My fiance and I decided we would have a 'kid age limit' of 12 and over invited to our wedding. Main reason is that I have a lot of children 10 and under in my family and didn't want a bunch of kids running around. In his family, there is one 5 year old niece (who is not the best disciplined child) and we excluded her as well, thinking it wouldn't be fair to allow her and not the others.
Problem is, my fiance's brother, sister in law AND parents say they won't come unless the 5 year old can come. I think they are being ridiculous and are making this day more about them. My fiance and I are refusing to budge and are at the point where we hope they just stay home after all the fuss they have made.
My fiance and I are paying 95% of our wedding with only MY parents paying the remaining 5% (no contribution is being made by his family at all). Therefore, I don't believe they should have any opinions at all.
Who's wrong here?
shamrock12472
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Re: Children at the Wedding
It's your wedding and you should do as you want. You shouldn't let anyone bully you into doing something you don't want to do. I think it is ridiculous that they gave you an ultimatum. I had a bunch of kids at my wedding ranging from 18 months to 15 years old. I barely even knew they were there. But that is what I wanted. I think you should stick to your original choice.
On another note, my sister got married at Rock Hill and has all her events there. They did a fantastic job! She got some really get pics with the sun setting and on the golf course.
buggiegirl
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Re: Children at the Wedding
We are not having kids either due to financial constraints- it is hard, but if you allow the 5 year old to attend, that is VERY unfair to all of the other kids and their parents!! I think that you should stick to your guns, and hopefully your future in-laws will see the err of their ways! Good Luck!
Janice
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Re: Children at the Wedding
is he the only niece/nephew under 5 not being invited?
What is wrong with people?How much fun is this kid going to be anyway that they can't leave home without him
jersee3380
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Re: Children at the Wedding
She is the only niece under 12 on my fiance's side. I'm the one w/ all the kids!! And when I told my side 'no kids under 12' they were all relieved!! They could have a good time without worrying about the kids!! I really don't understand the deal on this one ,, theres got to be an underlying factor somewhere .. this 5 year old CANNOT be this important!!
starbright_33313
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nov04LIbride
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Re: Children at the Wedding
Posted by jersee3380
She is the only niece under 12 on my fiance's side. I'm the one w/ all the kids!! And when I told my side 'no kids under 12' they were all relieved!! They could have a good time without worrying about the kids!! I really don't understand the deal on this one ,, theres got to be an underlying factor somewhere .. this 5 year old CANNOT be this important!!
I don't know if it is worth fighting over. I don't think it should be an issue of who is paying for what. I had a no kids policy, but lo and behold DH's 3 nieces and nephews were there, the youngest 6 mos. old. It turned out OK, they were very well-behaved, but I can't say they had much fun. But, his sister wouldn't have come if she didn't bring them. I wouldn't have wanted a family feud over it.
Marisa M
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Re: Children at the Wedding
Who WANTS to bring their 5 year old - If I had a 5 year old I'd be looking for an excuse to have a night out w/ my husband !! =) They'll get over it. There is no reason for childern THAT small to be at an evening affair unless the Bride and Groom really want them there. - FH and I are not having any kids under 18, w/ the exception of his Godchild (and 1st cousin) - Anyone doesn't like it ? Too Bad - there were plenty of weddings I was not invited to as a child. Did my parents make a scene ? Of course not ! Why ? b/c it's RUDE
jersee3380
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Re: Children at the Wedding
exactly how i feel!
well, hope they get over it b/c my fiance and i already did!!
idovig
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Re: Children at the Wedding
your right and you might as well hope all of them don't come because then less plates for you to pay. lol
melijane
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Re: Children at the Wedding
I have the same thing I was told by future MIL that the kids are so used to going to family events and will be upset that they have to leave. So I said well if we tell them their option is to be in the party and stay for the cocktail hr or not go at all I think they'll be fine. She's great and I love her but we've made our decision. Its not the kids wedding!
wood2be
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Re: Children at the Wedding
I would call their bluff! Tell them you are very sorry they won't be there. See if they change their tune!
shellnroc
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Re: Children at the Wedding
It's your wedding. You and your FI should do what is good for the both of you. I want NO children at my wedding so I understand where you are coming from.
micmar
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Re: Children at the Wedding
that's pretty selfish of them - Although if you end up having to give in, suggest having the 5 year old picked up so the parents can enjoy the night. That's what both my brothers are doing. My nieces/nephew are flower girls/ring bearers, but are getting picked up after being announced at the reception.
aidamarie
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Re: Children at the Wedding
I had the same problem, my family all wants to bring their kids and we told them no, and they brought up the fact that my brothers 6 kids will be there aging from 18 months to 12 years old, but my brother past way last year and those kids are what i have left of him so FH and i decided if they didnt like the idea, they dont have to come.
