factor the tax into that 18%. By calling it a 'service charge' they are able to count your tax into the amount they factor the 18% from. Sigh! Yes, it adds up but I don't personally know anyone who has not felt some irritation at it nor do I know anyone who has found a way around it.

answer to some of your quest. Good Point Elizabeth

They get us coming and going dont they. So where do you think that extra 'tax' goes?

answer to some of your quest. Good Point Elizabeth

speaking as a former waitress...think about it...you have 10 people at a table * $100 = $180 in tips. If you are at a hall where there is one waiter, he still must split it with the bartenders and busboys and possibly others. so maybe he gets $100 + $50 for the party itself = $150 a day. And its a tough job...I know it hurts your budget, but you do want nice service and they have to pay good service. My only advice is to have all brides post their service after their big day to make sure you will get what you pay for.

answer to some of your quest.

With respect to the bridal assistant tip, I didn't calculate it 'per head', since she is really only there to help YOU, and you alone. She does not service the guests. You can give her approx. $100, which is fine. At least that's what Crest Hollow told me, and that's what I did.