Church Nightmare

Mijita Posted: Aug 12, 2002 08:44 PM

Church Nightmare

Hi Everyone,
I have a major prob. We are getting married Aug. of 03 and the church we wish to marry in has told me (over the phone) that we can not marry there, we have to marry at our zone church (neighborhood parish). I live in N.Y.C. & my Fiance lives in Chicago (yeah, I know long distant relationship). He (priest) was so nasty to me that I was a bit upset. We have gone to two of my neighborhood churches and they are cool with it (I do need to get permission from my baptizmal church , so that we can marry in the other). But we really want that other church. I don't know if we should be forcefull. I don't understand how famous people marry where ever they want!!!! HELP ME! What can we do. Can it be true what the priest told me?????

vamdep Posted: Aug 12, 2002 08:46 PM

Re: Church Nightmare

Some churches require a letter from your 'home' church allowing you to be married elsewhere (aka another church).

from what I understand it is as simple as that

Good luck

MISHY Posted: Aug 12, 2002 09:14 PM

Re: Church Nightmare

THE SAME THING HAPPENED TO ME AND THE WAY I GOT AROUND IT IS I JOINED THE PARISH, THAT IS THE MAJOR THING TO DO THEN WHEN YOUR A MEMBER YOU TELL THEM YOU ARE INTERESTED IN GETTING MARRIED IN YOUR NEW PARISH :) IT WORKED FOR ME ... GOOD LUCK

Becky Posted: Aug 13, 2002 08:12 AM

Re: Church Nightmare

Become a member of the church you want to be married in. You have a year, so you should be able to become a member of the parish now and then tell them you want to be married there. Hopefully there will be another priest or deacon you can deal with who is a little nicer.

Sonicstef Posted: Aug 13, 2002 08:44 AM

Re: Church Nightmare

Some churchs will marry parishnors of other parishes and some will not. There is no point in being forceful since the nasty priest doesn't have to marry you if he doesn't want to.

Consider this a blessing - you DO NOT want to be dealing with a nasty priest. No matter beautiful the church, the ceremony and preperations will be too stressful.

Find another church who will welcome you with open arms.

HappyEverAfter Posted: Aug 13, 2002 09:10 AM

Re: Church Nightmare

I also fell in love w. the church near my reception, and was told by the priest there (and not in a nice way) that they would not marry us there, since we were not members of the parish. So we joined the parish where we live now, and are getting married there. Its not as nice inside, but the priest who is marrying us is so nice, it more than makes up for it. You are better off looking at another church you will be comfortable with.

michele31 Posted: Aug 13, 2002 03:59 PM

Re: Church Nightmare

Why do you want a nasty Priest to marry you anyway? Normally you get married in your 'Parish' which is dicated by where you live. You cannot force another Church to allow you to marry there just because it is pretty. St. Patrick's Cathedral in NYC doesn't just let people get married there because they want to. I agree that celebrities/famous people can marry where they want, very often if you notice it is not in a catholic church, but they pull strings to do that.
If you are very unhappy with your Parish church for some reason, you can also consider getting married in Church where your parent's live. That is sometimes easier to work out.

jenny11.9 Posted: Aug 13, 2002 04:17 PM

Re: Church Nightmare

If you become a member of the parish, it should be fine. Maybe there is another priest you can speak with. But really - better to find a place that is eager to celebrate your day with joy. The pretty part will come from you!!!!

michele31 Posted: Aug 13, 2002 04:30 PM

Re: Church Nightmare

If you do not live in the Parish boundries then you cannot 'join'. Sometimes if you have a special attachement to the Church such as you went to the Church you whole life but have moved to another town, you can still be a member. But to join a church just to get married in it is silly.