Catholic Girls- man and wife

I'm picking out my prayers and reading my Together for Life book when I come across page 76- Statement of Intentions

It says : Will you love and honor each other as man and wife for the rest of your lives?

Not that I'm some raging feminist with hairy armpits or anything (if you are more power to you) but I find that offensive. Is it written in stone that the priest will say that? Do you think he would think I was a nut if I asked him to say husband and wife ? Anyone else come across this?

ETA- spelling. sorry i'm tired

no change it - my FH and I discussed - for all eternity!!

On Curb your enthusiasm on HBO, the guy says for the rest of my life and the wife says for all eternity and he says my life is long enough - thats all I signed up for LOL

SOrry to get off topic, but you should change your vows to what you want and I like your idea :)

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Posted by dita531


Not that I'm some raging feminist with hairy armpits or anything (if you are more power to you) but I find that offensive.

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Lord have mercy you had me rolling on the floor with that one. And I am not even Catholic. I hope you are able to find vows that please you though.

I'm just ticked that I would have to say man and wife.. especially after I've been reading this @#% book and all these prayers and listening to songs and FH who's mom insisted that we have a mass just went to bed.

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Posted by amy&anthony

no change it - my FH and I discussed - for all eternity!!

On Curb your enthusiasm on HBO, the guy says for the rest of my life and the wife says for all eternity and he says my life is long enough - thats all I signed up for LOL

SOrry to get off topic, but you should change your vows to what you want and I like your idea :)

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But can you change teh statement of intentions? Isn't that different from vows?

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Posted by Goldi1021

We (Jewish people) do our vows in Hebrew so who knows WHAT we are saying. (Actually I have a translation of the vows, but noone really reads them - or do they)

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That's awesome- but do you know what you're saying? I feel like there trying to trick me into saying things here and it's in English!!

Their renewal of vows years later

The priest says, 'Will you love and honor each other as man and wife for all eternity?'

He says hunny thats not what we agreed on, we said the rest of our lives...

I couldnt tell you about vows etc - I havent gotten that far :)

Good Luck - you should do whatever you want.

The worst part is that none of my close friends are Catholic or even remotely religious. My MOH wanted to get our name and date imprinted on 'those wafers that you eat'. I get teased for it and I'm not even religious- holidays only!

If I have to say man and wife or anything like that and I make eye contact with one of them I am going to be rolling on the floor laughing.

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Posted by dita531

That's awesome- but do you know what you're saying? I feel like there trying to trick me into saying things here and it's in English!!

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Yeah I do know actually. Go figure. I have a book that has all of the translations of the prayers, vows and blessings for a Jewish wedding.

The big one (vow) during the ring ceremony:

'By this ring you are consecrated to me as my wife (or husband when it is your turn) in accordance with the traditions of Moses and Israel.'

There are also welcoming prayers and prayers said over wine BEFORE the ring ceremony. AFTER the ring ceremony, there are 7 marital blessings said in Hebrew (and sometimes English) by either the rabbi or a married couple (if you like). Just an FYI. I don't know if there is much room for writing our own vows but usually there is pre-marital meetings/counseling done with he Rabbi. As he/she gets to know you as a couple, the Rabbi can more or less personalize your ceremony to suit you.

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Posted by WeddingsRock

Can I play devil's advocate and ask, 'If you are not that religious, why are you getting married in a church?' They do have other church like spaces where you can get married.

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It is important to my FH that we get married in a Catholic church.

I am pretty sure you can change it to 'husband and wife'...that is what I am planning on...no hairy armpits here, but I am pretty pro-female!

Yes, you can change it to husband and wife - I did where applicable and I think most of my Catholic friends did as well. It is just a case of using inclusive language - it is not changing the meaning of the sacrament. I did not change my name and also asked the priest not to say Mr. & Mrs. XYZ, to just introduce us as husband and wife or by our first names. Actually, during this part of the vows, I think he just said 'love and honor one another for the rest of your lives' and left out man and wife altogether.

ETA: I was also very picky about the readings and did not end up using an old testament reading, because I just did not want to have any that referred to me being subserviant or how I was created from Adam's rib. If other people choose to have those, it's their choice, but not what I wanted to have as my wedding readings.

I pretty sure you can change it. My cousin's had obey in it but only for her to say not him! She took it right out!!

Not to spin off but my church told me that they don't/wont say 'we no pronounce you man and wife' or 'You may kiss the bride' What's up with that?
We asked if he could and he said NO! It's not written so they don't say it!

Happen to anyone else?

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Posted by dpli

ETA: I was also very picky about the readings and did not end up using an old testament reading, because I just did not want to have any that referred to me being subserviant or how I was created from Adam's rib. If other people choose to have those, it's their choice, but not what I wanted to have as my wedding readings.

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I was reading through the readings the other night and was thinking oh my god, I will not have this at all! FI just laughed.

Most priests will let you change that wording.

Also, about the creation story. There are two of them, you could use the one about how they were created at the same time

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Posted by Ladybug63

I pretty sure you can change it. My cousin's had obey in it but only for her to say not him! She took it right out!!

Not to spin off but my church told me that they don't/wont say 'we no pronounce you man and wife' or 'You may kiss the bride' What's up with that?
We asked if he could and he said NO! It's not written so they don't say it!

Happen to anyone else?

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I didn't even think about that. Honestly I really didn't think I would be worrying about the prayers and readings but now I'm seeing I don't like some of the things they say.