Choosing Bridesmaids

Kara and Todd Posted: Sep 11, 2006 11:54 AM

Choosing Bridesmaids

I guess I am wondering if there is any sort of etiquette I need to follow here. I know who I would like to have in my bridal party and I am strongly inclined to go with this plan. I just want to make sure that I am not breaking some sort of bridal party code.

I have no sisters. I have two brothers who are 8 and 10 years older than me. Both are married, and I was in both their weddings. I was also in my cousin's wedding (She is 12 years older than I am). All are married with children.

My maid of honor will be my best friend. I would like to have 3 of my other closest friends in the wedding. Since my FH has 2 sisters and I have 2 brothers, we are going to have each other's siblings in the wedding party. I am also asking my cousin's daughter to be in the wedding - She is college-aged and we are close.

My question is whether I need to ask my sisters-in-law to be in the wedding party. I am inclined not to ask them. We get along, but they live out of state (and we aren't terribly close in part due to the age difference). Should there be a problem with that? The people I have selected and want to ask are the girls closest to me and my FH's sisters. We're up to 7 already, which I think is pretty big already for the bridal party...

I'm inclined to have the 'this is my wedding and these are the people I want to have in it' attitude, but I also don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. I can't imagine them having their feelings hurt, but does anyone else have any thoughts?

thelastresort Posted: Sep 11, 2006 11:56 AM

Re: Choosing Bridesmaids

I think it's okay if you don't ask them considering you aren't close with them and they are a lot older then you. Ask who you want.

kimnsteve Posted: Sep 11, 2006 11:58 AM

Re: Choosing Bridesmaids

I asked my FSIL but we are close...I dont think that you have to ask ...My FH brother is getting married and they didn't ask her to be in the wedding so I guess it all depends on the relationship that you have with the person

don't choose someone just because u feel bad

CLMon7906 Posted: Sep 11, 2006 11:59 AM

Re: Choosing Bridesmaids

Let me just throw out some advice, DO NOT FEEL OBLIGATED IN ANY FASHION TO INCLUDE ANYONE IN THE WEDDING PARTY. I felt obligated to include DH's sister and it was miserable. Unless you get along PERFECTLY with his sisters and know there is ABSOLUTELY no way they'll cause you a moment's grief, I wouldn't have them. they can do something else..just not be bridesmaids. most girls here who've used their FH's sister[s] have had some issue at some point with them and eithe kicked them out or wished they had...even if just for a moment.

AMGBride2008 Posted: Sep 11, 2006 12:04 PM

Re: Choosing Bridesmaids

I asked who I wanted to ask. FH has two sisters, one of them is his twin. I said that I didn't really want them in the bridal party, not because I don't love them because I do... I just want the people I'm closest with to be standing with me and by my side that day.
Do whatcha want!

libby2595 Posted: Sep 11, 2006 12:15 PM

Re: Choosing Bridesmaids

to repeat what others have said..... go with your heart and your gut. PERIOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i did, and i don't regret a minute of it. the only person giving me a headache is one jr bridesmaid's mother. and i've already put that behind me.

your bridal party is just that YOURS.

best of luck