FH & I decided not to invite any children to the wedding beside FG and RB. We invited 292 and expect about 250 people. Our wedding is a Friday night and since our siblings do not have children and our youngest cousin is 15, we are not particulary close to any young children who we feel 'need' to be there so late on a Friday.
The drama begins... one of FH's cousins (who he is not close to!) is complaining big time that her child (who will be 3 months old!) is not invited. FMIL is fuming and furious at her niece but my mom thinks we should invite the baby. FMIL and FH are upset because when they went to this cousin's wedding, no children were invited even though one of her other cousins could not come without her infant. I guess every parent thinks their child is the exeption to the rule.
I'm curious what you all are doing about children and your suggestion for handling this situation.
dita531
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eogara
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Re: Children drama - Need advice!
Oh lord, I so did not want ANY children there at all. I have 8 nieces and nephews (7-14) and FH has one niece (4) and 2 little cousins. I also have about a thousand little cousins. We compromised - the nieces and nephews as well as his 2 little cousins are invited (total of 10, the 14 year old we're counting as an adult). I personally still feel that a night wedding is no place for children but not everyone felt that way unfortunately
newnybride2be
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Re: Children drama - Need advice!
keep it the way you want it. You invited only your fg and rb to the wedding and that is the way it should be. Dont give in, because if word gets around, I am sure there will be others that expect to bring their kids as well. You already have the support of your FH and FMIL and its their side of the family, so I really think you shouldn't invited the baby.
divabride
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Re: Children drama - Need advice!
Keep that foot down and stay strong!!!!
gina&ken
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Re: Children drama - Need advice!
the only children we invited were our first cousins.
SUNSHINE24
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Re: Children drama - Need advice!
Being a mother, i know that its hard to leave a baby as young as 3 months. But, thats to bad, if you cant be apart from your child then they shouldnt go. I think its rude for people to question why there children are or are not invited. Most night-time weekend weddings are not the proper setting for children. If it was a daytime wedding that might be questionable. Even so, its your decision and it should be respected.
Darcy
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Re: Children drama - Need advice!
We do have one baby coming. It is one of my BMs, and her child in less than a year. She still breastfeeds and the wedding is out of state for her. It is best that she just brings him. Besides, I love him. He has been to a wedding before and was fine.
He is also free, food wise.
David'sbride
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Re: Children drama - Need advice!
Honestly, it doesn't matter if it is a daytime or a nighttime wedding if you do not want children there then don't invite them. My wedding is during the day and I am planning an elegant affair that does not cater to children. Why do people think it'smore appropriate to bring their kids to a daytime wedding? It's still not a function designed for children.
My wedding is daytime on a federal holiday. Sorry, but my cousin's have to find babysitters for their kids. I have a huge family and can't even invite all of my first cousins as I wanted a small wedding. I never wanted to have ANY kids at my wedding but FH has four nieces and one nephew and all live out of state. That's the only compromise I made. No, they are not in the wedding party because FMIL said I'd have to have all of them. I'm not even having a bridal party so the kids would out-number the bride, groom, BM and MOH!
Stay strong with this. Like a previous poster said I can understand not wanting to leave a three month old well then, sorry, you can't go. I already started to adopt this mindset for next year as FH and I want children right away. I know once I have kids and receive invites to functions that the kids are not included. I either will have to get a babysitter or don;t go. That's life. Your cousin is being unreasonable. It's one or the other.
italia6973
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Re: Children drama - Need advice!
The only children I want there are the RB and FG also. The majority of my family is over in Europe, so they would be the only exceptions. I can't tell my cousin's sure you can come from the other side of the world, but leave your kids home. Even still, it would might end up being a couple of kids.
ckgmwedding
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Re: Children drama - Need advice!
That's just ridiculous. I think a reminder that they had no children at their wedding and that this is the way you are doing it should suffice.
I was only having the FG and RB- my FH niece and nephew until I realized that they will be out of control. I invited another child who is very mature to be their playmate. Since my hall doesn't charge for children under 5, I thought this playmate who is always perfectly behaved would set a good example for the FG and RB- We'll see....
mcaula
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Re: Children drama - Need advice!
No Kids on my day and that is Final
jesslangen
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Re: Children drama - Need advice!
I was completely against have kids at the wedding, but I lost that battle. My family is relatively small so saying no children really didn't offend anyone one my side.
HOWEVER, FH has a million cousins and such and he said his family all babysits for each other. So if we wanted them all at the wedding we had to invite the kids as well. *sigh* this was a battle I didn't have in me to fight.
But, if you both made that agreement from the start I say stick to it. Don't give in, its your day. You should worry about making yourself happy, not family members whom you only see at 'special occasions'' anyway.
melissaandsean
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Re: Children drama - Need advice!
we are only inviting our siblings children, which totals 11 kids. The oldest will be 15, the youngest 3 1/2...
These are OUR neices and nephews - there is just no way we couldn't invite them. We'd miss them way TOO much.
No other children though - no cousin's kids or anything like that.
catherine
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Re: Children drama - Need advice!
NO CHILDREN! Except the RB and the FG! And they are probably going to getting pick up b/c they are so young. I feel strongly against not inviting children (exept nieces and nephews). The cost, if you invite one you have to invite everyone, they will run all over the place all night, etc!!!!!!
DMcK
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Re: Children drama - Need advice!
Thanks so much for all of your support
jimmysgrl
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Re: Children drama - Need advice!
I can imagine this is probably going to come up with my wedding too and did come up with my FH, but my parents just asked me to blame it on them that kids couldn't be invited. They said that since they were paying for the recpetion, $50/per child is askign a whole heck of a lot. I agree with you, you need to stay strong because there is NO WAY to invite one and then not have hurt feelings across the board....
Soon-2-B-Donnie T
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Re: Children drama - Need advice!
I think it really depends on the relationship you have with the children you are considering. I come from a large family and have several nieces and nephews. I dont have children, so they are like my children. They mean the world to me and there would be no way I would not have them there to share my day. My FH disagrees, but I need my munchkins there to bring extra joy to the day. I hope that helps you decide a litte.
jeanla4c
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Re: Children drama - Need advice!
Posted by gina&ken
the only children we invited were our first cousins.
US too, but I am really afraid of what may happen when the invites go out!
BlondeJD
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Re: Children drama - Need advice!
We aren't having children at the wedding either. We aren't even having FG or RB. I think it's your wedding and if your parents are okay with you not having kids there, then that's all there is to it. If you bend the rules for one person, it's not fair for all of the other people who were polite enough to accomodate your request and make babysitting arrangements.
I would just tell her (or have FMIL tell her): 'I'm sorry but we've decided to not to have any children at the wedding. We will miss you if you decide not to attend, but we really can't make an exception for one person without having to make an exception for everyone.'
