So FH and I own a home and have lived together for the past year. We have our first meeting with our priest (I have met him but now have a meeting as a couple).
Past brides, current ones, etc; did you tell this to your priest, how did he react? The closer it gets the more nervous I am.
donegal419
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Re: Catholic & Living together
they don't approve, nor does the Church, but they will not judge you. it is fairly common nowadays.
DH and I were not living together when we were engaged, so we did not face this issue, but i would say it's best to be honest. the priest won't say too much--he may ask you to reconsider and/or to go to Confession, but i would think that would be it. they are there to help you. it may become a topic of conversation during pre-cana as it was for some couples in my pre-cana group.
lmr2282
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Re: Catholic & Living together
Our deacon was so cool. I think it depends on the person. But you shouldn't lie. And living to gether doesn't make you a bad catholic or anything. Plus I think their stats are so wrong. Higher divorce rate if you dont live together first.
korndoggie
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Re: Catholic & Living together
Our priest didn't bat an eye when he saw we had the same address.
But he did call us fornicators. That wasn't really fun to hear but we laughed on our way home.
espo722
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Re: Catholic & Living together
actually, the statistic is if you live together first you have a higher rate of divorce.
to each his own, but couples who live together first actually are more likely to get divorced statistically speaking. i suggest googling it.
lmr2282
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Re: Catholic & Living together
Posted by espo722
actually, the statistic is if you live together first you have a higher rate of divorce.
to each his own, but couples who live together first actually are more likely to get divorced statistically speaking. i suggest googling it.
I think the stats are wrong, I dont see how living together before marriage can affect the divorce rates that much. I think that if you live together first you know what you significant other is all about. You can trouble shoot a lot of things before you get married. I think thats why people have such a hard time adjusting to the first year of marriage who haven't lived together.
korndoggie
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Re: Catholic & Living together
Posted by lmr2282
Posted by espo722
actually, the statistic is if you live together first you have a higher rate of divorce.
to each his own, but couples who live together first actually are more likely to get divorced statistically speaking. i suggest googling it.
I think the stats are wrong, I dont see how living together before marriage can affect the divorce rates that much. I think that if you live together first you know what you significant other is all about. You can trouble shoot a lot of things before you get married. I think thats why people have such a hard time adjusting to the first year of marriage who haven't lived together.
I think those stats are made up by the people who write the pre-cana books to scare the crap out of you.
anamaree77
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Re: Catholic & Living together
My Priest is Old School. We live in NJ and they're in Manhattan but I caught my priest hanging out at the local Center of Town a couple of weeks ago and I am CONVINCED he's trying to catch us! I know that's crazy!!!!
PinkRoses1
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Re: Catholic & Living together
I took a class in college where we discussed that statistic... our professor said that one way of interpreting the stat is that people who live together before marriage most likely are a little less conservative. They don't feel they have to be bound by social convention. So these are also the same types of people who, if things really fall apart, also feel it's ok to get a divorce. People who DON'T live together are typically more conservative, and therefore wouldn't see divorce as an option.
But I agree -- it does seem bass-ackwards at first glance!
Browneyesncute
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Re: Catholic & Living together
I told mine, he just quietly passed us a brochure on how living together before marriage isn't good!
lmr2282
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Re: Catholic & Living together
Posted by korndoggie
Posted by lmr2282
Posted by espo722
actually, the statistic is if you live together first you have a higher rate of divorce.
to each his own, but couples who live together first actually are more likely to get divorced statistically speaking. i suggest googling it.
I think the stats are wrong, I dont see how living together before marriage can affect the divorce rates that much. I think that if you live together first you know what you significant other is all about. You can trouble shoot a lot of things before you get married. I think thats why people have such a hard time adjusting to the first year of marriage who haven't lived together.
I think those stats are made up by the people who write the pre-cana books to scare the crap out of you.
Your probably right!
stacyconway
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Re: Catholic & Living together
My fiance and I have been living together for 6 years. I also didn't know if we should be honest with our priest however, lying to a priest does not sit well on my conscious. The priest asked for his information and when he got to me and my address, he just asked if it was the same. I said yes. That was it, no discussion about it, but I wondered if he left alone because he is a family friend to my fiance's family. When I received my 'together for life' book from the church, it even had a statistic of how many people live together before marriage. I guess it is a good thing that we live in NY, because my friend that lives in Virginia, couldn't get married in a Catholic church, they had to go to a Lutheran church because they lived together. My advise is to be honest!
