Cash bar? Open bar?

OK first, I'm having my wedding at a lessings too and FH wants bottled beer, but I'm worried about how much it is gonna cost.

Second we're irish and have alcoholics on both sides, both those that do and don't admit it, including me (I don't drink anymore) But Iwant the people who are gonna be there and want to drink, to be able to drink

lastly and most important, it's your wedding, it doesn't matter what people expect, every wedding is different, what are people gonna do, pull a $50 out of your envelope after they get there and find out there is no liquor! That is just sad and a measure of a person. I think you'll be able to get the liquor worked back in somehow if you don't meet your limit, but don't let anyone have you go broke just to have it at the bar. I think people can survive a Sunday afternoon wedding without a little scotch or vodka. And I would bet all the guinness in Ireland, that someone would walk to the bar to get their hard liquor fix! Sorry if this offends it's not what I meant to do.

I've never been to a wedding where there wasn't an open bar....
No wait, In London I went to a wedding and it was a cash bar but my date paid for everything.

Never here of one here. Most halls include it in the package

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Posted by NY031978

When ppl think wedding they think...good food,good music and Open Bar!

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exactly. i'd prefer an open bar.

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Posted by Pencils

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Posted by Marchbride07

I mean its your wedding, your call but I think regardless of the time of day, an open bar should include everything. And no one wants to walk to the othjer side of a building to buy a scotch! I know if I am at a wedding, even during the day, I am gonna order a vodka club soda. But that might just the the Irish in me.

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Good thing you're not coming to my wedding, then, as you wouldn't get one! (And you can just walk through a door at the side of the dance floor to get to the pub.) My family is Irish too--not my FH's, he's Jewish--and we don't drink vodka, we drink beer or whiskey.

As someone else mentioned, we also have some alcoholics in the family, both sides, so when I told a few family members that we weren't having open bar, they said 'GOOD!' We don't need any embarrassments. If we were having a Saturday night wedding, it wouldn't be an issue, it being Sunday afternoon it seemed different, though. At the Three Village Inn, where we looked first, they don't even offer open bar with their Sunday weddings, only beer, wine and mimosas, which is where I got the idea.

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I wasn't trying to knock you, I am sorry if you got that impression, I was just giving my opinion. at the end of the day of you have good food and music, that is what people will remember...

Editted
Ahh! I meant I WASN'T trying to knock you...oh well, I look like a b itch not the first time sorry

I expect their to be an open bar at any wedding I attend!! I was at one cash bar wedding at that was a very small affair in Puerto Rico. I just just being a NYer, I feel it is important to have the alcohol included or none at all! HTH!

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Posted by diva7531
Second we're irish and have alcoholics on both sides, both those that do and don't admit it, including me (I don't drink anymore) B Sorry if this offends it's not what I meant to do.

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I'm not offended. I'm an alcoholic myself, but have been sober for more than five years now. It's amazing how being sober has changed my opinion of drinking. (Although I was never one for hard liquor.) I'm not one of those people who think that others shouldn't drink, I don't care if people do, it's not their fault I have this illness, but on the other hand one of the reasons why I didn't want to have a Saturday night wedding is I didn't want my wedding to be a huge drunken bacchanalia. I'm just not comfortable with that, and this is my wedding, after all. (My FH likes the occasional drink, but he can take it or leave it. Mostly he wants me to be happy.)

It's really interesting the difference between the responses here and on Weddingbee--there a lot of people said things like how they couldn't believe anyone would ever expect an open bar at a wedding. Not a Long Islander, obviously

And, BTW, I'm not offended by anyone's posts. Besides, my wedding is not your average Long Island wedding, and was not planned to be. My FH and I are older than most of you, a large proportion of our guests are coming from off Long Island, and neither of our families have a tradition of huge, expensive weddings. No one's going to blink an eye at our beer & wine only wedding if that's what we have (and frozen margarita, I think.)

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Posted by abslout

i would expect an open bar and i have never been to a wedding that never had an open bar

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I agree 100%

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Posted by Pencils

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Posted by diva7531
Second we're irish and have alcoholics on both sides, both those that do and don't admit it, including me (I don't drink anymore) B Sorry if this offends it's not what I meant to do.

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I'm not offended. I'm an alcoholic myself, but have been sober for more than five years now. It's amazing how being sober has changed my opinion of drinking. (Although I was never one for hard liquor.) I'm not one of those people who think that others shouldn't drink, I don't care if people do, it's not their fault I have this illness, but on the other hand one of the reasons why I didn't want to have a Saturday night wedding is I didn't want my wedding to be a huge drunken bacchanalia. I'm just not comfortable with that, and this is my wedding, after all. (My FH likes the occasional drink, but he can take it or leave it. Mostly he wants me to be happy.)

It's really interesting the difference between the responses here and on Weddingbee--there a lot of people said things like how they couldn't believe anyone would ever expect an open bar at a wedding. Not a Long Islander, obviously

And, BTW, I'm not offended by anyone's posts. Besides, my wedding is not your average Long Island wedding, and was not planned to be. My FH and I are older than most of you, a large proportion of our guests are coming from off Long Island, and neither of our families have a tradition of huge, expensive weddings. No one's going to blink an eye at our beer & wine only wedding if that's what we have (and frozen margarita, I think.)

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I think it would be fine if you have beer and wine and something like that... I just wouldn't offer anything else for cash (I wouldn't have a cash bar)... just my opinion....

In the tri-state area I believe people expect it. I feel as though if you are providing them with beer and wine only it is fine. I actually looked into the same thing to save a few bucks, but my hall wouldnt budge on the open bar.

FYI: I just got invited to a wedding in September upstate which is a dry. So different areas=different attitudes.

i say every wedding is different. you do what makes you happy and what you can afford. and dont let anyone make your feel bad because they are doing something different then you...

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Posted by PreshusSmurf

I've never attended a wedding that didn't have an open bar .... in fact, even the OOT weddings I've gone to had one!

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same here. Ive been to many weddings and they were open bar and ive also been to weddings in california and they were all open bar as well.

However everyones wedding is different and your situation is completely different than everyone elses. To each their own

I live in Wisconsin now, used to live on Long Island, and am from south Florida. I can tell you from experience that its is definitely the norm to have an open bar at your wedding if youre in the tri-state NY area. Its defintely NOT the norm in the other two places I have lived. Its just not expected the way it is in New York. I was just at a cash bar wedding a few months ago for one of our friends here. To each his own I think because alcohol is VERYYYY expensive, as im sure you all know.
Im having an open bar at my wedding but its only for 4 hours cause our hall doesnt include it....we have to pay, and we cant afford to have it for more than 4 hours.

For NY weddings (in the tri-state area) I expect an open bar as well. However, it is not as common out of this area...friends of ours who are getting married in MA are having an open bar at their cocktail hour, but just wine and beer at the reception.

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Posted by NinaChris07
I just wouldn't offer anything else for cash (I wouldn't have a cash bar)... just my opinion....

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We're not. If they want to sneak next door to the pub, we're not going to stop them, but there won't be anyone taking cash at the bars. I don't think they're set up for it anyway. Besides, we may very well end up with the full open bar. I think we were a little too optomistic with our guest list--some people who said 'of course we're coming' to the STDs have said 'we're so sorry but we can't make it' to the acutal invitation. Oh well.