FH and I are having a little discussion. I would prefer to not have any children at our wedding, as I feel it sets a different atmosphere than I am looking to have. Being a single Dad, FH says its 'important' to have children at the wedding. Obviously his daughter will be attending and will be our flower girl, but he feels that there should be more children there and I feel that just she is enough. To be fair, FSD loves being the center of attention and has spent much of her life around adults and does not mind being in the company of them.
We decided to open the discussion up to your opinions. Please tell us why you decided for/against having children at the wedding. TIA!!
NYYankeeGirl72
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Re: Children at the wedding?
Not including my nephew (RB) and my niece (Jr BM), and whoever I choose for FG (?), I will have approximately have 2 children under 12. So in total I will have 5 children under the age of 12.
laurenandmike618
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We are definitely having children there. FH's father is the oldest of six children, and so FH has a lot of first cousins in their early teens, so we definitely need to include his first cousins. And his sister just had a baby a few days ago (yeyyy) so she will be there as well, as will some of our cousins' children. I don't mind children being there at all.
JenBill61210
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the only children we will be inviting are those in our immediate family
SummerBride10
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I'm having VERY few children at the wedding. Our FGs (my cousins) will be 5, 6 & 7. My sister is 14 (not a child). But in between my FGs and sisters are 3 other cousins who will be 10, 12, and 12. I had to invite them since ALL of my other cousins were invited. But thats it for kids.
candybride123
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We are having the children of the immediate family as well as the children of FH's first cousins. The total is about 15 kids (not counting some older kids like 15 - 18 y/o)
We made this decision based on the fact that this is just the way his family has always had a wedding. My family, is much smaller, and usually doesn't invite kids- but I did not want to offend anyone (esp FMIL) and in his fam kids are ALWAYS around- so I would feel weird not having them.
FMIL is helping us with some $ (about 10% of the wedding) and that's not a HUGE factor but def. something I consider when catering to some of her desires.
At my hall kids less than 7 are free and from 7-11 are half (7 and up is full price). So, that helps a lot- but I still hate paying $75 for a plate of chicken fingers haha!
LIMIT it to people who will really expect it. Don;t invite the children of people who would understand why their kids werent invited when they see what other kids at the wedding (ie closer fam/ friends).
Also, BRING THEM ACTIVITIES! I hired a babysitter and will have tons of stuff for them to do at their own table. They will still be free to roam but I feel like if I give them fun activities they may WANT to sit down and color etc
Nina1010
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Re: Children at the wedding?
There are a lot of kids in my family my nephews, nieces and my first cousins range in age from <1 - 15 - just kids under 21. FH has 3 kids under 16... SO.... I have a table put aside for them. I don't think anyone else will bring their children to the wedding though. We were thinking of wording the invite...adult only reception for that reason (family excluded) for that reason. Of course, you always have those who bring their children without letting you know.
Not sure if this helps much.
Trose
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We'll have anywhere from 9-11 children at the wedding. They are all mine and FH's cousins children. We are not inviting any children beyond that relation.
Yankees2323
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no children besides my ring bearer and my flower girl will be there... the youngest cousin i have comming is 17
Ivansgirl
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Re: Children at the wedding?
Although we know it will cost alot of moeny, we have to invite kids . My FH is one of 8. He is the youngest all his siblings are married with chilcren ranging from 1 year to 27 years old. So there is no clear cut off point. Plus family is super important to my FH. Plus, we know some of the parents might chose to leave their kids at home. BUt if we have a choice I wouldn't pay full price for kids if i didn't have to. (only kids under 5 are free and 5-10 are half)
futureMrsJSL
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Personally, I'd prefer not to have any children besides the ones in the wedding party but FH's side has a lot of children, so we can't leave them out
Jna2010
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the only children we have is 1 fg, and maybe 1 rb, other than that thats about it
MrsL2010
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we're only having 2 children, they will be my jr BM and my jr GM. they will be 13 and 10 at the time of the wedding, so they won't really be children. FMIL wanted us to invite all of FH's cousins kids (there are like 10 of them ages 2-8). luckily FFIL told her that we shouldn't waste our money on them
mosh424
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we are having 5 kids under 13 everyone else is over 13
Reymiliz
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honestly you can even notice them lol .... my sis had about 10 kids at her wedding and we had such a good tim I promise you i dont remember seeing one .,.... once i saw the pics i was like omg they were there!!!
asg450
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we're having children at our wedding, FH has a lot of children in his family. I don't mind having children at our reception; we don't have to pay full price for them and any children under 4 are free. I'm going to supply coloring books and crayons to keep them occupied.
Many people have weddings where only children of the immediate family are invited; there is nothing wrong with telling guests it's an adult reception. Just keep in mind, if your guests have children, they will have to arrange for child care and this may be a problem for some parents. However, many other parents would love to have some time away from the kids and socialize with other adults.
JillandJoe
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fh and i have said and will continue to say hel! no! juyst our opinion. His little cousins re great and so r most of mine, but two of them would tear that place upand ruin our wedding... im not having it. Plus all together we have 14 little cousins so we can't do it, its a waste of money since they won't remember it anyway.
Plus the adults need, deserve, and want a night to themselves so we;re gonna give it to them!
Im getting Married
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We are limiting the # of kids to ours, my RB. All my friends already know that we are paying for everything and totally understand that we don't want extra kids there. Plus they will enjoy themselves more if they don't have to watch over the kids.
I've been to weddings with both children and no kids and I had a great time at both.
bride2b57
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This has been a difficult decision. I have cousins from out of state that all have small children. My aunts and uncles are obviously coming to the wedding too, so its not like they can watch the children. Its a lot to ask them to travel without them. On the other hand, it does change the atmosphere and I think can add some unnecessary stress. I was considering asking around for sitters. This way they have someone ahead of time.
